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According to attachment theory, there are four main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure. Broadly speaking, we all have one main attachment style, and it influences just about everything we do in our relationships. Well, the way that we communicate via text is no exception!
In fact, if you are not sure of your attachment style, looking at your texting habits can be a great way to get some clarity...
Curious? Check out this gallery to find out more.
If you are someone who spends a lot of time looking at their phone, you probably have your own texting habits.
Whether you are an immediate responder who sends paragraph-long messages, or a ‘left on read’ person who sometimes forgets to reply at all, everyone has their own style.
Unless someone’s texting behavior has caused an issue in some way, however, you may not have given the topic much thought.
However, it is worth taking some time to consider what your texting habits are, since they could very well be indicative of your attachment style.
A person’s attachment style influences their behavior in all different spheres of life, and digital communication is, unsurprisingly, no exception.
Attachment styles are formed during early childhood and they go on to influence how we interact with others for the rest of our adult lives.
Broadly speaking, there are four different attachment styles. The first is anxious attachment. People with this attachment style long for intimacy and closeness.
However, anxious attachment individuals often struggle to feel worthy of love, and this can lead to clingy and needy behavior.
At the other end of the spectrum, we have the avoidant attachment style. People in this category tend to push other people away due to a fear of intimacy and dependence.
The fearful-avoidant style blends elements of both the above attachment styles, resulting in behaviors that are often unpredictable.
And, finally, the secure attachment style. People in this category usually feel safe and stable in relationships, meaning that intimacy comes more easily.
As previously mentioned, there are certain texting behaviors that are indicative of each of the attachment styles.
For starters, people who have an anxious attachment style tend to text frequently and respond quickly, with the expectation that others do the same.
Anxious attachment people are often the first person to text, and it is not uncommon for them to send paragraph-long messages.
They spend a lot of time overanalyzing the other person’s response, and will often assume the worst if they don’t get the response they were expecting.
If you suspect you may be an anxious texter, try taking a deep breath and practice self-soothing techniques when the person you are texting does not immediately respond.
Try to set boundaries with yourself about how often you text, and remind yourself that your well-being and self-worth are not determined by the speed of anyone’s reply.
Avoidant texters are pretty much the opposite of anxious texters. Their style is minimal and sporadic, and often they will leave people on read for days.
When they do respond, the texts of an avoider will often feel matter-of-fact and distant. The conversation is very superficial.
It is very rare for an avoidant texter to initiate the conversation, and a lot of the time they delay their response because they are focused on their own life.
If you think you may be an avoidant texter, it is important to recognize that your habits can be hurtful to those closest to you.
It helps to set boundaries early on in a relationship. Let the other person know when you are busy, and explain your preferred texting rhythm so they know what to expect.
People who have a fearful-avoidant attachment style tend to have the most chaotic and unpredictable texting habits of the lot.
The communication pattern is often very inconsistent, swinging between irritating over-texting and complete radio silence.
If you think you may be a fearful-avoidant texter, try to bear in mind that your habits can be very confusing and overwhelming for the people you communicate with.
Swinging between extremes of intimacy and distance can be very exhausting, so it is best to pause to process any strong emotions that might be headed your way.
From there, you can practice crafting a more conscientious response, rather than acting impulsively.
Last but not least, we have the secure texters. People with this attachment style tend to be consistent, reliable, and clear communicators.
Sometimes, the texting habits of a secure attachment person can feel a little ‘boring’ to those who are more used to the chase.
However, if you are a secure texter, keep doing what you’re doing. After all, a secure attachment style is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Sources: (Verywell Mind)
What your texting habits reveal about your attachment style
What kind of texter are you?
LIFESTYLE Communication
According to attachment theory, there are four main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure. Broadly speaking, we all have one main attachment style, and it influences just about everything we do in our relationships. Well, the way that we communicate via text is no exception!
In fact, if you are not sure of your attachment style, looking at your texting habits can be a great way to get some clarity...
Curious? Check out this gallery to find out more.