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See Again
© Shutterstock
0 / 34 Fotos
Interrupting people who are sitting alone
- This is particularly true if the solo person is reading, eating, or with earphones in. Just because a person is alone doesn’t mean they want company, and joining them out of pity is the worst.
© Shutterstock
1 / 34 Fotos
Unsolicited parenting advice
- Most new parents know that strangers are all too happy to give unsolicited advice about pregnancy and parenting, but these strangers genuinely believe it’s a nice thing to do.
© Shutterstock
2 / 34 Fotos
Ending every sentence in exclamations
- Why are you yelling in people’s heads to be nice?! Not feeling comfortable to end sentences with periods is strange!
© Shutterstock
3 / 34 Fotos
Going into work sick to finish a project
- Even if you have a deadline and a team relying on you, going into work sick—especially in this day and age—will be appreciated by no one.
© Shutterstock
4 / 34 Fotos
Setting up single friends
- Unless a single person asks to be set up, it’s likely they’re not going to be too pleased when someone takes the liberty of ambushing them with a potential date. It might seem like a nice thing, but perhaps they actually want to be single.
© Shutterstock
5 / 34 Fotos
Saying "whatever you want" instead of having an opinion
- Saying “whatever you want” and letting someone else pick the place to go for dinner, for example, then showing up and just having fries because you don’t like that type of food isn’t actually nice. It would be much more enjoyable to find a place everyone likes.
© Shutterstock
6 / 34 Fotos
Complimenting someone's weight
- While it might seem like it’s celebrating someone’s appearance in a positive way, it’s actually very triggering for people and is best to be avoided. Try complimenting the way they’re glowing instead of demonstrating to them that you’re noticing their body shape before anything else.
© Shutterstock
7 / 34 Fotos
Pointing out that someone is quiet
- While it might seem like a nice way to bring someone into the conversation, the quiet people in groups are usually the ones who would also be mortified to be called out for being quiet. They’re not drawing attention to themselves for a reason.
© Shutterstock
8 / 34 Fotos
Insisting on giving someone something after they say no
- Perhaps the idea is that they’re just being polite when declining the food or drink, but even if they are, let them work up the courage to ask. It’s more likely they just genuinely don’t want it.
© Shutterstock
9 / 34 Fotos
Trauma competitions
- When someone is going through a hard time and other people share their own hardships, the intention might be to show empathy, but the effect often feels like they're being one-upped. In times of difficulty, most people just need someone to listen, not to make their struggles feel small in comparison.
© Shutterstock
10 / 34 Fotos
Announcing other people’s dietary restrictions
- Maybe someone is trying to go vegan but they decide to treat themselves with a cheesy dish; having someone announce, “Wait, you can’t eat that!” isn’t helpful. Other people’s diets are not anyone else’s to manage.
© Shutterstock
11 / 34 Fotos
Giving directions when you’re not sure
- When someone asks for directions and you send them off in the way you suspect is right, it might feel like the nice thing to do, but you could be saving them a lot of time if you direct them instead to someone who does know.
© Shutterstock
12 / 34 Fotos
Asking someone to smile
- If you think about it, asking someone to smile isn’t really out of care for their emotions but rather for your own comfort. Beyond the fact that you never know what someone is going through, telling them to smile is hardly the way to improve their mood.
© Shutterstock
13 / 34 Fotos
Being called sweetheart, honey, etc.
- This is when it’s in the wrong context and from the wrong people. If your partner or parent uses these terms of endearment, it’s a much different effect than if your colleague or a professional is using them.
© Shutterstock
14 / 34 Fotos
Asking someone who’s obviously not okay if they’re okay
- If someone is visibly suffering, maybe they’re having a coughing fit or they’re on the verge of tears, it’s a knee-jerk reaction to ask if they’re okay, but it’s not helpful. Instead, getting some water or asking if they’d like to talk about it are better options.
© Shutterstock
15 / 34 Fotos
Not telling someone they have food in their teeth
- Maybe you don’t want to embarrass them, but if you don’t tell them, they might go into an important meeting later and have a much more embarrassing time than if you told them in private.
© Shutterstock
16 / 34 Fotos
Pedestrians telling drivers to pass
- Pedestrians have the right of way, so it’s actually not helpful when they wave cars on and usually it ends up in both parties just waiting and hesitating unnecessarily long.
© Shutterstock
17 / 34 Fotos
Drivers telling pedestrians to cross the road when not at a crosswalk
- If a pedestrian is trying to cross the road without a crosswalk, a driver slowing to wave them across is actually extremely dangerous because for all they know there could be another car approaching that could hit them when trying to overtake the car stopped in the middle of the road.
© Shutterstock
18 / 34 Fotos
Telling people not to worry
- We’re all guilty of saying this, and on some few occasions it can feel comforting, but usually it just feels like one is dismissing, diminishing, and invalidating the subject of worry.
© Shutterstock
19 / 34 Fotos
Holding doors open prematurely
- It’s just an awkward situation for everyone involved, and will often pressure the person to do a little jog to get through the door faster.
© Shutterstock
20 / 34 Fotos
Persisting in romantic encounters
- Hollywood has instilled this idea that persistence is a good thing when pursuing a partner, but it can actually be quite offensive—especially if the only time you back off is when the person says they’re “taken,” as if their own “no” wasn’t enough.
© Shutterstock
21 / 34 Fotos
Giving someone a bunch of old clothes
- Sometimes this can be a fantastic way to refresh friends’ and family members’ wardrobes without spending a dime, but the recipients of these unasked for donations know that most of those items end up clogging their closets.
© Shutterstock
22 / 34 Fotos
Trying to convert someone’s beliefs
- From inside any religion, the grass usually seems greener where you are, but trying to convince other people of that even if it’s genuinely for their sake will almost always come off as annoying and offensive.
© Shutterstock
23 / 34 Fotos
Touching the lower back to get by
- This unnecessary touching is often perpetrated by men moving past women and is usually surprising in a bad way. If you need to get by, the best way is to say “Excuse me” instead of intimately touching a stranger’s lower back.
© Shutterstock
24 / 34 Fotos
Forcing someone to go out
- Some people don’t regard a night in as something rejuvenating and exciting, and so they’ll pressure people to go out as if they’re doing them a favor. Most of the time, however, the choice to stay in is one that the person knows they need.
© Shutterstock
25 / 34 Fotos
Completing tasks for someone without telling them
- While this can sometimes be a nice surprise, ranging in locations from the kitchen to the workplace, it’s more often the case that the person whose task it was originally had a plan and a specific way to complete it, and now their work is wasted. Even worse, they might feel frustrated that the tasks weren’t completed in the way they wanted.
© Shutterstock
26 / 34 Fotos
Telling curly-haired people you like their straight hair better
- Just as straight-haired people curl their hair, sometimes curly-haired people will straighten their hair to switch things up. But telling someone you like their artificially straight hair better than their natural look is actually quite harmful and feeds into old prejudices surrounding natural textures.
© Shutterstock
27 / 34 Fotos
Lying about liking something
- If someone gives you something or asks you to do an activity with them and you lie about liking it, not only are you setting yourself up for more of what you don’t like, but it’s also not fair to the other person who is probably trying to foster a genuine connection.
© Shutterstock
28 / 34 Fotos
Not correcting someone
- Maybe it’s someone using a word they shouldn't or spewing an incorrect and offensive opinion that shouldn't be repeated. In any case, staying silent because you want to be “nice” is not helping them at all.
© Shutterstock
29 / 34 Fotos
Telling a woman she’s different from other women
- Though it seems like a compliment on the surface, this woman is now going to have to find out what it is you really think about women at large and why she is the exception.
© Shutterstock
30 / 34 Fotos
Overwhelming love and affection early on in the relationship
- Showing huge amounts of affection and attention to someone really early on in a relationship can be viewed as a nice and open thing, but it has also become known as love bombing because it often leads to an unhealthy relationship that makes the other person feel obligated to you.
© Shutterstock
31 / 34 Fotos
Leading someone to believe you like them
- Being vague about your feelings just because you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings might feel easy in the moment, but it’s going to be harder for you both as their feelings progress.
© Shutterstock
32 / 34 Fotos
Not sharing valid critique
- If someone shows you something they’re working on or you’re having a meeting at work and you have a valid critique but don’t want to share it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, consider that you’re actually hurting them more in the long run. Sources: (Thought Catalog) (Bustle)
© Shutterstock
33 / 34 Fotos
© Shutterstock
0 / 34 Fotos
Interrupting people who are sitting alone
- This is particularly true if the solo person is reading, eating, or with earphones in. Just because a person is alone doesn’t mean they want company, and joining them out of pity is the worst.
© Shutterstock
1 / 34 Fotos
Unsolicited parenting advice
- Most new parents know that strangers are all too happy to give unsolicited advice about pregnancy and parenting, but these strangers genuinely believe it’s a nice thing to do.
© Shutterstock
2 / 34 Fotos
Ending every sentence in exclamations
- Why are you yelling in people’s heads to be nice?! Not feeling comfortable to end sentences with periods is strange!
© Shutterstock
3 / 34 Fotos
Going into work sick to finish a project
- Even if you have a deadline and a team relying on you, going into work sick—especially in this day and age—will be appreciated by no one.
© Shutterstock
4 / 34 Fotos
Setting up single friends
- Unless a single person asks to be set up, it’s likely they’re not going to be too pleased when someone takes the liberty of ambushing them with a potential date. It might seem like a nice thing, but perhaps they actually want to be single.
© Shutterstock
5 / 34 Fotos
Saying "whatever you want" instead of having an opinion
- Saying “whatever you want” and letting someone else pick the place to go for dinner, for example, then showing up and just having fries because you don’t like that type of food isn’t actually nice. It would be much more enjoyable to find a place everyone likes.
© Shutterstock
6 / 34 Fotos
Complimenting someone's weight
- While it might seem like it’s celebrating someone’s appearance in a positive way, it’s actually very triggering for people and is best to be avoided. Try complimenting the way they’re glowing instead of demonstrating to them that you’re noticing their body shape before anything else.
© Shutterstock
7 / 34 Fotos
Pointing out that someone is quiet
- While it might seem like a nice way to bring someone into the conversation, the quiet people in groups are usually the ones who would also be mortified to be called out for being quiet. They’re not drawing attention to themselves for a reason.
© Shutterstock
8 / 34 Fotos
Insisting on giving someone something after they say no
- Perhaps the idea is that they’re just being polite when declining the food or drink, but even if they are, let them work up the courage to ask. It’s more likely they just genuinely don’t want it.
© Shutterstock
9 / 34 Fotos
Trauma competitions
- When someone is going through a hard time and other people share their own hardships, the intention might be to show empathy, but the effect often feels like they're being one-upped. In times of difficulty, most people just need someone to listen, not to make their struggles feel small in comparison.
© Shutterstock
10 / 34 Fotos
Announcing other people’s dietary restrictions
- Maybe someone is trying to go vegan but they decide to treat themselves with a cheesy dish; having someone announce, “Wait, you can’t eat that!” isn’t helpful. Other people’s diets are not anyone else’s to manage.
© Shutterstock
11 / 34 Fotos
Giving directions when you’re not sure
- When someone asks for directions and you send them off in the way you suspect is right, it might feel like the nice thing to do, but you could be saving them a lot of time if you direct them instead to someone who does know.
© Shutterstock
12 / 34 Fotos
Asking someone to smile
- If you think about it, asking someone to smile isn’t really out of care for their emotions but rather for your own comfort. Beyond the fact that you never know what someone is going through, telling them to smile is hardly the way to improve their mood.
© Shutterstock
13 / 34 Fotos
Being called sweetheart, honey, etc.
- This is when it’s in the wrong context and from the wrong people. If your partner or parent uses these terms of endearment, it’s a much different effect than if your colleague or a professional is using them.
© Shutterstock
14 / 34 Fotos
Asking someone who’s obviously not okay if they’re okay
- If someone is visibly suffering, maybe they’re having a coughing fit or they’re on the verge of tears, it’s a knee-jerk reaction to ask if they’re okay, but it’s not helpful. Instead, getting some water or asking if they’d like to talk about it are better options.
© Shutterstock
15 / 34 Fotos
Not telling someone they have food in their teeth
- Maybe you don’t want to embarrass them, but if you don’t tell them, they might go into an important meeting later and have a much more embarrassing time than if you told them in private.
© Shutterstock
16 / 34 Fotos
Pedestrians telling drivers to pass
- Pedestrians have the right of way, so it’s actually not helpful when they wave cars on and usually it ends up in both parties just waiting and hesitating unnecessarily long.
© Shutterstock
17 / 34 Fotos
Drivers telling pedestrians to cross the road when not at a crosswalk
- If a pedestrian is trying to cross the road without a crosswalk, a driver slowing to wave them across is actually extremely dangerous because for all they know there could be another car approaching that could hit them when trying to overtake the car stopped in the middle of the road.
© Shutterstock
18 / 34 Fotos
Telling people not to worry
- We’re all guilty of saying this, and on some few occasions it can feel comforting, but usually it just feels like one is dismissing, diminishing, and invalidating the subject of worry.
© Shutterstock
19 / 34 Fotos
Holding doors open prematurely
- It’s just an awkward situation for everyone involved, and will often pressure the person to do a little jog to get through the door faster.
© Shutterstock
20 / 34 Fotos
Persisting in romantic encounters
- Hollywood has instilled this idea that persistence is a good thing when pursuing a partner, but it can actually be quite offensive—especially if the only time you back off is when the person says they’re “taken,” as if their own “no” wasn’t enough.
© Shutterstock
21 / 34 Fotos
Giving someone a bunch of old clothes
- Sometimes this can be a fantastic way to refresh friends’ and family members’ wardrobes without spending a dime, but the recipients of these unasked for donations know that most of those items end up clogging their closets.
© Shutterstock
22 / 34 Fotos
Trying to convert someone’s beliefs
- From inside any religion, the grass usually seems greener where you are, but trying to convince other people of that even if it’s genuinely for their sake will almost always come off as annoying and offensive.
© Shutterstock
23 / 34 Fotos
Touching the lower back to get by
- This unnecessary touching is often perpetrated by men moving past women and is usually surprising in a bad way. If you need to get by, the best way is to say “Excuse me” instead of intimately touching a stranger’s lower back.
© Shutterstock
24 / 34 Fotos
Forcing someone to go out
- Some people don’t regard a night in as something rejuvenating and exciting, and so they’ll pressure people to go out as if they’re doing them a favor. Most of the time, however, the choice to stay in is one that the person knows they need.
© Shutterstock
25 / 34 Fotos
Completing tasks for someone without telling them
- While this can sometimes be a nice surprise, ranging in locations from the kitchen to the workplace, it’s more often the case that the person whose task it was originally had a plan and a specific way to complete it, and now their work is wasted. Even worse, they might feel frustrated that the tasks weren’t completed in the way they wanted.
© Shutterstock
26 / 34 Fotos
Telling curly-haired people you like their straight hair better
- Just as straight-haired people curl their hair, sometimes curly-haired people will straighten their hair to switch things up. But telling someone you like their artificially straight hair better than their natural look is actually quite harmful and feeds into old prejudices surrounding natural textures.
© Shutterstock
27 / 34 Fotos
Lying about liking something
- If someone gives you something or asks you to do an activity with them and you lie about liking it, not only are you setting yourself up for more of what you don’t like, but it’s also not fair to the other person who is probably trying to foster a genuine connection.
© Shutterstock
28 / 34 Fotos
Not correcting someone
- Maybe it’s someone using a word they shouldn't or spewing an incorrect and offensive opinion that shouldn't be repeated. In any case, staying silent because you want to be “nice” is not helping them at all.
© Shutterstock
29 / 34 Fotos
Telling a woman she’s different from other women
- Though it seems like a compliment on the surface, this woman is now going to have to find out what it is you really think about women at large and why she is the exception.
© Shutterstock
30 / 34 Fotos
Overwhelming love and affection early on in the relationship
- Showing huge amounts of affection and attention to someone really early on in a relationship can be viewed as a nice and open thing, but it has also become known as love bombing because it often leads to an unhealthy relationship that makes the other person feel obligated to you.
© Shutterstock
31 / 34 Fotos
Leading someone to believe you like them
- Being vague about your feelings just because you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings might feel easy in the moment, but it’s going to be harder for you both as their feelings progress.
© Shutterstock
32 / 34 Fotos
Not sharing valid critique
- If someone shows you something they’re working on or you’re having a meeting at work and you have a valid critique but don’t want to share it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, consider that you’re actually hurting them more in the long run. Sources: (Thought Catalog) (Bustle)
© Shutterstock
33 / 34 Fotos
Common behaviors that seem 'nice' but annoy others
So-called sweet gestures and phrases that leave actually rub us the wrong way
© Shutterstock
It's a wonderful thing that we all (hopefully) try to be nice to other people. But there comes a point where niceness slides into nuisance, and sometimes the line can be hard to perceive.
The reason is usually because when we're doing things we think are nice, we're doing precisely that: what we
think is nice, as opposed to considering what is actually best or what the other person genuinely needs/wants. And we all know how it feels to be on the opposite end, receiving the kind gestures of other people that are actually quite annoying, causing more work for us and forcing us to pretend to be grateful.
Click through to see the "nice" things that really just aren't!
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