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The Slobberer: Alfonso IX, King of León and Galicia -

Poor Alfonso IX was actually quite a successful ruler of the northern part of Iberia, staying on the throne for over four decades during the 12th and 13th centuries. But historians have noted that he was dubbed The Slobberer (or baboso) because he had a tendency to foam at the mouth whenever he was angered.

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The Impotent: Henry IV, King of Castile -

Henry IV of Castile ruled the Spanish kingdom from 1454 to 1474, but his unfortunate legacy remains in the bedroom. When he was 15 he married Blanche II of Navarre, but 13 years later he sought divorce, stating that they never consummated the marriage. Blanche’s virginity was deemed to be true by the Catholic Church’s trial, and it’s said several sex workers testified that his sexual prowess was fine. The divorce was granted, and Henry later married Portuguese princess Joana, who reportedly bore a daughter. Still, the nickname remains!

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The Do-Nothing: Louis V, King of Aquitaine (France) -

The last king of the Carolingian dynasty, Louis V was crowned King of Aquitaine in 979 while his father was still alive, and proceeded to do not much at all. He became known for his uneventful reign, which ended when he died at age 20 in a hunting accident leaving no legitimate heirs.

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The Universal Spider: Louis XI, King of France -

Louis XI of France was king in the mid-15th century, but it was his inclination for intrigues and his diplomatic activity that earned him the nicknames "the Cunning" and "the Universal Spider," the latter specifically because his enemies accused him of spinning webs of sneaky conspiracies.

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The Hairy: Wilfred, Count of Urgell -

Wilfred the Hairy was Count of Urgell, Cerdanya, Barcelona, Girona, Besalú, and Ausona, and yet it is his long beard and alleged full-body hairiness that he is remembered by.

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The Softsword: John, King of England -

Before Softsword, he was John the Lackland because he wasn't expected to inherit significant land. Then, in a plot twist, he became King of England. But, he ended up losing most of his French lands to King Philip II of France, resulting in the collapse of the Angevin Empire, and leading to baronial revolt at the end of his reign, ultimately forcing him to sign the Magna Carta. He was considered one of the least successful monarchs, and that in combination with his lack of military achievement earned him his unfortunate nickname.

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With the Pigtail: Albert III, Duke of Austria -

Well, it's probably obvious how Albert III of Austria got his nickname.

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The Terrible: Ivan IV, Tsar of Russia -

Ivan IV's “reign of terror” is to thank for his unfortunate nickname. He was known for making the lives of non-royals terrible and dependent on the sovereign. But especially terrible was how he murdered his own son, the only viable heir to his throne.

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The Fat: Charles III, Emperor of the Carolingian Empire -

Charles III was the last Carolingian emperor of legitimate birth and the last to rule over all the realms of the Franks, but instead of that he became known for his lethargy, which was reportedly because he was repeatedly ill and is believed to have suffered from epilepsy. He is just one of a number of rulers known by the epithet “the Fat,” along with Alfonso I of Portugal, Conan III of Brittany, and Henry I of Navarre.

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The Gouty: Piero di Cosimo de' Medici, Lord of Florence -

Piero di Cosimo de’ Medici was de facto ruler of Florence from 1464 to 1469, during the Italian Renaissance, but he's best remembered for suffering from gout. It's said he often had to work from his bedroom. That earned him the nickname of il Gottoso, or The Gouty.

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The Bloody: Mary I, Queen of England -

We've all heard spooky Bloody Mary stories, but in real life she was the first sole female monarch of England, whose Catholic followers led a bloody rebellion against Protestants. After the massacre, the once popular queen died Bloody Mary, heirless and despised.

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The Bald: Charles II, King of France and Holy Roman Emperor -

Though his nickname has followed him through history, whether or not this Carolingian ruler was actually bald remains a hotly contested point. Some historians say that when baldness became embarrassing in the 9th century, bald people started citing the great bald men of the past, so much so that it would have become an honor for Charles II to be associated with great bald historical figures.

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The Simple: Charles III, King of West Francia -

While many will interpret simple to mean slow or simple-minded, the king of West Francia was actually just known for being straightforward and honest.

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The Trembler: García Sánchez II, King of Pamplona -

Though he was the King of Pamplona in Spain from 994 until his death, one oft-cited account has branded García Sánchez II as the "trembler." “Though a man of tried courage, he never prepared for battle without visibly trembling from head to foot.”

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The Arch-Sleepyhead: Frederick III, Holy Roman Emperor -

Holy Roman emperor from 1452 until his death, Frederick III became known as the the Arch-Sleepyhead as a way to mock his inefficient ruling of his Imperial lands.

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The Mad: Joanna, Queen of Castile -

The Queen of Castile and León was forcibly locked away when her father found that she had an apparent mental illness. Her mental state only grew worse, and she became known as Juana la Loca, or Joanna the Mad.

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The Cross-Eyed: Vasily II, Grand Prince of Moscow -

Vasily Kosoy was Grand Prince of Moscow in the early 1430s, and in the midst of civil war he was overthrown by his cousin and brother. While in prison, he was blinded, and then apparently adopted the new nickname of Vasily the Blind.

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The B-stard: William I, King of England -

More famously known as William the Conqueror, William I was given his other nickname by those hung up on the fact that his father Robert, Duke of Normandy was not married to his mother Herleva, his mistress. William’s status as an illegitimate child was a big issue in the past.

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The Dung-Named: Constantine V, Byzantine emperor -

The Byzantine emperor from 741 to 775 garnered a lot of haters after he made it clear he was against the use of icons in the Christian church. He earned the nickname Kopronymos, which combines kopros ("feces" or "manure") and onoma ("name") to make "Dung-Named."

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The Mad: Charles VI, King of France -

In a time long before the conversation of mental health began, King Charles VI of France ascended to the throne at age 11 and became the sole ruler of the country at 19. He began as Charles the Beloved, but he soon started having attacks of "madness," which reportedly included fever and convulsions, attacks which would last up to nine months at times.

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The Crazy: Haakon, Earl of Norway -

A Norwegian earl during the civil war era in Norway, Haakon (Håkon) Galen's epithet "the crazy" can also reportedly be translated as frenzied, furious, or frantic, and is assumed by some to refer to his attitudes in battle.

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The Slit-Nosed: Justinian II, Byzantine emperor -

Nicknamed Rhinotmetos, or "slit-nosed," Justinian II was the last Byzantine emperor of the Heraclian dynasty, but he was not well loved. He was captured and deposed in an uprising, and his nose was cut off to prevent him from seeking the throne again. Later, his nose was said to have been replaced by a solid gold replica of his original.

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The Priest Hater: Eric II, King of Norway -

Eric (Eirik) II ruled Norway from 1280 until his death in 1299, but he'll be most remembered for his unsuccessful relations with the church, which resulted in the elementary nickname "Priest Hater."

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The Idiot: Childeric III, King of Francia -

Poor Childeric III was the last King of Francia who belonged to the Merovingian dynasty, and there is very little evidence to why he has "the Idiot" attached to his name except he was deposed by the similarly poorly nicknamed Pepin the Short and he was given a nickname to tarnish his reputation.

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The Fart: Eystein, King of Norway -

This one is potentially a tragedy of translation, but one that has stuck. Eystein Halfdansson was reportedly nicknamed Eystein Fret ("the Fart"), which some believe was an Old Norse term that actually translates as "the Swift".

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The Bad Entertainer: Halfdan, King of Norway -

Eystein the Fart's son, on the other hand, actually earned his nickname. He was said to have been a brave and brilliant warrior in battle, known for bringing back the spoils of war. But he earned his nickname apparently because, although he gifted land and money to the men who served under him in battle, he was a bit mean with the drinks and snacks when they visited him at his home.

Sources: (Britannica) (Royal Central) (History Collection) (Mental Floss) (World History Encyclopedia)

See also: The childhood nicknames of celebrities

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