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Sometimes we have unspoken, or even unconscious expectations of others in our life. We might expect them to fill a void within us.
It's sad, but when you can't seem to make a good thing work, there are usually some very common reasons. Let's take a look at the main reasons why you can't find happily ever after, even with a good relationship.
It doesn't matter how strong your feelings are, or how committed you feel. If your communication with your partner is lacking, it spells trouble.
If you're not being authentic in your communication, don't expect to be surprised when your partner mistakes your intentions and arguments follow.
Blame and criticism push the burden of responsibility back onto one person, which isn't fair. One or both parties not taking responsibility will end an otherwise good relationship.
Taking care of our own needs and continuing to work on ourselves while living in partnership with another isn't always easy, but it's necessary for a healthy relationship.
Sometimes, and very often, this isn't conscious. Having lousy role models in childhood might not have been a choice, but how you choose to act now is.
It can mean punishing the good relationship in front of you because you begin to re-live the hurts of the past with the smallest trigger.
Lack of trust, being suspicious of other's motives, finding it difficult to move on from small hurts, treating arguments as the end of the world—these are some things we might carry from past negative experiences.
If we continue to repeat the cycle of poor communication we witnessed as children, it can have a detrimental effect on our adult relationships.
Relationships require an investment of time and energy. It's easy to take someone for granted when you get on well, but this can pollute the relationship quickly.
Over the years, we might have built up negative experiences in relationships. By the time we're in a good situation, we might harbor so much about the past that we bring it into the present.
Perhaps when growing up, you didn't have the best example of a healthy relationship. Now, you might find yourself repeating what you saw.
Without good communication, both people are living under an illusion of their own making. This, in turn, leads to disagreements and misunderstandings.
By a certain point in adulthood, we should have learned that our actions are responsible for a sizeable chunk of the reality we're living.
If you're expecting your partner to magically give you a supply of something you're not able to give yourself, the relationship might be doomed, no matter how good it is.
Breaking up is hard to do. It's even harder when you've found someone wonderful, but no matter how hard you try, it just doesn't seem to be working.
Without putting in an effort, even the best relationship can reach a point of no return. Relationships create an obligation to show up and be our best selves.
If we're running low on energy or time, it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves so we can show up fully for the people in our lives. Making an effort demonstrates that we care, and we value the relationship.
If you see disharmony as normal, you might torpedo a good relationship without realizing that's what you're doing. It takes work to bring this pattern into conscious awareness and to reprogram your mind to approach relationships differently.
Sometimes, we've got a war going on within ourselves. Unconsciously, we might externalize this onto the people around us.
What's actually happening is the different parts of ourselves are in conflict with each other and finding an outlet through the people closest to us. Inner conflicts, if not made conscious, can make your closest relationships turn toxic fast.
This negative subconscious belief can lead to seeking out conflict in order to feel safe or normal without being conscious that this is the reason.
Projecting our conflicts onto the people around us can leave them feeling abused as they don't understand why they're on the receiving end of accusations.
Depending on how we grew up, we might see disharmony as normal, even within the bounds of a "good" relationship. This can lead to unnecessary conflict.
When we are afraid of how others perceive us (and by extension, our partner), we might try to control our partner's behavior in order to feel safe.
Trying to pressure someone to change because their behavior isn't morally wrong, but something others or society might not approve of tells them that you don't accept them. Sadly, you might push away an otherwise healthy relationship.
Sources: (YourTango)
See also: Relationship tips for couples over 40
By trying to make our partner conform to an idea of "acceptable" based on other people's perceptions, we might push them away altogether.
It's never easy to walk away from a wonderful person you care about. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just aren't working. It's upsetting, and it might leave you feeling confused. It's hard to gain perspective from the inside; however, when you take a step back, you may realize there were signs that both of you needed to work on how you relate to a partner.
Curious? Click on the gallery to discover the main reasons why even a good relationship can come to an end.
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It's never easy to walk away from a wonderful person you care about. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just aren't working. It's upsetting, and it might leave you feeling confused. It's hard to gain perspective from the inside; however, when you take a step back, you may realize there were signs that both of you needed to work on how you relate to a partner.
Curious? Click on the gallery to discover the main reasons why even a good relationship can come to an end.