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1. We are not what we experience - We often feel defined by the things we experience. For example, we might say we’re a depressive or anxious person, but that’s not quite right. We are just a person experiencing depression or anxiety.

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1. We are not what we experience - Our experiences are like the weather. No matter how bad the weather is, we know it’ll eventually change. The same goes for our internal storms. Nothing is permanent.

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1. We are not what we experience -

Haig references the common expression that someone has dark clouds over them. He reminds us that we are not the clouds. In fact, we’re the sky.

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2. The future is open -

The future brings possibility. Even if you don’t feel happy, that doesn’t mean that you can’t feel hopeful.

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2. The future is open -

Accepting the uncertainty of the future can be scary, but it can also be liberating. Time inevitably brings change.

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2. The future is open -

There are potential versions of the future that are brighter and fairer than that world we’re living in today. We can all contribute to making them a reality.

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3. Beauty exists - Beauty is everywhere if you choose to see it. It’s in the nature around us and the kindness of others. Haig says that beauty is healing and brings hope.

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3. Beauty exists -

He recalls a moment in his life when he was feeling suicidal. His emotional pain was so deep that it felt physical. He looked up at the night sky filled with stars.

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3. Beauty exists -

He suddenly felt hope that one day he would appreciate that sight again. We are surrounded by small moments of beauty that shine in the darkness.

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4. People are good -

Haig quickly qualifies this point. “Not all people, not all the time.” However, the year of 2020 shone a light on so many of the good people in the world.

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4. People are good -

Thousands upon thousands of frontline workers risk their lives every day to help others. And thousands upon thousands of ordinary people around the world continue to unite in the fight against inequality.

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4. People are good - It would be easy to look around and see the worst in humanity at times such as these, but the best part of humanity is also shining all around us.

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5. We have each other -

Haig uses the example of the purple saxifrage plant to demonstrate the way we can give each other strength and hope.

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5. We have each other - The saxifrage is a delicate looking plant, but it is found in some of the most unforgiving environments on Earth. The flowers survive by huddling together and providing each other with shelter from the harshest of conditions.

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5. We have each other -

We too can provide each other with shelter and protection. During the lockdown we saw neighbors helping neighbors, friends supporting friends.

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6. Our existence is testimony to survival -

Human beings are made to survive, as is the basis of evolution. The fact that humans haven’t gone extinct yet is quite incredible. We’ve survived asteroids, ice ages, and periods of mass extinction.

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6. Our existence is testimony to survival - Even when you feel the odds are against you, remember that you already beat the odds because you exist.

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6. Our existence is testimony to survival - We are strong and resilient. We experience things like grief, which seem unbearable, but we survive as we have always done.

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7. We learn in the hard times -

We learn the most when we experience adversity and pain. In these moments we are forced to examine and test ourselves. There’s no room for denial or avoidance when things get hairy.

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7. We learn in the hard times - Haig quotes the Buddhist writer Pema Chödrön: “The most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”

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8. Change is real - Change is inevitable and wonderful. We are made to adapt: our brains even change their structure based on our experiences.

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8. Change is real -

When we are feeling terrible or experiencing terrible things, it’s helpful to remember that change will come and our perspectives will inevitably shift.

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8. Change is real - Our realities evolve and naturally we become different versions of ourselves. None of us are the same as we were 10 years ago.

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9. Out of despair, life finds a way to bloom - Every family and community has an example of hope blooming in moments of despair.

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9. Out of despair, life finds a way to bloom -

Haig gives the example of his Jewish grandmother making it on to the last train out of Nazi-occupied Austria, after flirting with the Nazi guard at the station.

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9. Out of despair, life finds a way to bloom -

She went to London where she volunteered as a nurse and ended up meeting his grandfather, who had been injured during the Blitz. Her life grew from the moment that her old life was destroyed.

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10. We have innate value - We are often told to value ourselves and to raise our self-esteem. Haig says that we shouldn’t need to try so hard. “Your value is not a condition of productivity or exercise or body shape or something you lose via inactivity.”

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10. We have innate value -

We exist, we are valuable. We don’t need to do anything to create our value. It’s simply there.

Source: (Vogue) 

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What next? -

Check out this list of habits to give up if you want to live a happier life.

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