Letting everyone know love is a fairy tale - An employee of Cinderella's Castle reported that a family of four came in for dinner, and about halfway through their meal the husband stood up, tapped his glass for attention, and announced that his wife of 15 years had been cheating on him for over a year. He took the kids and left without his princess.

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The lines for the bathroom were too long? -

In the Magic Kingdom, a grown man strapped into a ride simply could not hold it in any longer and defecated, covering the entire ride with his own "accident." Pity the poor employees who had to clean up!

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Even when there’s toilets, there’s mess - A custodial employee was cleaning the bathroom when an old lady came in, went into a stall, and peed straight onto the floor. She walked out without washing her hands, too.

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They grow up so fast - The line to meet Queen Elsa is extremely long, and children are known to get cranky. One boy was crying when he made it to the front, and when the costumed cast member bent over to ask him what was wrong, he stopped crying to tell her that she had nice “boobies” while reaching out his little hand.

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Frightening ignorance - More bizarre with regards to the state of human intelligence, several guests have reportedly asked employees if they could turn on the air conditioning in the park, because they genuinely believed Disneyland was in a glass dome.

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Parents of the year - Sure, adults want to have fun too, but one couple tied their leashed child to a pole so they could ride Splash Mountain. Security had a few things to say to them when they returned.

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Imposter! - A woman dressed as Snow White roamed belligerently drunk round the park, pretending to be the character by signing autographs and taking pictures with people. She caused a huge scene as she was being escorted out. No happy ending for this princess.

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Someone mistook their child for Simba - According to one employee, some drunk riders unbuckled their infant and held the baby up in the air while the ride was 18 ft (5.5 m) off the ground so their other drunk friends could take a picture. The ride was stopped, they were escorted off the scene and once outside the park, arrested.

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Getting busy in the Haunted Mansion - Two teens thought they could get away with fooling around in the dark of the mansion, but suddenly they heard a staff member shout, “You’re doing it wrong!” The girl ended up biting down on the boy, and the medics, security, and managers all swarmed them.

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Short-shorts are a no-no - A male guest was seen at the park wearing shorts so short that his private parts were peeking out, which is definitely something young children should not have to witness.

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The lettuce was not vegetarian - An employee reported that they once allegedly found a dead rat in a bag of lettuce destined for the salads.

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A particularly thrifty guest - An employee of Fantasyland reported that, on a very hot day, one father refused to pay for a little fan equipped with a spray bottle. Instead, he bought a bottle of water, took big gulps, and sprayed it on his two little girls from his mouth.

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Toddler attack - An angry guest had a bone to pick with an employee, and he decided that the best way to make his point was to throw his toddler at the staff member.

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Taking cat lady to the extreme - A middle-aged woman was spotted pushing a stroller in the park and whispering to her "child," which turned out to be four or five stuffed cats dressed like baby dolls.

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Some people don’t know they’re real people - While training, an employee revealed that all characters have to have ‘leads’ (escorts) with them at all times. This is because Goofy was once stabbed by a man who had been arguing with someone else about whether Goofy was a person in a costume or a really tall dog in a hat...

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There are real people in there! - In 1997, a family allegedly attacked Pluto, pushing the girl in the costume into the fountain and breaking one of her bones all because she was trying to take her break right before it was their turn to get a picture.

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Makeshift baby changing station - Guests, on several occasions, used tables meant for eating on to change their babies’ dirty diapers, often leaving the soiled material behind.

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Using your child as an excuse to go to Disneyland - A couple trying to ride Space Mountain had a black duffel bag with them, and staff members heard noises coming from it. Security demanded they open it, and there was their six-month-old baby.

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Lost and found - An employee of the Space Mountain ride had to check the rockets when they came back from their cycle, and reportedly found a glass eyeball.

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Feeling a little too happy - A cast member was seen touching himself behind a ride in broad daylight. In the spirit of magic, he was fired.

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You get all types - A guest was reported to the staff for his unique brand of harassment, in which he would go around asking women to sneeze on him.

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Some are just the worst - A cast member saw a grown man in front of his family shove a pregnant cast member against a wall because she wouldn’t let him cut in line. Way to ruin the magic of Disney for everyone, sir.

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Lockers are not for live things - An employee once witnessed a guest trying to stuff her dog into a locker so she could go on a ride.

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Keep your arms and legs inside the ride - While on a ride in Animal Kingdom, an object flew past the passengers. After the ride ended a man informed staff that his prosthetic leg had somehow fallen off. They had to suspend the ride to go find it.

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A body turned up - Two brothers snuck out and hid on Tom Sawyer Island until park closing. They tried swimming back to the main park, the older with the younger one on his back, but the older one went under. They found his body the next morning.

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Calling in backup - An employee reported that a particularly heavy woman was trying to get on the Finding Nemo Submarine ride, which required a very narrow and steep spiral staircase. Ride operators tried to subtly suggest she not attempt it. She got on the ride anyway, but at the end physically couldn’t make it back up. They had to bring in a crane.

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The saddest place on earth - A man was found dead in his park hotel room. The costumed characters had an impromptu meet-and-greet to divert attention from the room as police arrived.

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Don’t get too excited -

After a child had impressively vomited by the entrance to Big Thunder Mountain, employees blocked the area off with trash cans. A man, in all white, came running from the exit of the ride to get in line again, and thought he’d be faster jumping through the cans. He slipped, rolled, and then realized just what he was doused in.

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People keep trying to spread loved ones’ ashes -

Surreal as it seems, people spread ashes on rides around the parks, and it’s a recurring problem.

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You must be this tall, and this smart -

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