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What is post infidelity stress disorder? -

Post infidelity stress disorder (PISD) is a type of anxiety disorder that may be experienced after being cheated on by a romantic partner.

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It’s not a mental health condition -

Post infidelity stress disorder (PISD) is not a mental health condition listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The term is used to describe the emotional impact of such a traumatic experience on some people.

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How many people are affected by it? -

It is difficult to determine how many people suffer (or have suffered) from PISD, but according to a 2021 study, between 30% to 60% of people who have been cheated on experience symptoms.

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Is there a link with post-traumatic stress disorder? -

Finding out about a partner’s infidelity can be a traumatic experience and symptoms may be similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

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The origins of the term -

The phrase was coined in a 2005 study by psychologist Dennis C. Ortman, PhD. Dr. Ortman used it to describe the experience of a woman whose husband had an affair with her best friend.

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Symptoms: rumination -

There are a number of symptoms associated with PISD. One of them is ruminative thoughts about the event.

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Symptoms: trauma recall -

It’s common for traumatic memories to resurface in many ways, including in flashbacks and nightmares. These make the person relive the painful experience over and over again.

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Symptoms: numbness -

While people go through a cocktail of emotions in these situations, they may also feel overwhelmed and become numb, as if emotionless.

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Symptoms: avoidance -

Avoidance is a common symptom. Some people tend to avoid any reminders that the traumatic experience ever occurred.

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Symptoms: anxiety -

Anxiety and a persistent sense of worry may be present in people with PISD.

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Symptoms: depression -

Sadness is obviously normal in such situations, but some people fall into depression. Constant crying and feelings of emptiness are often experienced.

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Symptoms: isolation/withdrawal -

People with PISD may isolate themselves from friends and family. They may also stop doing activities they used to enjoy and being with people in general.

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Symptoms: insomnia -

Sleep is often impacted in people who go through such a traumatic experience. They may develop insomnia, which will consequently have an impact on overall energy levels, ability to focus, mood, and health in general.

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Symptoms: trust issues -

Being cheated on is a serious case of betrayal. This may lead to trust issues in future relationships.

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Symptoms: hyperarousal -

Those who experience PISD can find themselves in a constant state of alertness and hypervigilance. This makes them more sensitive to the world around them. 

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Does everyone experience PISD? -

Not necessarily. Though any person can experience it, some may be more predisposed to it. Let’s take a look at some predisposing factors.

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Predisposing factors: history of trauma -

Those with a history of trauma and/or abuse may be more predisposed to experience PISD.

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Predisposing factors: trust issues -

People with trust issues, who tend to be hypervigilant in relationships, are also at a higher risk of experiencing PISD.

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Predisposing factors: low self-esteem and codependency -

Those with a low sense of worth and self-esteem, as well as people with more dependent personalities, may be more susceptible to experiencing PISD.

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Predisposing factors: negative people -

People who are depressed tend to have a negative view of themselves and the world, and are also more predisposed to experience PISD.

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Diagnosing post infidelity stress disorder -

Post infidelity stress disorder is not an official mental health condition, so there is no formal diagnosis.

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Post infidelity stress disorder -

“However, the term can sometimes help healthcare providers maintain a shared nomenclature or terminology so the set of symptoms can be more easily communicated and understood,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

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Treatment: therapy -

Though PISD is not a disorder, it has very real symptoms that can be treated. There are different kinds of therapy that can work. Cognitive restructuring, for instance, is a psychotherapeutic tool that may help.

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Treatment: therapy -

A trauma-informed care approach is important in such cases, as it looks at the person’s history and potential trauma and considers them when assessing the person’s current situation.

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Treatment: medication -

Medication may be required in some cases where symptoms cannot be relieved by other means. In this case, a psychiatrist may prescribe medication such as antidepressants or anxiolytics.

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Coping strategies: self-care - There are a few coping strategies that may help deal with PISD. This includes practicing self-care. Self-care can include eating a healthy diet, exercising, having good sleep hygiene, engaging in activities one enjoys, and spending time with friends and family.

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Coping strategies: schedule worry time -

This may seem counterproductive, but it helps to process emotions. Schedule a specific time slot to think about the traumatic event, cry, and let sadness and all other emotions surface. It’s all about being present and allowing yourself to feel.

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Coping strategies: channel your emotions -

Make use of journaling or other creative methods to channel and process your emotions. Journaling is a great way to let go of ruminative thoughts and process emotions.

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Coping strategies: accept it and be prepared -

Accept that you will be sad, that you will think about the event, that you might have sleep problems. All of these things are normal, and knowing this can help you accept them.

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Coping strategies: self-soothing -

Find healthy ways to let off some steam and feel better. This can be meditating, listening to your favorite song, exercising, going for a walk, or anything else that takes you to a happy place. Just make sure it’s a healthy self-soothing tool.

Sources: (Verywell Health) (Perspectives Counseling) (BetterHelp)

See also: Easy ways to avoid infidelity in your relationship 

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