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Recognize that rejection is pain -

People talk about the "sting of rejection" as if it's a physical pain, like an insect bite or a headache. It might sound silly, but there is in fact some truth in this.

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Recognize that rejection is pain -

According to one study by the University of Michigan, rejection triggers the same part of the brain as physical pain. You can therefore think of rejection as pain itself.

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Recognize that rejection is pain -

The reason for this has to do with evolution: in the past when hunter-gatherers couldn't survive without their tribe, those who experienced rejection as more painful stood a better chance of surviving–they were more willing to adapt their behavior to suit the rest of the tribe.

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Allow yourself time to process your feelings -

As with any difficult emotion, it can be tempting to brush feelings of rejection under the carpet. But it's important to face those feelings and allow yourself time to process them.

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Allow yourself time to process your feelings -

Being rejected can bring up all sorts of complex, negative emotions, so be kind to yourself and remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel.

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Allow yourself time to process your feelings -

According to psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps, a helpful exercise is to write down all the emotions you're feeling and then pair them with the thoughts that accompany them.

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Make a list of what makes you great -

Once you've allowed yourself some time to experience those feelings, start to build your self-esteem back up by remembering everything that makes you great.

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Make a list of what makes you great -

For a particularly self-affirming experience, try writing a list of all your redeeming qualities. Putting them down on paper can help you absorb them on a deeper level.

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Make a list of what makes you great -

Try reading the list out loud to yourself each morning. According to Becker-Phelps, self-affirmations help us feel stronger by showing us who we really are and how we identify ourselves.

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Think about your role in getting rejected -

There are some rejections in which it's likely you didn't play a part at all–you can hardly be blamed for someone's decision to "swipe left" on your dating profile after just a few seconds, for instance.

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Think about your role in getting rejected -

And yet there are some scenarios in which we play more of a role. For example, if you suddenly stop receiving invites to hang out with friends, think about how you behaved the last time you saw them.

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Think about your role in getting rejected -

It may be that you can easily identify the reason that you stopped receiving those invitations, and if so use the opportunity to learn how you can better behave in the future.

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Don’t obsess over it though -

That said, it's important not to dwell on the role you played in getting rejected. Self-reflection or self-examination is a positive thing, whereas self-criticism not so much.

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Don’t obsess over it though -

If you do identify a scenario in which you could have behaved differently, don't beat yourself up about it. Simply take your learnings and use them to do better next time.

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Don’t obsess over it though -

According to psychologist Guy Winch, self-criticism is harmful, unnecessary, and interferes with our ability to learn from the experience by demoralizing and demotivating us.

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After a date, don’t engage in negative self-talk -

It is particularly important not to let deprecating thoughts spiral after a bad date. Unfortunately, as most of us know, this is all too easy to do.

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After a date, don’t engage in negative self-talk -

Bad dates happen all the time, and it doesn't come down to anything either individual did wrong. It's just that the connection wasn't right.

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After a date, don’t engage in negative self-talk -

To quote Guy Winch: "If the chemistry wasn’t there for them, it was because there was something wrong about the match, not because there was something wrong with us."

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Surround yourself with people who value you -

In addition to listing all the great things about yourself, another way to build your self-esteem back up is to surround yourself with people who make you feel valued.

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Surround yourself with people who value you -

According to Winch, rejection messes with our feeling of belonging, and so it's important after being rejected to spend time with people who value who we are.

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Surround yourself with people who value you -

Simply being around those who value you is beneficial in itself, but if you're brave enough, opening up to them about the rejection can be a great way to work through the pain.

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Or even just think about them -

If, for whatever reason, you can't actually see your loved ones in person, why not give them a phone call? Life often gets in the way of meeting up, but a chat is better than nothing.

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Or even just think about them -

If not even a phone call is possible, it can help just to think about your nearest and dearest. Try looking at a picture of those people every day and remind yourself that they support you.

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Or even just think about them -

To quote Becker-Phelps: "Sometimes by repeating that and seeing the pictures, you start to take it inside and then you kind of carry it in your heart more strongly."

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Engage in healthy habits -

Sometimes the only thing getting in the way of the healing process after rejection is a poor lifestyle. The first thing to remedy is unhealthy eating.

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Engage in healthy habits -

Exercising regularly will also improve your mood and help you be strong when faced with difficult emotions. It will also help you sleep better, which in turn also improves mood.

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Engage in healthy habits -

Staying hydrated is also very important. In general, the healthier you are physically, the better equipped you will be to deal with rejection.

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Don't let it get in your way -

Finally (and perhaps most importantly), don't let rejection stand in the way of your moving forward. At the end of the day, rejection is a part of life that we all have to cope with.

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Don't let it get in your way -

Next time you experience rejection, don't let it stop you from doing anything. Rather, use it as fuel to work on what you can do going forward.

Sources: (Good Housekeeping) (Oprah Magazine)

See also: The best steps towards ultimate self-care

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