Watch Miley Cyrus turn 'Santa Baby' into a feminist anthem
Another Christmas classic bites 2018's dust
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CELEBRITY Miley cyrus
The world has been abuzz this holiday season, as age-old Christmas classics find themselves clashing with the modern mentality of 2018. There are so many holly jolly tunes that haven't aged well, and the beloved 1953 'Santa Baby' is, unfortunately, one of them.
Just before performing the song on 'The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,' Miley Cyrus met up with Fallon to point out some of the lyrics she feels uncomfortable singing. She asks, "Am I saying that I'm going to hook up with Santa if he buys me all this stuff?"
The song begins as usual, and as Fallon comes out with a diamond necklace, Cyrus sings, "Santa baby, I don't need any fancy jewelry. Not me. I've got something else in mind."
"Don't want diamonds, cash or stocks. Nothing that comes in a box. No more fluff, I've had enough. And I can buy my own damn stuff." If you're worried about ruining the flow or mood of the song or something similarly superfluous, Cyrus does a fantastic job of preserving the spirit of the original tune.
While she continues to update the lyrics, adding something about buying her own car by herself, Mark Ronson comes in with Fallon, both carrying car keys for her. Then Cyrus details the thing on every woman's Christmas wish list this year: "Listen Santa to what I say, a girl's best friend is... equal pay."
Santa then apparently becomes a regular guy you could meet at a bar, and Cyrus sings to him, "So stop interrupting me when I talk, and don't text me pictures of your—" but she's interrupted, thankfully.
"Santa baby, I'd love to know my ass won't get grabbed at work, by some ignorant jerk," she continues, while Fallon and Ronson "accidentally" put the ornaments in a familiar configuration. "So, tell the dirtbag to put away the chimney tonight," Cyrus concludes.
The future of Christmas classics is uncertain ('Baby It's Cold Outside,' we're looking at you), but while we wait for new ones to emerge from that secret place that Mariah Carey dipped into with 'All I Want for Christmas Is You,' we can at least enjoy the old melodies with some slightly altered lyrics.