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Be a role model -

Like with any trait that a parent wants a child to mimic, the first port of call should be to embody the characteristic, so children learn what it looks like to be compassionate.

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How it looks -

In a practical sense, this can be done in many ways. One of the ways is to express the feeling. A parent might see a homeless man, speak to him, offer him some money, and share with their child how they feel for the man afterward.

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Asking the child to engage -

Another great way that a parent can nudge a child toward exploring these feelings is to ask the child how they think another person might be feeling. For example, a parent might ask a child how they think a stressed-looking waiter might be feeling when they drop food on the table.

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The need for compassion in a virtual world -

Navigating virtual communication isn’t simple for anyone, especially children. We communicate through tone, gestures, body language, and facial expressions.

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A cold message -

When other people can’t pick up on these other forms of communication, like when we communicate online, it’s very easy to come across as cold.

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Social media -

Parents should have conversations with children about how easy it is for someone to be hurt by something they say online when the person can’t see their face.

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Children should be warned -

Children should also be warned that even though what they do online will eventually seem to be lost in time, there is a sense of permanence of social media. Even if posts are deleted, there will always be a record of it.

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Framing it to children -

Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, points out some tips that parents can give children for communicating online. One is to ask them to reflect on whether or not they would stand by their comment in 10 years.

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Ask the child to slow down and think -

Another is to think and process how they feel before acting and to consider how the other person who will be affected by their online actions is feeling or what they might be going through.

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A gratitude exercise -

Gratitude goes a very long way in harnessing compassion. A good exercise to do at the dinner table is to go around and for everyone to say something they’re grateful for.

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It can't hurt to try -

It’s a great way to launch a dinner conversation at the very least and to hear about each person’s day.

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Compassionate is only possible when... -

Being compassionate is only truly possible when someone can understand what another person is feeling. This can be modeled and certain questions can help.

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A possible scenario to present -

Parents can present scenarios during their conversations with children, asking them how they might feel if they spent a lot of time choosing a birthday gift and didn’t receive a thank you.

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Getting their brain thinking -

The child might very quickly conclude that they might feel sad because they feel under-appreciated or taken for granted. This prepares a child to better identify it in another person in the future.

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Leading by example -

If you tell your child to be mindful of how they communicate with other people and then berate your partner or verbally abuse a waiter, it sends mixed messages.

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Teaching them to be able to apologize -

The “do what I say and not what I do” approach to any kind of leadership doesn’t work. Instead, you should make it a priority to apologize in front of the child if you do fly off the handle.

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Teaching children emotional language -

Without the vocabulary for emotions, how we feel and how other people feel is just a vague and cloudy concept that we cannot grasp. If we can’t understand it, then we can’t exactly empathize.

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Flash card -

Very young children, like those who are in preschool, can be helped to understand by being given the task of making “feelings flash-cards” out of pictures, drawings, and faces cut from magazines and newspapers. The cards can then be discussed as a group.

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Older children understand more complex emotions -

The cards at the beginning will be simple, but as children get older the kinds of feelings will become more nuanced, with feelings like shyness, surprise, and irritation coming up.

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Asking them how a character might feel -

When reading books with a child, you can very easily prompt them to consider a third party’s feelings by asking them what they think a character in the book is feeling. They will also get more involved in their books this way.

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Encouragement -

When a child is kind and compassionate, parents should encourage and praise this behavior. Positive reinforcement works at every age and is a tried-and-true method of promoting certain behaviors.

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The child who shares -

When a child has a bag of sweets and shares some with other children who don’t, a parent might explain how it was kind of them to share with them.

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Don't overpraise -

Professionals often warn that overpraising can become an issue. Children should be praised now and again for nice things they do, but if they’re praised too much then the risk is run that they start doing things just for the praise itself and not for others.

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Inform them that being compassionate isn't always easy -

Parents should instill the idea in a child’s mind that they may have to suffer a short-term discomfort if they are going to be compassionate. For instance, they might show up at their sports practice to make good on their commitment to a team (even when they don’t want to).

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Gratefulness and compassion are related -

In teaching a child to be aware of other people’s misfortunes, they will automatically be more grateful for what they do have.

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A step further -

Certain communities will help children become more aware of people who are less well off. For instance, signing an older child or teenager up to volunteer at a soup kitchen will give them a first-hand glance at lesser fortunate people.

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Nature vs. nurture -

The key takeaway is that even though some children will be naturally more compassionate than others, we can still guide most children to become more compassionate individuals.

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Going forward -

The key ways that are known to help are in leading by example, having a dialogue with the child regarding other people's suffering, asking the right questions, and teaching them to be more mindful of others in general.

Sources: (Parents.com)

See also: Celebrities give their best parenting advice

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