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Bidet -

You'll find a bidet in most bathrooms in southern European houses, which might explain the lack of fights over toilet paper in that part of the world.

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Bidet -

Shunned by many countries in the Anglosphere as unhygienic, in southern Europe the bidet is a required presence in every room with a toilet bowl and subject to strict hygiene regulations.

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Japanese toilet -

Japan has one of lowest recorded numbers of cases of the deadly coronavirus. This might be due the country's culture of strict hygiene. 

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Japanese toilet -

Japanese toilets have more buttons than you could possibly know what to do with. Moreover, they often come with either built-in or hand-held cleaning nozzles. A spike in sales to the West seems on the horizon.

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Cardboard rolls -

We've all been there. We finish doing our business, look around and all we see are these guys lying around.

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Cardboard tubes -

Not the most pleasant of prospects, but in dire times...

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Old socks -

Face it, you're not going to use them for anything else... just don't flush them. 

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Rocks -

No, not the ones with the sharp edges that you find on the beach. Some nice smooth and round ones will do just fine. This method was actually very popular in ancient times. 

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Rocks -

They employed the so-called "scraping method," whereby the rock is dabbed into water to remove debris for reuse. 

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Xylospongium -

A what? It's what the Romans used to wipe their behinds, and it's basically a very fancy word for a sponge on a stick. 

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Xylospongium -

One Roman bathroom habit you should probably avoid replicating is sharing them out. In that case, definitely don't do as the Romans do!

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Bank notes -

When things get really rough, and the apocalypse has well and truly descended upon us, these won't be worth anything anyway.

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Newspaper -

Whoever said print media was a thing of the past? They were wrong.

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Newspaper -

Just wipe away the endless stream of bad news with yesterday's paper.

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Rags -

We all have them lying around our house. In cases of emergency they'll do the job. Don't flush!

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Wet wipes/baby wipes -

We've already been told that they're not effective replacements for products like hand-sanitizer in the fight against Covid-19. 

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Wet wipes/baby wipes -

So we might as well use them for other things, such as replacing scarce toilet paper.

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Leaves -

Leaves are nature's toilet paper, but be careful and make sure they don't have thorns and that they're not natural skin irritants.

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Leaves -

Some of the species are extremely difficult to tell apart, such as thimbleberry and the Devil's Club for example. 

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Banana leaves -

In the worst case scenario where we're all condemned back to a primitive state of nature, leaves will always do the trick.

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Banana leaves -

Banana leaves are said to be especially effective. There's a lot of surface space and they're very smooth, smoother even than your average toilet paper.

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Shower -

Thankfully, however, Armageddon hasn't arrived quite yet, and it looks like running water will be with us for the time being. 

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Shower -

So when you're out of toilet paper, why not just take a good old-fashioned shower? Not ideal, to be sure, but it should do the trick.

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Receipts -

That drawer full of receipts? Maybe check to see which ones you don't need anymore and put them to use during an "emergency."

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Handkerchiefs -

If you do plan to use these to take care of yourself, you might want to get used to the principle of wipe and wash. Hey, beggars can't be choosers.

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Rope -

Pirates and seafarers of olden times cleaned themselves by dipping a rope into seawater. Imagine the logistics involved when you have a hook for a hand, one functional eye and a wooden leg. 

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Water -

This might be the simplest of all of the alternatives listed. A bucket of water.

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Water -

Again, not a great prospect, but desperate times could be on the way. 

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Hands -

Last, and most certainly least, there's always your own hands. 

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Hands -

Though in some cultures, using your hands is actually an accepted way of hygiene. Be that as it may, for the love of everything that's dear to you, wash your hands thoroughly afterwards! 

In this time of coronavirus, are you being safe? Take the test now!

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