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Reach out -

Depression is by nature a very isolating experience, so the first call to action if you suspect someone is depressed is reaching out, this according to Alisha Powell, a therapist and social worker.

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Depressed people feel isolated -

This is because even though a common thing that people do when they’re depressed is to cut themselves off from the world around them, the most beneficial thing someone can do is surround themselves with people.

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Have patience -

“Don’t be afraid to call or text even if they aren’t super responsive,” says Powell. It might be easier for you to reach out rather than leaving it up to them.

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Avoid clichés -

Bethany Cook, a clinical psychologist, advises avoiding clichés, like "Things will get better," "Tomorrow is another day," "I know how you’re feeling," because, in all honesty, you don’t.

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"It will get better" -

Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author, also heavily advises against saying clichés like  “It’ll get better.”

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Empathy -

Tessina says that it’s much better to say “sorry that this happened to you” or “you don’t deserve this.”

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Everyone has their own coping strategies -

Everybody has their coping strategies. Just being around the person and them knowing you won’t flee if they cry is enough for them to feel less isolated.

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Validate how they're feeling -

The point is that you’re not trying to fix the person’s problems or telling them things will be better—you are trying to validate their feelings.

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If you don't know how you can help, try asking! -

Aimee Daramus, a licensed clinical psychologist, says instead of spending time and energy worrying about what a person wants, just ask!

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Acceptance -

Daramus says, “Another person might need to vent. Another person might want you to sit on the sofa with them and watch TV.” The biggest thing is accepting where the person is at.

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Listening is everything -

Tina B. Tessina points out that listening is probably the most important thing, i.e. being there for your friend and listening to them when they’re ready to speak.

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Be patient -

“Your friend needs someone who can hear whatever the problem is," says Tessina. Listening may take a long time, or go on for several sessions. "Your friend has probably not felt safe to talk about it before this, so it’s bottled up," adds Tessina.

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Come from a place of non-judgment -

Being open to whatever the person is feeling or the problems they’re experiencing in a non-judgmental fashion is the most important thing in the equation.

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Keep your expectations low -

A wise approach when it comes to spending an evening with someone who’s going through depression is to keep your expectations low and understand that just sitting with them is okay.

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Just sitting with them can be enough -

“Go to visit without any expectations of being entertained,” says Laurel Steinberg, a New York-based relationship therapist. “Sometimes just sitting next to someone and watching a movie can help to remind them that they are worthy of having someone go out of their way for them.”

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You're not expected to fix it -

Understand that you are not expected to be an entertainer or be so funny that it pulls them out of the dark place they’re in. Like when someone experiences a loss in their family, being there is enough.

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Be helpful -

Depression is often described as feeling like you’re moving through solid air, where even the simplest tasks seem impossible. With this in mind, it can be helpful to lend a practical hand.

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Offering a hand might go a long way -

This might mean helping someone with cleaning their dishes. “Ask if you can help tidy up their home environment,” says Steinberg. “Existing in an organized space is not only more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing but it has also been shown to boost people’s moods.”

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Be delicate and tread lightly -

It’s a delicate conversation to have. You don’t want to imply that the person cannot take care of themselves or their surroundings. Here's a type: flowers are usually a welcomed gift that helps make a room more aesthetically pleasing.

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Exercise is hugely beneficial in managing symptoms -

A review from the Boston University School of Medicine found that exercise is a hugely effective way of battling symptoms of depression. With this in mind, inviting your friend to go for a walk or to partake in another physical activity is always useful.

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Lead by example -

“So, be that friend (if your mate agrees) who takes the lead role and gets you both moving!” says Bethany Cook. 

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Encourage them to get help -

Encourage outside help. Very few people are excited about seeing a professional but it’s something that is often the best call, says Alisha Powell.

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They may become offended -

Suggesting that someone should see a therapist should also be done very delicately. It might be a good idea to have the name of a good one on hand.

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Are they putting themselves or others in harm's way? -

Depression is a very serious condition. It isn’t just feeling sad, and it can put someone’s life in jeopardy. It’s okay to ask if they have thought about harming themselves, according to Aimee Daramus.

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It's okay to ask -

“You won’t accidentally put the idea in their head, I promise,” says Daramus.

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Show that you care -

If the person is feeling worthless or unwanted, the most valuable thing you can give them is to show them how much you care.

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If it's serious, ask a professional for help -

If things are more serious, it is likely out of your hands and better handled by professionals. Tessina says: “Don’t worry if your friend said not to tell—that’s just the time when telling may save a life.”

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There's no quick fix -

Don’t give up. Don’t expect depression to be something that can be solved overnight or fixed with a single conversation. It can be tempting to give up on a friend when they’re not responsive.

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Don't forget to take care of your own mental health -

Being supportive is emotionally taxing, so it’s important to take the time to take care of your mental health, too. There may be times where you cannot offer support, and it’s better to be clear and honest in these times.

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Continue to encourage and support them -

“Keep up the supportive messages, the hopeful words, and stick around,” says Raffi Bilek, therapist and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center. “Just getting the message that you’re not going anywhere can be helpful and encouraging to your friend.”

Sources: (Parade)

See also: Reasons why people refuse to go to therapy

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