The gap between those who can access and use digital technology and those who can't
Snapchat is pretty personal in that it's all visual. It's a little creepy to request to be able to look into someone's life before even getting their number and putting in some groundwork.
There's already space for you to upload a bunch of photos on these websites and apps, so you don't need to keep sending selfies. It can come across as self-absorbed. Get to know the person by actually trying to learn more about them.
There's no need to exchange numbers soon into a chat. Saying that it takes too much effort to open the app means you don't want to make the effort. There are also boundaries. Who wants a stranger to be able to contact them whenever they want?
Okay, so nobody is going to believe you when you say that you're not into dating apps and you're just trying it out. Also, explaining that you find them weird is just insulting to the person you're speaking to. Quit it!
If anyone has used a specific dating app for any decent amount of time, they'll know what the automated conversation starters the app generates are. They're obvious. They're insincere. They're lazy. They're uninteresting. Need any more reasons not use them?
Have some imagination. How can someone respond to "hey"? Ask a question. Get some confidence or fake some.
We don't care who you are, what you look like, or what you have achieved—you are never in the position to start listing specific physical requirements of another person (height, weight, body type, etc.). The only requests you can make is that they're nice, kind, and things of that nature.
Okay, so it's great that you're into saving the environment and spending time volunteering, but it's pretty transparent what you're trying to do when your profile photo is you protesting or serving food at a soup kitchen. You don't need to scream that you're a great person on your dating profile.
People want to know what you do, not just that you're a "go-getter." It's just unspecific and a little bit boastful. Starting a lemonade stand makes you an entrepreneur. If you run a plant shop or a café, say it.
Again, don't demand things from a potential future partner. Drop the "swipe left if you don't live for cheese." You would be closed-minded if you thought that you couldn't date someone who doesn't like all the same foods or has all the same interests as you.
Have at least three photos of yourself so someone can make an informed decision as to whether they're attracted to you physically. Having too few photos screams that the account isn't real, you don't quite look like you do in the few photos in real life, or you're lazy/not confident enough to put up more.
Unless your target audience is fellow photographers or something, you can drop the beautiful photos of nature on your profile. If you want someone to know that you like spending time hiking or in nature, you can tell them.
Sure, pet people understand pet people. We get it, you like dogs. But nobody is looking to date your dog. While it does advertise that you're caring, there's no need to make your entire profile about dogs.
The best-case scenario is that you clutter up your match queue with a bunch of people you aren’t interested in. In the worst-case scenario, you'll end up with no matches and will feel down afterward.
Imagine you are meeting someone in real life for the first time. You wouldn't just sum up your entire life story to them, would you? The same goes for online dating. Keep the bio short. They don't need to know everything right away.
Take some pride in your appearance. If someone doesn't like how you look, another person will. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don't try to change how you look to fit today's beauty standards.
If you've matched with someone, it should be a no-brainer to not message them saying that you spotted them in real life at a supermarket or something. If you did spot them and didn't have the chance to introduce yourself nicely and politely, just leave it. It just makes a person feel like they're being spied on. It's creepy...
Being judgmental of how another person looks or seems to be during a first meeting is a very ugly trait. Try to be kind and polite to people. Online dating isn't easy.
People have their worries and concerns. Sure, opening up communicates that you trust them and can bring you closer together, but be wary of dropping really heavy stuff on someone too soon.
Relationships are as much about timing as they are anything else. Nobody wants to be compared to another person. We're individuals, and if we're being compared to other people it doesn't feel great.
Keep your head up and shoulders back. Someone not sharing mutual interest doesn't mean that you're going to be alone forever. There are many people out there that will return the sentiment.
Sources: (Cosmopolitan) (InsideHook)
See also: Is it possible to find love online? Researchers say it is
This is similar to the previous point about oversharing. It's a big warning sign if someone speaks badly about their ex. Also, you wouldn't show someone your physical body scars or ask to see theirs at the beginning, so don't ask or show your emotional ones too soon either.
People have their own lives. There might be a legit reason why they stopped messaging (a death, trying to save your feelings, they met someone, etc.). Also, getting upset just scares people away.
Do not think months or years ahead. Don't try to predict how things might go wrong (because that's how you make them go wrong), or even how they might go right. Try to live in the present.
You might not be successful on one app, yet have great luck on another. Some are for more mature users, for instance. There are tons out there, so get exploring.
It's so insignificant that you don't need to lie about it. If you lie about your age from the offset it's not a good sign. Honesty is the cornerstone of all relationships, and you've broken it already.
Keep in mind that when somebody spots you on a dating platform, they're interested in you and not your group of friends having a fun picnic. If things ever go anywhere, they will be dating you, not your friends.
Things you should never do when online dating
Boost your chances of finding love online by avoiding these mistakes
LIFESTYLE Relationships
Online dating can be a little bit trickier. We can't rely on smiles and body language—it's all messages and photographs. In people's defense, it's a challenge to know what to say to a stranger that will somehow conjure up a relationship out of thin air. On the other hand, it's pretty clear what we shouldn't do. With that in mind, to learn what you should never do when online dating, click through this gallery.