Celebrity quotes on marriage that will leave you in stitches!

“Someone once said to me, and I think it's quite true, that if your bodies actually fit together when you're sleeping in bed—I'm not going to get into too much detail—you're in good stead. When you can spoon with someone, then you're OK. Because you might not vote the same way, you might not have the same politics, but sometimes that works for people."

7 / 27 Fotos

Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020) -

"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf."

8 / 27 Fotos

Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) -

“Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.”

9 / 27 Fotos

Julie Andrews -

"Marriage is like a graph–it has its ups and downs and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!"

10 / 27 Fotos

Joan Rivers (1933-2014) -

“When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now…once he opened the car door for me in the last four years—we were on the freeway at the time.”

11 / 27 Fotos

Conan O'Brien -

"Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon called '50 Shades of Just OK.'"

12 / 27 Fotos

Chris Rock -

"Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

13 / 27 Fotos

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) -

"I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too–for being married so many times."

14 / 27 Fotos

Jim Gaffigan -

"My wife had us register for fine china because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a US$200 plate."

15 / 27 Fotos

Gwyneth Paltrow -

"I asked my dad once 'How did you and mum stay married for 33 years?' And he said, 'Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"

16 / 27 Fotos

Richard Pryor (1940-2005) -

"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings...and lawyers."

17 / 27 Fotos

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) -

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me."

18 / 27 Fotos

Amy Schumer -

“I love love, and I'm very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone's mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it."

19 / 27 Fotos

David Bowie -

“You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.”

20 / 27 Fotos

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) -

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.”

21 / 27 Fotos

Paul Newman (1925-2008) -

“Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other…You can’t spend a lifetime breathing down each other’s necks.”

22 / 27 Fotos

LeAnn Rimes -

"A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked."

23 / 27 Fotos

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) -

"Husbands are like fires. They go out when left unattended."

24 / 27 Fotos

Catherine Zeta-Jones -

"For marriage to be a success, every woman should have their own bathroom. The end."

25 / 27 Fotos

Mae West (1893-1980) -

"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."

Sources: (Glamour) (Good Housekeeping) (Everything Zoomer) (PureWow)

See more: Famous historical quotes that are 100% wrong

26 / 27 Fotos

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0 / 27 Fotos

Kristen Bell -

"I'd like to publicly thank my husband for changing half of the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day."

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1 / 27 Fotos

Will Ferrell -

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."

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2 / 27 Fotos

Katy Perry -

“First and foremost, self-love, and then give love away.”

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3 / 27 Fotos

Justin Timberlake -

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4 / 27 Fotos

Ryan Reynolds -

"I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She a human Denny's all day long."

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5 / 27 Fotos

Cher -

“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”

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6 / 27 Fotos

Cate Blanchett -

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7 / 27 Fotos

Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020) -

"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf."

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8 / 27 Fotos

Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) -

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9 / 27 Fotos

Julie Andrews -

"Marriage is like a graph–it has its ups and downs and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!"

Getty Images

10 / 27 Fotos

Joan Rivers (1933-2014) -

“When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now…once he opened the car door for me in the last four years—we were on the freeway at the time.”

Getty Images

11 / 27 Fotos

Conan O'Brien -

"Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon called '50 Shades of Just OK.'"

Getty Images

12 / 27 Fotos

Chris Rock -

"Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

Getty Images

13 / 27 Fotos

Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) -

"I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too–for being married so many times."

Getty Images

14 / 27 Fotos

Jim Gaffigan -

"My wife had us register for fine china because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a US$200 plate."

Getty Images

15 / 27 Fotos

Gwyneth Paltrow -

"I asked my dad once 'How did you and mum stay married for 33 years?' And he said, 'Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"

Getty Images

16 / 27 Fotos

Richard Pryor (1940-2005) -

"Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings...and lawyers."

Getty Images

17 / 27 Fotos

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) -

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me."

Getty Images

18 / 27 Fotos

Amy Schumer -

Getty Images

19 / 27 Fotos

David Bowie -

“You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.”

Getty Images

20 / 27 Fotos

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) -

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.”

Getty Images

21 / 27 Fotos

Paul Newman (1925-2008) -

“Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other…You can’t spend a lifetime breathing down each other’s necks.”

Getty Images

22 / 27 Fotos

LeAnn Rimes -

"A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked."

Getty Images

23 / 27 Fotos

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) -

"Husbands are like fires. They go out when left unattended."

Getty Images

24 / 27 Fotos

Catherine Zeta-Jones -

"For marriage to be a success, every woman should have their own bathroom. The end."

Getty Images

25 / 27 Fotos

Mae West (1893-1980) -

"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."

Sources: (Glamour) (Good Housekeeping) (Everything Zoomer) (PureWow)

See more: Famous historical quotes that are 100% wrong

Getty Images

26 / 27 Fotos

Celebrity quotes on marriage that will leave you in stitches!

Married life is not easy!

04/12/23 | StarsInsider

CELEBRITY Love

We all understand that marriage can be quite a struggle. It's challenging to expect one person to predict and meet all your needs. Our expectations for marriage are often quite high, but the reality can be tough. Nevertheless, when it does succeed, it can be incredibly rewarding. The key is to find ways to navigate the difficult times in a relationship and wait for the next high point. With effort, patience, and love, relationships can usually be repaired.

Doing it alone is tough, but the good news is that you're not on your own. Many famous people have gone through, and are still going through, the trials of marriage and have some valuable advice to offer. Even if you don't need assistance, they're sure to provide a good laugh!

Click ahead to see how these celebrities handle their marriages.