The gap between those who can access and use digital technology and those who can't
Most people who have been in a relationship will tell you: it's easy to fall into a state of dependence on your partner. We have a tendency to settle into our roles and rely on our partners to do things we could very well do for ourselves. Indeed, while a little dependence on your partner will do no harm, over-dependence or even codependence can take a serious toll on your quality of life. Check out this gallery for some tips on how to become less dependent in your relationship.
It is all very well and nice being in a loving relationship, but it’s important to remember that there’s life outside of your relationship and that you exist independently from it.
An important part of recognizing this involves making sure that you really know yourself well, that you understand what are your likes and dislikes, your values and treasures.
If you are reading this and realize that you’re out of touch with yourself, try to sit down for 10 minutes each day and take stock. It will help you stay true to yourself in your relationship.
This may sound like a simple one, but often people who struggle with codependence rely too heavily on their partners to make decisions for them.
This overreliance often stems from a fear of rejection, but it’s very important to recognize that even in a relationship the only person’s approval you need is your own.
No matter how big the decision, whether it’s where to go on holiday or where to buy a house, do not let your partner decide things for you.
If you want to be independent, it is important to work out what you want to achieve in life and make a plan for how you are going to achieve your goals.
Whether your goals are career, family or even fitness-related, be sure to keep them in sight and strive towards them fearlessly.
Wherever possible, avoid sacrificing your goals for your partner. This will only breed resentment and cause problems in your relationship later on.
It is not a problem if you lean on your partner for comfort every now and again, but your main source of support in a highly emotional situation should be yourself.
Be sure to check in with your emotional needs regularly and tend to them as they arise. If you’ve had a bad day at work, do something that you enjoy in the evening.
Equally if you’re happy about something, maybe a promotion or other victory at work, make sure to celebrate by treating yourself in some way.
It is important that you remember who you were before the relationship, and a great way to do that is to keep going with those hobbies you’ve always loved.
If you have never much been one for hobbies, why not try something new? It’s never too late to get out there and discover a new interest.
If you don’t want to go alone to try out a new hobby, you could always invite a friend (not your partner…) along. The more the merrier!
An important step to take if you want to gain more independence is to learn to love yourself. When we love ourselves, we naturally depend less on others.
If this is not something that comes easily to you, you will need to make a concerted effort to show that love to yourself. Go out of your way to compliment yourself, as you might someone else.
Another important way to practice self-care is to care properly for your body. Be sure to eat clean and exercise regularly to show your body the respect it deserves.
People in codependent relationships often find it difficult to take responsibility for their own actions, whether good or bad.
If you want to be independent, you need to accept responsibility for the way that you behave. This includes owning your mistakes when you behave wrongly.
Be sure to remember, and if necessary remind yourself, that you and you alone are the only person who is in charge of your life and the direction in which it's going.
You will probably find it helpful to communicate your desire for more independence to your partner. After all, your level of independence depends on them too.
Let your partner know about the changes you think need to be made and if necessary, discuss them. It can be difficult to break free from your learned roles, but it’s not impossible.
For example, if your partner normally takes care of the finances, why not tell them that you’d like to take over paying at least some of the bills?
For people who struggle with codependence or self-esteem issues, this one will sound easier said than done. But there’s no avoiding it: you need to be assertive. If you do not like something, you need to communicate that to your partner. No matter how big or small the issue, always make sure your opinion is heard.
If you don’t want to go to a particular restaurant for dinner, say that. If you really want to go on holiday to Australia rather than New Zealand, say that!
There is no harm or shame in seeking professional help to deal with some of your dependence issues. Indeed, dependent habits can be very hard to break.
Speaking to a mental health professional may help you to find strategies for breaking free from certain habits that you otherwise may not have thought of.
A session, or a few sessions, with a therapist can also boost your confidence, self esteem, and belief in your ability to secure more independence in your relationship.
Sources: (WikiHow)
How to become less dependent in your relationship
Get back to yourself and reap the rewards
LIFESTYLE Relationships
Most people who have been in a relationship will tell you: it's easy to fall into a state of dependence on your partner. We have a tendency to settle into our roles and rely on our partners to do things we could very well do for ourselves.
Indeed, while a little dependence on your partner will do no harm, over-dependence or even codependence can take a serious toll on your quality of life.
Check out this gallery for some tips on how to become less dependent in your relationship.