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0 / 30 Fotos
You have to re-learn how to be a mom every time - Pinkett Smith told The Huffington Post that motherhood changes with every child. “What it might have taken to raise one child," she said,"another child needs something completely different.”
© Getty Images
1 / 30 Fotos
Allow children to be who they want - The Smiths have allowed their children the freedom of individuality, which is evident in the out-of-the-box mode of thinking Jaden and Willow live by.
© Getty Images
2 / 30 Fotos
Instead of punishment, let kids take responsibility - Punishing children is a hotly debated topic, but Pinkett Smith told Health magazine, "I want to give them the opportunity to make mistakes and learn how to put boundaries on themselves," encouraging them to learn on their own.
© Getty Images
3 / 30 Fotos
The infamous technique of treating your kids like adults - Many parents want to make decisions for their children, but Jada explained in an episode of 'Red Table Talk' that she wanted to give her kids as much power over their lives as soon as she could, which had confused her own mother.
© Getty Images
4 / 30 Fotos
Establish a "circle of safety" - As kids get older, they become more reluctant to share their lives with their parents, so the Smiths set up a “circle of safety” in which the kids can share anything and not get in trouble for it, encouraging honest dialogue.
© Getty Images
5 / 30 Fotos
Blended families require work and respect - Before Jada, Will had a child (Trey) with another woman, and Jada took him in like her own—but she clarified that blended families take work. She aired a conversation with Trey's mom where they spoke about the pain and hardship along the way, but proved how beneficial their positive relationship can be.
© Getty Images
6 / 30 Fotos
Don't always put the kids first - Pinkett Smith says, "You always have to remember to take care of you first and foremost, because when you stop taking care of yourself ... you really forget how to take care of others."
© Getty Images
7 / 30 Fotos
No telling your kids what to do - Children should treat their parents with respect, but Will and Jada offer that same respect back, never ordering their kids to do things. Jada told Entertainment Tonight, "You have to be in partnership with them, there's no more dictating.”
© Getty Images
8 / 30 Fotos
Respect other moms and motherhood - Mom-shaming is all too common, especially in Hollywood, but Pinkett Smith is adamant about there being many ways to mother. “As a mother and as a woman, trying to support other women in how they see it's best to mother their children is very important," she told the Huffington Post.
© Getty Images
9 / 30 Fotos
Invest in family time - Time is scarce, especially when the whole family is busily employed, but Jada told The Huffington Post, "Everybody works so when we come together, we're focusing on each other. We really cherish the time we have together."
© Getty Images
10 / 30 Fotos
Don't pry—they'll tell you eventually - If you want your child to call you when they're in a bind, Jada advised Jimmy Fallon that the parents should be there, but not ask any questions. "You wait until she comes to you and wants to talk to you," she said.
© Getty Images
11 / 30 Fotos
Give them the chance to feel empowered by their own opinions and self - The Smiths only provide their opinions after their children have presented their own. Jada told Us Weekly that instead of just telling her kids how the world works, she wants them to feel empowered by having their own ideas.
© Getty Images
12 / 30 Fotos
Perfection doesn't exist - Like most mothers, Pinkett Smith wants her children to succeed, but she also understands that she has no control in the matter. She told The Huffington Post that parents must release perfectionism in order for kids to develop in a healthy way.
© Getty Images
13 / 30 Fotos
Acknowledge your own shortcomings - To emphasize the importance of accepting and understanding your own shortcomings, Pinkett Smith asked her kids on 'Red Table Talk' to share moments when they felt their parents made mistakes. Willow said they should have prioritized her musical growth over her popularity.
© Getty Images
14 / 30 Fotos
Approach every situation with positive intentions - When Willow told her mother about that shortcoming, Jada responded by explaining that it came from a place of love. "Your dad and I, we were like, 'Oh man, she'll be set up for life. This is her start.'"
© Getty Images
15 / 30 Fotos
Forgive yourself for mistakes - Besides learning from your mistakes, Pinkett Smith says, "I think parents have to give themselves much more forgiveness. We all are coming into parenting with our own childhood traumas. And you're hoping you can fix all that through your own rearing of your children, and you can't."
© Getty Images
16 / 30 Fotos
Don't force interests on your kids - Since the Smiths are both artists, they decided that it's better to flow with what people are, rather than what their egos want them to be. "We really just try to find the things that they're good at and support those things rather than forcing them," Will told Ellen DeGeneres.
© Getty Images
17 / 30 Fotos
Homeschool your kids - Homeschooling offers flexible schedules and a different environment, but the Smiths especially wanted to homeschool their kids so that they could design a system that "revolutionizes public education," Smith said on 'Live with Regis and Kelly.'
© Getty Images
18 / 30 Fotos
Encourage freedom of expression - The Smiths want their kids to pursue and be whatever they want, and on 'Red Table Talk' Jada spoke about her son donning women's clothing for Louis Vuitton, which she fully supported. Jaden wanted to give other people the same freedom he had to think outside of the box.
© Getty Images
19 / 30 Fotos
Learn from your children - Whether it was Willow shaving her head in the middle of the Whip My Hair tour or Jaden's decision to move out at 15, instead of saying "no," they learned more about what their children were thinking and feeling.
© Getty Images
20 / 30 Fotos
Give your daughter control of her own body
- When Willow shaved her head, people asked Jada why she'd let her do that. "First, the LET must be challenged," she wrote on Facebook, explaining that women are far too often reminded that they don't own themselves, and since it's Willow's hair it's her own choice. "I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain."
© Getty Images
21 / 30 Fotos
Don't project your personal experiences on them - Jada told Net-a-Porter that it's important to remember that your kids are not you. "Sometimes we're trying to fix things that happened to us or projecting [onto them], and that's a terrible, terrible trap."
© Getty Images
22 / 30 Fotos
Support any dream, but nudge them forward - "As a parent I will never ask my children to be less," Jada said in an interview. She explained, "I don't care if Willow wants to own a gas station. She better be a giant doing it."
© Getty Images
23 / 30 Fotos
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of them - On 'Red Table Talk,' Jada regularly displays her vulnerability. Particularly in an episode with her husband, mom, and daughter at the table, she confessed that she didn't want to get married, but felt forced to since she was pregnant. She shows trust and honesty, and gets the same in return.
© Getty Images
24 / 30 Fotos
Parent as a unit - The Smiths married in 1997, and since then they've been publicly scrutinized, from their struggles with each other to the way they parent their children, but a common thread through it all is that they were always on the same team.
© Getty Images
25 / 30 Fotos
Unconditional love and support - Though they're considered unconventional, one philosophy the couple shares with most people is that while you can't protect your kids from everything, you can always offer unconditional love and support.
© Getty Images
26 / 30 Fotos
Remember when the Smiths were heavily criticized for their parenting? - Clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly says, "Unfortunately, the press can sometimes focus on what is perceived to be negative at the time in order to create media buzz. As for the Smith family, the couples' parenting strategies are now being respected as having had positive, long-term results."
© Getty Images
27 / 30 Fotos
Don't listen to the haters - People were bashing the Smiths' parenting techniques and criticizing Jaden and Willow for being eccentric teenagers, but now the kids are working hard and trying to improve the world instead of partying.
© Getty Images
28 / 30 Fotos
Parenting is not prescriptive
- Though Jada has become known as the "Internet's resident therapist," and has one of Facebook Watch's most successful shows to date, she maintains that she would never tell anyone else how to raise their children, and that parents should be able to decide for themselves. See also: Fresh facts about our favorite Fresh Prince.
© Getty Images
29 / 30 Fotos
© Getty Images
0 / 30 Fotos
You have to re-learn how to be a mom every time - Pinkett Smith told The Huffington Post that motherhood changes with every child. “What it might have taken to raise one child," she said,"another child needs something completely different.”
© Getty Images
1 / 30 Fotos
Allow children to be who they want - The Smiths have allowed their children the freedom of individuality, which is evident in the out-of-the-box mode of thinking Jaden and Willow live by.
© Getty Images
2 / 30 Fotos
Instead of punishment, let kids take responsibility - Punishing children is a hotly debated topic, but Pinkett Smith told Health magazine, "I want to give them the opportunity to make mistakes and learn how to put boundaries on themselves," encouraging them to learn on their own.
© Getty Images
3 / 30 Fotos
The infamous technique of treating your kids like adults - Many parents want to make decisions for their children, but Jada explained in an episode of 'Red Table Talk' that she wanted to give her kids as much power over their lives as soon as she could, which had confused her own mother.
© Getty Images
4 / 30 Fotos
Establish a "circle of safety" - As kids get older, they become more reluctant to share their lives with their parents, so the Smiths set up a “circle of safety” in which the kids can share anything and not get in trouble for it, encouraging honest dialogue.
© Getty Images
5 / 30 Fotos
Blended families require work and respect - Before Jada, Will had a child (Trey) with another woman, and Jada took him in like her own—but she clarified that blended families take work. She aired a conversation with Trey's mom where they spoke about the pain and hardship along the way, but proved how beneficial their positive relationship can be.
© Getty Images
6 / 30 Fotos
Don't always put the kids first - Pinkett Smith says, "You always have to remember to take care of you first and foremost, because when you stop taking care of yourself ... you really forget how to take care of others."
© Getty Images
7 / 30 Fotos
No telling your kids what to do - Children should treat their parents with respect, but Will and Jada offer that same respect back, never ordering their kids to do things. Jada told Entertainment Tonight, "You have to be in partnership with them, there's no more dictating.”
© Getty Images
8 / 30 Fotos
Respect other moms and motherhood - Mom-shaming is all too common, especially in Hollywood, but Pinkett Smith is adamant about there being many ways to mother. “As a mother and as a woman, trying to support other women in how they see it's best to mother their children is very important," she told the Huffington Post.
© Getty Images
9 / 30 Fotos
Invest in family time - Time is scarce, especially when the whole family is busily employed, but Jada told The Huffington Post, "Everybody works so when we come together, we're focusing on each other. We really cherish the time we have together."
© Getty Images
10 / 30 Fotos
Don't pry—they'll tell you eventually - If you want your child to call you when they're in a bind, Jada advised Jimmy Fallon that the parents should be there, but not ask any questions. "You wait until she comes to you and wants to talk to you," she said.
© Getty Images
11 / 30 Fotos
Give them the chance to feel empowered by their own opinions and self - The Smiths only provide their opinions after their children have presented their own. Jada told Us Weekly that instead of just telling her kids how the world works, she wants them to feel empowered by having their own ideas.
© Getty Images
12 / 30 Fotos
Perfection doesn't exist - Like most mothers, Pinkett Smith wants her children to succeed, but she also understands that she has no control in the matter. She told The Huffington Post that parents must release perfectionism in order for kids to develop in a healthy way.
© Getty Images
13 / 30 Fotos
Acknowledge your own shortcomings - To emphasize the importance of accepting and understanding your own shortcomings, Pinkett Smith asked her kids on 'Red Table Talk' to share moments when they felt their parents made mistakes. Willow said they should have prioritized her musical growth over her popularity.
© Getty Images
14 / 30 Fotos
Approach every situation with positive intentions - When Willow told her mother about that shortcoming, Jada responded by explaining that it came from a place of love. "Your dad and I, we were like, 'Oh man, she'll be set up for life. This is her start.'"
© Getty Images
15 / 30 Fotos
Forgive yourself for mistakes - Besides learning from your mistakes, Pinkett Smith says, "I think parents have to give themselves much more forgiveness. We all are coming into parenting with our own childhood traumas. And you're hoping you can fix all that through your own rearing of your children, and you can't."
© Getty Images
16 / 30 Fotos
Don't force interests on your kids - Since the Smiths are both artists, they decided that it's better to flow with what people are, rather than what their egos want them to be. "We really just try to find the things that they're good at and support those things rather than forcing them," Will told Ellen DeGeneres.
© Getty Images
17 / 30 Fotos
Homeschool your kids - Homeschooling offers flexible schedules and a different environment, but the Smiths especially wanted to homeschool their kids so that they could design a system that "revolutionizes public education," Smith said on 'Live with Regis and Kelly.'
© Getty Images
18 / 30 Fotos
Encourage freedom of expression - The Smiths want their kids to pursue and be whatever they want, and on 'Red Table Talk' Jada spoke about her son donning women's clothing for Louis Vuitton, which she fully supported. Jaden wanted to give other people the same freedom he had to think outside of the box.
© Getty Images
19 / 30 Fotos
Learn from your children - Whether it was Willow shaving her head in the middle of the Whip My Hair tour or Jaden's decision to move out at 15, instead of saying "no," they learned more about what their children were thinking and feeling.
© Getty Images
20 / 30 Fotos
Give your daughter control of her own body
- When Willow shaved her head, people asked Jada why she'd let her do that. "First, the LET must be challenged," she wrote on Facebook, explaining that women are far too often reminded that they don't own themselves, and since it's Willow's hair it's her own choice. "I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain."
© Getty Images
21 / 30 Fotos
Don't project your personal experiences on them - Jada told Net-a-Porter that it's important to remember that your kids are not you. "Sometimes we're trying to fix things that happened to us or projecting [onto them], and that's a terrible, terrible trap."
© Getty Images
22 / 30 Fotos
Support any dream, but nudge them forward - "As a parent I will never ask my children to be less," Jada said in an interview. She explained, "I don't care if Willow wants to own a gas station. She better be a giant doing it."
© Getty Images
23 / 30 Fotos
Don't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of them - On 'Red Table Talk,' Jada regularly displays her vulnerability. Particularly in an episode with her husband, mom, and daughter at the table, she confessed that she didn't want to get married, but felt forced to since she was pregnant. She shows trust and honesty, and gets the same in return.
© Getty Images
24 / 30 Fotos
Parent as a unit - The Smiths married in 1997, and since then they've been publicly scrutinized, from their struggles with each other to the way they parent their children, but a common thread through it all is that they were always on the same team.
© Getty Images
25 / 30 Fotos
Unconditional love and support - Though they're considered unconventional, one philosophy the couple shares with most people is that while you can't protect your kids from everything, you can always offer unconditional love and support.
© Getty Images
26 / 30 Fotos
Remember when the Smiths were heavily criticized for their parenting? - Clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly says, "Unfortunately, the press can sometimes focus on what is perceived to be negative at the time in order to create media buzz. As for the Smith family, the couples' parenting strategies are now being respected as having had positive, long-term results."
© Getty Images
27 / 30 Fotos
Don't listen to the haters - People were bashing the Smiths' parenting techniques and criticizing Jaden and Willow for being eccentric teenagers, but now the kids are working hard and trying to improve the world instead of partying.
© Getty Images
28 / 30 Fotos
Parenting is not prescriptive
- Though Jada has become known as the "Internet's resident therapist," and has one of Facebook Watch's most successful shows to date, she maintains that she would never tell anyone else how to raise their children, and that parents should be able to decide for themselves. See also: Fresh facts about our favorite Fresh Prince.
© Getty Images
29 / 30 Fotos
Jada Pinkett Smith's unconventional secrets to parenting
The star turns 51 on September 18
© Getty Images
For a long time, many people did Jada Pinkett Smith an injustice by calling her Will Smith’s wife. While this isn't wrong, she’s proven over the years that she has just as much charisma, wisdom, and character as all her husband’s beloved roles combined.
The pair has been very open about their long relationship, and after years of the media coming after their parenting style, they’ve raised talented, free-spirited kids—and fans are clamoring for their secret. Jada’s Facebook Watch series ‘Red Table Talk’ brings important issues to the table in a comfortable setting, sometimes involving different stars, but usually involving her own mother and daughter. The topics covered range from sex to motherhood, and her willingness to be candid is truly admirable.
Click through to see beyond the headlines and learn more about her unconventional approach to parenting.
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