And the difference in wages between male and female cops
This is a playful answer that is also best for people you’re not a fan of, as they will surely have ‘If you’re happy and you know it’ stuck in their heads all day!
The real humor to this is tinged with the stinging truth—one which most people can relate to—but if we can’t collectively laugh about it, then what else do we have?
Look around suspiciously and squint your eyes at them for added effect.
Squint your eyes and look suspiciously around as if you’re just waiting for someone to come and ruin your day—this works best around annoying colleagues or at family events.
We all are! What’s funnier than a little reminder of our imminent mortality, right? This one is wonderful at parties.
It’s the honesty around finding enjoyment in complaining that is definitely going to make the person giggle.
Lean in as if you’re about to tell them some juicy gossip, and after you tell them you’re doing amazing, you can say, “But you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”
This one works best in a sexy tone, and it’s a great way to break the ice with a joke (or fire things up right away).
Think about it for a moment and then even turn and walk away. Leave ‘em guessing.
Make them really consider what they’re so casually asking—there’s nothing like taking a simple question way too seriously.
It’s childish, sure, but it’s also unexpected enough that it’s certain to get a laugh.
You can also say it’s against company policy if you’re talking to a coworker.
You have a number of routes you can go here, but the stranger the explanation, the better, i.e. “I died last week and everyone’s been looking right through me…”
Making the usual bland interaction into a kind of game with a hint of competition is a great way to put a refreshing spin on it.
The small question they thought they were asking is now an enormous secret for privileged ears only.
Give them a wink or some raised eyebrows to really leave them confused.
The juxtaposition of cynicism with a big smile on your face will surely get a laugh.
Best asked in the accent of an Italian mobster henchman.
The formality of this response is so hilariously jarring that you’ll leave them stunned before they erupt in laughter.
It’s pretty valuable information and you should be paid accordingly!
Then add, “But...I like you too much so I'll spare you.”
When they predictably shoot you a look of concern, let them know you just had a routine checkup and everything was fine.
A little eye twitch goes a long way with this bit!
This one’s sure to impress the brainier people, because we are, of course, all biased when we ourselves assess how we are.
This is a fantastic answer for almost any question you don’t want to respond to.
Say it with a big smile on your face and they’ll never see the ending coming.
Because we all know that some of life’s most dazzling pleasures are usually illicit.
This one is best to use with people you are comfortable with, whom you know are asking you as a way to start a conversation to ask for something.
Sources: (PairedLife) (StyleCraze)
See also: Hilarious pickup lines that will at least get you a laugh
You’ll get more of a nervous giggle than a laugh at this one, but it still counts.
The question “How are you?” can be so pure on its own, but over time and extensive use it has become something of a mindless greeting, often met with the equally mindless response, “I’m fine, and you?” Sometimes that response comes from feeling that the other person isn't looking for a real answer, and sometimes it's because people don't want to go around telling just anyone how they really are. But if you're not interested in telling the truth, then instead of blasé interactions you can still subvert people’s expectations and give them a response that they’ll laugh about for days!
Click through to see some of the wittiest, silliest, and cleverest responses to the ubiquitous question that will spice up your dreaded small talk.
Responses to "how are you" are so much better than "fine"
Witty replies that are sure to get a laugh!
LIFESTYLE Funny
The question “How are you?” can be so pure on its own, but over time and extensive use it has become something of a mindless greeting, often met with the equally mindless response, “I’m fine, and you?” Sometimes that response comes from feeling that the other person isn't looking for a real answer, and sometimes it's because people don't want to go around telling just anyone how they really are. But if you're not interested in telling the truth, then instead of blasé interactions you can still subvert people’s expectations and give them a response that they’ll laugh about for days!
Click through to see some of the wittiest, silliest, and cleverest responses to the ubiquitous question that will spice up your dreaded small talk.