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Life-changing event - Having children is an important and life-altering moment for a couple. The change can be overwhelming.

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Stress - Having children will obviously add stress to the relationship, both on an individual level and as a couple.

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Drifting apart - Unfortunately, children have the ability to drive partners apart just as often as they can bring them together. But there are things you can do about it.

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No idea - New parents don’t have a frame of reference and therefore no clue about how to deal with the stress a child can bring to the relationship.

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Relationship satisfaction - Relationship satisfaction is likely to fall after a child’s birth. Couples will likely feel more stressed out, and consequently more unhappy.

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It's universal - This stress affects couples from all over the world and is not exclusive to any particular social or cultural background.

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How bad is it? - But how much stress does having children actually add to a relationship?

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Less quality time - Couples spend less time together in a romantic context. Caring for a baby is very time-consuming.

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Less quality time - Less time together means less connection, less opportunities to bond, have fun, and relax together.

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Less "me time" - As individuals, parents will have less time for themselves. The baby takes priority over the parent’s needs.

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Responsibilities - Many caretaking responsibilities are split between the couple, but more often than not, one of the parents ends up taking on more of the childcare burden.

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Business relationship - This can lead to the feeling that a couple is negotiating, and that the partnership is merely functional.

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Expectations vs reality - Feelings of resentment can be triggered if one of the parents feels like he/she is putting in more work than the other.

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Things can get worse - This is magnified if there are medical issues involved. E.g. physical or mental health problems.

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Things can get worse - Or if there are financial problems and lack of physical and emotional support (e.g. family and friends).

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But it’s not all doom and gloom - There are also obviously many positive aspects to having a baby, and a couple can and should explore these. Here’s what you can do to manage the stress of having children.

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Decreased divorce rate -

Despite the toll it takes on the relationship, married couples are less likely to get divorced after having children.

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Support network -

It’s very important to have support from family and friends, but you can also pay for someone to take care of things for you from time to time, if you can afford it.

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Self care - You have to take care of yourself too. It might be overwhelming at first, but neglecting this will only make things worse.

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Self care - Get enough sleep. We know how hard it is, especially during the first year, but it's important for you to define strategies that allow you to rest when possible.

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Self care - Eat a balanced and healthy diet. Especially if you’re a mother and are breastfeeding, eating a good diet will ensure you and your baby are getting all the nutrients you need.

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Work out - Exercise. You might feel drained, but it’s important to keep moving and do something for your body and mind. It can do wonders for your sex life.

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Never stop being lovers - We know it’s easier said than done, but you should try to keep seeing yourselves as a romantic couple and sex is really important to keep you connected.

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Laugh it out - Try to take a lighthearted approach when it's appropriate. We know it’s serious business, but you shouldn't lose your sense of humor.

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You’ll become less selfish - Having children will increase your altruism. So you and your partner will be more giving towards each other in the end.

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Balance - Balance is key. Try to balance activities with the children, time for yourself, and with your partner. Easier said than done, of course.

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Accept it - You know that a decrease in relationship satisfaction is normal. Expect and accept that, knowing that it’s just a phase, and work to find your appropriate balance.

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Be present - Focus on gratitude and enjoy the moment. Allow yourself and your partner to connect over small things, from a smile to a kiss.

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Mindset - It’s all worth it in the end. Your parents probably went through the same struggle. It’s how nature works. As a couple, you should focus on the future and be sure that the best is yet to come.

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See also - Let's talk about love: celebrities' secrets to long-lasting relationships

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