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Much of our life is dictated by our unconscious mind. It might be hard to believe, but certain thoughts and decisions are so automatic we might not even realize that we've made them. Some of these are helpful, helping us to meet the demands of our daily life and routine. But they can also have a powerful effect on the shape of our lives, sabotaging our happiness in the short and long term.
Click on the gallery to explore some of the most common unconscious decisions that can impact your happiness, as well as ways to bring them into your awareness so you can make a change.
Perhaps you've been longing to take a trip somewhere or visit a long-distance friend, but your unconscious says, "It's not that important."
If you have the urge to do something, repressing it by trying to convince yourself it's not really that important will backfire when those emotions come back to the surface.
Sometimes we have an unconscious need to feel needed, or capable, which fuels taking on more than we can handle in practice.
Overcommitting at work due to people-pleasing tendencies or a need for validation can lead to stress and anxiety, which sabotages well-being and happiness.
While no one is encouraging people to spend recklessly (and buying things to give your self-esteem a boost isn't viable in the long-term), everyone deserves to splurge from time to time.
If you are constantly scrimping and saving, without cutting yourself any slack, it can really take a toll on your happiness. A little treat that's within your budget can be good for you.
Perhaps you've got the journey of a lifetime on your mind, you'd like to return to education, or move somewhere new. If you have this desire, it's probably not going anywhere.
But if you keep putting whatever is tugging at your heartstrings off, telling yourself, "I'll do it next year," but it never happens, it can sabotage your enjoyment of life and your happiness.
This unconscious belief that "I'm not good enough" means that when you compare yourself to others, you feel you don't measure up.
This can cause you to give up on your projects before they're complete, which in turn sabotages your happiness in the long run. Let where you're at be enough.
Once our basic survival necessities are met, we do not technically "need" many things. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the frivolities of life.
Taking an impromptu road trip, attending a concert, or trying a new nearby restaurant aren't things you'll survive without. But it's ok to enjoy them anyway.
In personal relationships, our unconscious behavioral patterns play out. They become most obvious during conflict, especially when we argue with those closest to us.
If someone betrays your trust and you decide to forgive them but continue to hold onto resentment, this will taint your ability to feel happiness over time.
Telling yourself, "I don't like change," is setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness, unfortunately. It's usually because they need routine to feel secure.
However, the uncertainty caused by change is necessary for growth. Being pushed out of your comfort zone is harder the more you resist it.
What's worse than deciding you cannot succeed before you even begin? If you self-sabotage this way, it has a big impact on your happiness.
Humans are in a constant state of change and movement. Give yourself permission to be a beginner at something new and take things slowly. You might just find a hobby or pastime that brings your life deeper meaning.
Are you a slave to productivity? It's held up as one of the greatest virtues of the modern age. But the constant quest to be productive can leave you burned out and exhausted.
Making time for things that are "unproductive"—such as reading a fiction novel, watching a new TV show, or enjoying a night of revelry with friends, can help you recharge and feel much better than you did before.
Do you regularly find yourself turning down invitations from friends, opportunities to attend new events, or try a class because "I'm too busy"?
If there is absolutely no room in your life for spontaneity, it can really sabotage your happiness. There's usually a good reason why something has sparked your interest and the small joys of life are worth making time for.
The problem with unconscious decisions is... they're unconscious! A lot of the time, we don't realize why we keep repeating the same patterns in life.
The first step to breaking free from these unconscious beliefs and decisions is to build awareness about what we're doing and why we're doing it on a day-to-day basis.
A practice like daily journaling can help you to examine your actions (or inactions) and to go deeper, examining the thoughts and emotions driving them.
For others, sitting in stillness can help to gain insight. Meditation helps to create a dialogue between the conscious and unconscious parts of the mind.
As meditation reveals the unconscious, some people find it highly effective in helping to break behavioral patterns that were automatic in the past.
If you need help addressing your happiness-sabotaging tendencies and don't know where to begin, it might be useful to talk to someone.
After bringing these unconscious decisions to the surface, you can commit to working on your happiness long-term. It's a journey!
Sources: (YourTango) (Verywell Mind)
See also: Insights from the most extensive study on happiness
Unconscious decisions that sabotage your happiness
Thoughts and beliefs cutting you off from contentment
LIFESTYLE Bad choices
Much of our life is dictated by our unconscious mind. It might be hard to believe, but certain thoughts and decisions are so automatic we might not even realize that we've made them. Some of these are helpful, helping us to meet the demands of our daily life and routine. But they can also have a powerful effect on the shape of our lives, sabotaging our happiness in the short and long term.
Click on the gallery to explore some of the most common unconscious decisions that can impact your happiness, as well as ways to bring them into your awareness so you can make a change.