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Squishy term -

The term “empathy” is notoriously difficult to define. It is derived from the 19th-century German word Einfühlung, which can broadly be translated as “feeling into.”

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Squishy term -

Described by psychologist Judith Hall as “fundamentally squishy,” the term “empathy” means a number of different things to different people.

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Possible definitions -

Some people understand it as the ability to relate to other human beings, while other people understand it as a moral stance related to showing concern for others.

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General consensus -

However, according to Hall, “most people view empathy as having something to do with understanding what other people are going through and being concerned about them.”

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Desirable characteristic -

The ability to show empathy is normally thought of as a good character trait. Indeed, children are taught from a young age that it is important to understand other people’s feelings.

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The reality -

However, it is becoming increasingly clear that empathy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and that being empathetic comes with its fair share of drawbacks as well as benefits.

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Scientific background -

In 2017, psychologist Paul Bloom wrote an article for the journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences, in which he described one way in which empathy can be dangerous.

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The story of Sheri Summers -

In the article, he tells the heartbreaking (and fictional) story of Sheri Summers, a bright young girl who has a fatal disease and who is far down on the waiting list for treatment.

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The story of Sheri Summers -

When participants in a study heard Sheri’s story, around 75% of them decided to bump her to the top of the list, to ensure she got the treatment she so desperately needed.

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The story of Sheri Summers -

Of course, what those participants likely neglected to consider was that by pushing Sheri to the top of the list, they were making other equally, if not more, needy children wait longer for treatment.

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The identifiable victim effect -

Experts refer to this phenomenon as the “identifiable victim effect,” the idea that people are more likely to come to the aid of someone they can see rather than someone they can’t.

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The effect in action -

It is because of the identifiable victim effect that charities choose to campaign with the story of one named and suffering child rather than with statistics about thousands of unnamed children.

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The effect in action -

According to BBC journalist Tiffanie Wen, this phenomenon may even explain why people are more upset about the loss of personal freedoms than the millions of people killed by COVID-19.

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Top tip -

Of course, charities can hardly be blamed for using personal stories to raise awareness for their cause, but we would do well to remember that empathy can blind us to the bigger picture.

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Other dangers -

Our empathetic preference for those closest to us can also be dangerous for another reason: it can be used to stoke up negative feelings towards those further from us.

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The hot sauce experiment -

In one experiment, a group of students were told that their neighbor down the hall was taking part in a mathematics contest for a cash prize.

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The hot sauce experiment -

The students were given the opportunity to distract their neighbor’s competitor by making them eat hot sauce just before the contest began.

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The hot sauce experiment -

When the students were told that their neighbor was struggling financially, which made them feel empathetic, they were more likely to give the opponent more hot sauce.

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Us vs. them -

Politicians and activists have been known to harness this tendency to prioritize those closest to us to build a destructive “us and them” narrative in support of their cause.

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Us vs. them -

It is this tendency, for example, that xenophobic individuals use to demonize immigrants and even stir up violence and hatred towards them.

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Shared suffering -

The third and final danger of being overly empathetic is the “sometimes-incapacitating emotional impact” that empathetic feelings can have on us.

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Shared suffering -

Studies have shown that when we witness another person in pain, the activity in the area of our brains associated with pain partially mirrors the activity in the brain of the suffering person.

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Shared suffering -

Apparently this may be a feature of evolution that enables us to predict how pain will affect us.

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Empathetic distress -

This sharing of suffering is at its best unpleasant, and at its worst, when people feel “empathetic distress,” it can become a hindrance to action.

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Empathetic distress -

According to two neuroscientists at the Max Planck Society in Germany, empathetic distress can lead to “apathy, withdrawal and feelings of helplessness, and can even be bad for your health.”

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What to do -

So, what should we aim for then, if it’s not empathy? Surely there are circumstances in which it’s absolutely necessary to step into another person’s shoes in order to help?

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Empathy vs. compassion -

There is no suggestion that empathy should be actively discouraged, but rather that we should learn to make the distinction between empathy and its close relative, compassion.

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Defined term -

Compassion has been defined by the Max Planck Society neuroscientists as “a feeling of concern for another person’s suffering which is accompanied by the motivation to help.”

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Compassion -

It does not require us to step into another person’s shoes and share in their feelings, but rather to simply extend kindness towards that other person.

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Compassion -

Research suggests that people who experience feelings of compassion are more willing to help than those who experience empathy, because they are not distracted by empathetic distress.

Sources: (BBC) (Scientific American)

See also: Life skills parents can teach their children for success

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