Six sides, endless possibilities
Our idea of love in modern times has been reduced to the romantic, head-over-heels variety, and it's often seen as the most valuable kind of love a person can have. But the ancient Greeks are turning in their graves at the thought! According to them, there are actually eight types of love, and learning about them can help you welcome more love into your life and better understand the kinds that challenge you. These types of love can be combined with each other and turn into stronger bonds, but some can turn into the most sour kind of love if pursued alone.
Curious? Click through the following gallery, based on information from Organic Authority, to see what the great ancient Greek thinkers concluded about life's most important and complex phenomenon.
Named after the Greek god of fertility, Eros comes closest to our modern concept of romantic love.
It is physical, powerful, and intense, and it is guided by lust, pleasure, and infatuation, meaning it usually isn't that deep.
Greeks were actually fearful of this love, as they associated this instinctual impulse for pleasure and procreation with a dangerous loss of control.
Eros is a brightly burning flame that quickly burns out unless it is fueled with another, less superficial, love.
Eros is often paired with Ludus, in what is sometimes called puppy love. It's the playful affection and butterflies in your stomach at the beginning of a relationship.
Laughing, teasing, and flirting are all telling signs of this love, but it can also be felt while laughing with friends, dancing with strangers, or sending flirty messages.
Some studies show that when people are experiencing this type of love, their brain acts as if it was on cocaine, lighting up as though you were high, making you feel young and euphoric.
Modern times have developed a commercialized version of self-love, but philautia means having pride in your work, taking care of yourself, and maintaining a loving inner dialogue.
You can't give other people something you don't have yourself, so people who don't love themselves can never fully experience love with others until they remedy their relationship with their self.
Take care not to push philautia to the extreme, however, as it can easily become narcissism, which looks more like self-obsession, vanity, and focus on one's own personal gain.
An unbalanced eros and a lack of healthy philautia can turn into this mad, jealous, angry love. Mania can form in a person desperate to maintain the sense of self-value that their partner provides.
Toxic behavior like stalking, codependency, paranoid jealousy, and violence are all signs of mania.
Those experiencing mania fear losing the person they love, so they go to great and terrible lengths to keep them.
You're lucky if you've experienced pragma, a deep understanding and harmony between two people. It's an enduring love that is evident in healthy, long-term relationships.
Pragma is the opposite of eros, as it's about giving love instead of just finding it. Eros is a bright, quick flame, and pragma is a slow, warm burn.
This is not an easy love to achieve, as it requires patience, tolerance, compromise, and a significant amount of time.
This kind of love is that of kinship, naturally flowing between parents and children.
It involves an unbalanced relationship of dependency, and it is unconditional.
This kinship bond is one of the most powerful loves, and it can also sometimes grow between friends, bosses and colleagues, and owners and pets.
Ancient Greeks valued philia over all the other types of love, as it is a love shared between people who consider themselves equals.
Some characteristics of this bond include loyalty, communicating good and bad emotions, sacrifice, and a shared goodwill.
While this love has no sexual element, the intimacy of this companionship has the power to transform eros from a physical lust to a more spiritual bond.
You may have heard of philia as "platonic" love, as it was Plato who argued that physical attraction wasn’t necessary for love.
This love is selfless, unconditional, and extends to every single person in the world. It's an undiscriminating love for humanity as a whole.
Empathy is key to agape, which is believed to be the highest form of love, yet is also in too-short supply today.
This love is given freely to people of all walks of life, and without any expectations or judgment.
The ancient Greeks believed this love to be radical, as so few seem capable of experiencing it long-term. It's the kind of love attributed to figures like Jesus Christ (i.e. suffering for the happiness of others).
Everyone gives and receives love differently, and some people are more capable of experiencing certain types of love than others. The love you value most is ultimately up to you.
A much more modern take on love has been Dr. Gary Chapman's popular love languages, which are five different ways of expressing and receiving love.
8 types of love to look out for, according to ancient Greeks
Romantic love wasn't the most important to them
LIFESTYLE Love
Our idea of love in modern times has been reduced to the romantic, head-over-heels variety, and it's often seen as the most valuable kind of love a person can have. But the ancient Greeks are turning in their graves at the thought! According to them, there are actually eight types of love, and learning about them can help you welcome more love into your life and better understand the kinds that challenge you. These types of love can be combined with each other and turn into stronger bonds, but some can turn into the most sour kind of love if pursued alone.
Curious? Click through the following gallery, based on information from Organic Authority, to see what the great ancient Greek thinkers concluded about life's most important and complex phenomenon.