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Another approach is exposure response prevention therapy (ERP), in which you voluntarily expose yourself to the source of your fear. It might involve a therapy session where you open up to your partner about your condition and the thoughts you have.
For example, a person with OCD who is having intrusive, repetitive thoughts about dying might feel compelled to perform repeated safety checks. They repeatedly confirm that the front door is locked and the oven is turned off. While they might be aware that their fears are unrealistic, they still feel the need to combat them with these behaviors.
Relationship OCD, or ROCD, is one way that OCD can manifest. Instead of focusing on things like germs or physical safety, romantic relationships become the obsession. Someone with relationship OCD will experience intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors relating to their romantic partner.
They may be overwhelmed with fears that their partner doesn’t really love them or that the relationship won’t last. These fears lead them to carry out behaviors that bring them reassurance. This naturally causes a great deal of stress and strains the relationship.
This kind of ROCD features worries about the relationship itself. The person will question whether or not their partner really loves them, whether they really love their partner, and if the relationship will last.
This kind of ROCD focuses more on the romantic partner. Even though the person with OCD loves their partner, they continuously obsess over their characteristics and analyze their personality, intelligence, and appearance.
The main symptoms of relationship OCD are the various obsessions and compulsive behaviors surrounding the relationship. They vary from person to person, but the common factor is that they experience them in excess and struggle to manage them.
They are likely to ruminate over whether or not their partner really loves them, as well as whether or not they really love their partner. A constant stream of memories, images, and imagined scenarios parades through the mind to push the worst-case scenario. The smallest detail can throw everything into question.
A person with ROCD might exhibit excessive concern over their partner’s happiness or well-being. They constantly worry about whether or not they’re satisfied in the relationship, even when there’s no reason to think otherwise.
In addition to all of this internal turmoil, someone with ROCD will seek out reassurance from their partner that they are still loved and in love, and that the relationship is strong.
Even though they are looking for the impossible, i.e. a guarantee that they’re with the right person and will be forever, they will turn to the internet for comfort. This could mean reading articles about what a successful relationship looks like, or going on message boards.
They might also create rules in their heads for their partner. They decide that certain behaviors amount to a failure and serve as evidence that they aren’t loved or that the relationship isn’t worth it. For example, if their partner doesn’t text them within a certain time frame or give the 'correct' response.
While many of us have exhibited some of these behaviors at one time or another, that doesn’t mean we have OCD. In order to be diagnosed with OCD or relationship OCD, the symptoms have to be disruptive to the degree that they inhibit your ability to function and perform your normal activities.
As you can imagine, ROCD takes a serious toll on the relationship in question. Someone who knows they have it may feel ashamed of their symptoms and avoid getting into a romantic relationship in the first place.
They may try to hide their condition for fear of appearing undesirable or being rejected. It is especially difficult to open up to someone about such as disorder when the symptoms are focused on them. Naturally, it’s quite hard to hide, and the secrecy gets in the way of openness and intimacy in the relationship.
Relationship OCD is an extremely difficult and distressing condition, but once it’s recognized and diagnosed, there are treatments available that can help in the recovery and allow someone with ROCD to enjoy happy, healthy relationships.
Just like OCD, ROCD is most commonly treated with psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of the two.
In psychotherapy, the most common form of treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy. This kind of therapy teaches you to recognize, understand, and alter negative thought patterns and behaviors.
Relationship OCD can present itself in two different ways. Some people will just experience one type, while others will experience a mix of both.
A selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) is usually prescribed for the treatment of OCD, as well as many other conditions that cause anxiety or depression. However, medications cannot replace therapy.
The treatment plan should always be guided by a doctor or therapist, and ideally involve the support of loved ones. Family members and the romantic partner in question can all provide better assistance when they’re educated on ROCD. Joining a support group can also serve as a much-needed reminder that you are not alone.
The anxiety often focuses on the things that are most precious to us, which is why health and safety are some of the most common sources of concern for people with OCD. However, this can also manifest in fears about the people we cherish the most. Relationship OCD is just one of the many ways the condition can present itself. Having doubts about a relationship is an experience we can all relate to, but relationship OCD takes it beyond the bounds of logic or reason.
Intrigued? Click through the gallery to learn more about this tricky condition.
What is relationship OCD?
The symptoms of this condition might surprise you
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When most people think of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), they picture someone furiously washing their hands, or flicking the light switch on and off 10 times before they can leave a room. These behaviors are often used to portray the disorder in TV and film, and can be part of the reality for some people, but OCD is far more complex than that depiction.
The anxiety often focuses on the things that are most precious to us, which is why health and safety are some of the most common sources of concern for people with OCD. However, this can also manifest in fears about the people we cherish the most. Relationship OCD is just one of the many ways the condition can present itself. Having doubts about a relationship is an experience we can all relate to, but relationship OCD takes it beyond the bounds of logic or reason.
Intrigued? Click through the gallery to learn more about this tricky condition.