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0 / 31 Fotos
Defining the term - When it comes to the No Contact rule, the clue is really in the name. It involves breaking off all communication with your ex following a breakup.
© Shutterstock
1 / 31 Fotos
Scope
- Cutting off all communication includes phone calls, texts, direct messages and likes on social media, as well as in-person meetups.
© Shutterstock
2 / 31 Fotos
Scope - Adhering strictly to the No Contact rule also means not following up with mutual friends and asking leading questions about your ex.
© Shutterstock
3 / 31 Fotos
Exceptions - Of course, there are some situations in which a clean break is not possible. For example, if you work with your ex or have children together.
© Shutterstock
4 / 31 Fotos
Exceptions - In this case, the next best option is to establish minimal contact. Work out which conversations you are comfortable having and set boundaries about the time you spend together.
© Shutterstock
5 / 31 Fotos
Benefits
- Although it is difficult, there are proven benefits to following the No Contact rule. Firstly, it allows you the space you need to get over the breakup.
© Shutterstock
6 / 31 Fotos
Avoid constant reminders
- It can be very difficult to process the loss and grief of a recent relationship if you are constantly reminding yourself of it by thinking of the other person.
© Shutterstock
7 / 31 Fotos
The journey to acceptance - Following the No Contact rule allows you the space you need to process those emotions in a healthy way and eventually accept the relationship is over.
© Shutterstock
8 / 31 Fotos
Going back
- The No Contact rule can also help prevent you from sliding back into the relationship, which creates confusing emotions and ultimately prolongs the pain.
© Shutterstock
9 / 31 Fotos
Tough but worth it
- Although it can be difficult to respect the hard boundary in the beginning, over time you’ll find it is the best way to move on with your life.
© Shutterstock
10 / 31 Fotos
No mean feat
- Despite its obvious benefits, the No Contact rule is no walk in the park. It can be very difficult to untangle your life from someone else’s, even if you were only together for a short time.
© Shutterstock
11 / 31 Fotos
Resisting the urge
- At some point, you will have a strong urge to reach out to your ex, and it is important that you resist. Luckily, there are some tactics you can use to help.
© Shutterstock
12 / 31 Fotos
Journaling - First up is writing your thoughts down. Each time you are tempted to text your ex or drop a like on their new Instagram pic, pick up a journal instead.
© iStock
13 / 31 Fotos
Journaling
- Write down your thoughts and feelings and allow the very process of writing to help you deal with your emotions in a healthier way.
© Shutterstock
14 / 31 Fotos
Lean on friends
- It is also a good idea to spend time with friends. Connecting with others socially is an important way for us to deal with difficult periods in our lives.
© Shutterstock
15 / 31 Fotos
Lean on friends
- Speak to your friends and ask whether they would be happy for you to reach out for a chat if ever you are feeling like getting back in contact with your ex.
© Shutterstock
16 / 31 Fotos
Find a new hobby - Getting over a breakup is also a great time to take up a new hobby. After all, what better time is there to reinvest in yourself?
© Shutterstock
17 / 31 Fotos
Find a new hobby - Think about what you enjoy doing and things you’ve always wanted to try, and don’t be afraid to dive into new hobbies that will bring you satisfaction and joy.
© Shutterstock
18 / 31 Fotos
Keep your phone out of reach
- It is also a good idea to keep your phone out of physical reach whenever you do not actively need to use it.
© Shutterstock
19 / 31 Fotos
Keep your phone out of reach
- We all tend to reach for our phones when we’re bored, and it's while scrolling mindlessly that those ideas about texting the ex start to creep into our heads.
© Shutterstock
20 / 31 Fotos
Self-reflection
- Finally, you might take some time to work out exactly what triggers the urge to contact your ex. Think about what you hope to gain from establishing that contact.
© Shutterstock
21 / 31 Fotos
Self-reflection
- Of course, there may not be a clear answer. Even if that’s the case, however, just asking yourself the question can help you better understand your process.
© Shutterstock
22 / 31 Fotos
If you slip up
- Sticking to the No Contact rule is difficult, and many people break it at least once during the process. If that happens to you, don’t worry.
© Shutterstock
23 / 31 Fotos
Practice self-compassion
- Be kind and patient with yourself; remind yourself that healing is a process and just because you slipped up once it does not mean the work has gone to waste.
© Shutterstock
24 / 31 Fotos
Top tip
- If you are really struggling to stick with it, you could try changing your ex’s name in your phone to something off-putting.
© Shutterstock
25 / 31 Fotos
Top tip
- Try and go for something that will remind you exactly what you are doing every time you pull up their contact to message or call them!
© Shutterstock
26 / 31 Fotos
Getting back in touch
- In terms of how long to follow the No Contact rule, every relationship is different. In many cases, people realize there is no need for them ever to contact their ex again.
© Shutterstock
27 / 31 Fotos
Getting back in touch
- In other situations, for example if you still have a lot of mutual friends, there may be a compelling reason to reestablish contact once the dust has settled.
© Shutterstock
28 / 31 Fotos
A specific time frame
- If you are looking for a specific time frame, experts recommend between three to six months. Studies have shown that people start to feel better around the three-month mark.
© Shutterstock
29 / 31 Fotos
Exception
- If the relationship was toxic or abusive, however, it is advisable never to reconnect with your ex, since this can restart the cycle of abuse. Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Cosmopolitan) See also: What exactly is a cat lady?
© Shutterstock
30 / 31 Fotos
© Shutterstock
0 / 31 Fotos
Defining the term - When it comes to the No Contact rule, the clue is really in the name. It involves breaking off all communication with your ex following a breakup.
© Shutterstock
1 / 31 Fotos
Scope
- Cutting off all communication includes phone calls, texts, direct messages and likes on social media, as well as in-person meetups.
© Shutterstock
2 / 31 Fotos
Scope - Adhering strictly to the No Contact rule also means not following up with mutual friends and asking leading questions about your ex.
© Shutterstock
3 / 31 Fotos
Exceptions - Of course, there are some situations in which a clean break is not possible. For example, if you work with your ex or have children together.
© Shutterstock
4 / 31 Fotos
Exceptions - In this case, the next best option is to establish minimal contact. Work out which conversations you are comfortable having and set boundaries about the time you spend together.
© Shutterstock
5 / 31 Fotos
Benefits
- Although it is difficult, there are proven benefits to following the No Contact rule. Firstly, it allows you the space you need to get over the breakup.
© Shutterstock
6 / 31 Fotos
Avoid constant reminders
- It can be very difficult to process the loss and grief of a recent relationship if you are constantly reminding yourself of it by thinking of the other person.
© Shutterstock
7 / 31 Fotos
The journey to acceptance - Following the No Contact rule allows you the space you need to process those emotions in a healthy way and eventually accept the relationship is over.
© Shutterstock
8 / 31 Fotos
Going back
- The No Contact rule can also help prevent you from sliding back into the relationship, which creates confusing emotions and ultimately prolongs the pain.
© Shutterstock
9 / 31 Fotos
Tough but worth it
- Although it can be difficult to respect the hard boundary in the beginning, over time you’ll find it is the best way to move on with your life.
© Shutterstock
10 / 31 Fotos
No mean feat
- Despite its obvious benefits, the No Contact rule is no walk in the park. It can be very difficult to untangle your life from someone else’s, even if you were only together for a short time.
© Shutterstock
11 / 31 Fotos
Resisting the urge
- At some point, you will have a strong urge to reach out to your ex, and it is important that you resist. Luckily, there are some tactics you can use to help.
© Shutterstock
12 / 31 Fotos
Journaling - First up is writing your thoughts down. Each time you are tempted to text your ex or drop a like on their new Instagram pic, pick up a journal instead.
© iStock
13 / 31 Fotos
Journaling
- Write down your thoughts and feelings and allow the very process of writing to help you deal with your emotions in a healthier way.
© Shutterstock
14 / 31 Fotos
Lean on friends
- It is also a good idea to spend time with friends. Connecting with others socially is an important way for us to deal with difficult periods in our lives.
© Shutterstock
15 / 31 Fotos
Lean on friends
- Speak to your friends and ask whether they would be happy for you to reach out for a chat if ever you are feeling like getting back in contact with your ex.
© Shutterstock
16 / 31 Fotos
Find a new hobby - Getting over a breakup is also a great time to take up a new hobby. After all, what better time is there to reinvest in yourself?
© Shutterstock
17 / 31 Fotos
Find a new hobby - Think about what you enjoy doing and things you’ve always wanted to try, and don’t be afraid to dive into new hobbies that will bring you satisfaction and joy.
© Shutterstock
18 / 31 Fotos
Keep your phone out of reach
- It is also a good idea to keep your phone out of physical reach whenever you do not actively need to use it.
© Shutterstock
19 / 31 Fotos
Keep your phone out of reach
- We all tend to reach for our phones when we’re bored, and it's while scrolling mindlessly that those ideas about texting the ex start to creep into our heads.
© Shutterstock
20 / 31 Fotos
Self-reflection
- Finally, you might take some time to work out exactly what triggers the urge to contact your ex. Think about what you hope to gain from establishing that contact.
© Shutterstock
21 / 31 Fotos
Self-reflection
- Of course, there may not be a clear answer. Even if that’s the case, however, just asking yourself the question can help you better understand your process.
© Shutterstock
22 / 31 Fotos
If you slip up
- Sticking to the No Contact rule is difficult, and many people break it at least once during the process. If that happens to you, don’t worry.
© Shutterstock
23 / 31 Fotos
Practice self-compassion
- Be kind and patient with yourself; remind yourself that healing is a process and just because you slipped up once it does not mean the work has gone to waste.
© Shutterstock
24 / 31 Fotos
Top tip
- If you are really struggling to stick with it, you could try changing your ex’s name in your phone to something off-putting.
© Shutterstock
25 / 31 Fotos
Top tip
- Try and go for something that will remind you exactly what you are doing every time you pull up their contact to message or call them!
© Shutterstock
26 / 31 Fotos
Getting back in touch
- In terms of how long to follow the No Contact rule, every relationship is different. In many cases, people realize there is no need for them ever to contact their ex again.
© Shutterstock
27 / 31 Fotos
Getting back in touch
- In other situations, for example if you still have a lot of mutual friends, there may be a compelling reason to reestablish contact once the dust has settled.
© Shutterstock
28 / 31 Fotos
A specific time frame
- If you are looking for a specific time frame, experts recommend between three to six months. Studies have shown that people start to feel better around the three-month mark.
© Shutterstock
29 / 31 Fotos
Exception
- If the relationship was toxic or abusive, however, it is advisable never to reconnect with your ex, since this can restart the cycle of abuse. Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Cosmopolitan) See also: What exactly is a cat lady?
© Shutterstock
30 / 31 Fotos
The "No Contact" rule and why it works
Why you should cut off all contact with your ex
© Shutterstock
There's no getting around it: breakups are tough. Whether you've been with someone for six months or six years, it is very difficult to untangle your life from someone else's; it inevitably brings up a wealth of difficult emotions. Well, there are lots of theories out there about what is the best way to move on from a relationship, and to a large extent it depends on the individual. For many people, however, following the No Contact rule is a great place to start.
Curious? Check out this gallery to learn more.
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