What is 'lovebombing' and are you guilty of it?

Questions to ask your inner narcissist

What is 'lovebombing' and are you guilty of it?
Stars Insider

30/11/18 | StarsInsider

LIFESTYLE Relationships

Nearly everyone has been in a relationship that has moved far more quickly than normal, and maybe you've also been guilty of speeding things along. It turns out there's a term used by therapists to refer to someone being overly affectionate in the early stages of a relationship, and it's called "lovebombing."

According to Tonic, lovebombing is a way of controlling people by giving them what they want and telling them what they want to hear. It's commonly used by people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is characterized by a constant need for praise and an inability to handle disappointment or criticism.

Though the disorder is reportedly quite rare, exhibited by less than one percent of the general population, the surge in dating websites and apps have made it easier to curb rejection by swiping to the next person that will accept your advances.

If you're worried about being lovebombed, some signs include someone telling you that they're in love with you after a couple dates, being showered with gifts and praise, and texting or calling you all day. Lovebombing also entails someone keenly assessing your vulnerabilities and smoothing them over with compliments, like telling you repeatedly how attractive you are if they sense you're insecure about your looks.

While it's likely that most people reading this wish their partner did more of those things, the ultimate goal of lovebombing is to isolate and control you, to make you feel like you owe them something.

This doesn't mean you should be wary of anyone who falls head over heels for you! Surely there are people out there who love eagerly without malice. But watch out for people who make big promises, like meeting your parents, and yet find ways to avoid fulfilling them.

“Narcissists lovebomb you to keep you on the hook, to make you need to hear from them,” Gloria Brame, a relationship and sex therapist, told Tonic. “They do it to get you addicted to them.”

The best way to diffuse a potential lovebomb situation is to have a conversation and slow things way down. If they really love you, they won't take offence and blow up, but if they do: take cover!


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