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You hang out with unhappy people -

If you constantly hang out with miserable people who have a negative view of life, all you can get from them is negativity. They can also suck all the good energy out of you. If this tends to be you, it's likely you're an emotional masochist who thrives on this dynamic.

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You chase lovers who are not good for you -

Do you always chase those who reject you? Well, going after someone who doesn't return our love is nothing short of a disaster waiting to happen. 

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You stay in bad relationships -

Emotional masochists tend to stay in unhealthy relationships, even in the presence of visible dysfunctionality and abuse. 

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You seek approval from people who never give it to you -

We all need some sort of external validation, but seeking it from people we know are unable to give it to us is not a good habit. Even so, emotional masochists ignore this and keep seeking approval from the same people, over and over again. 

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You let people walk all over you -

You lack strong boundaries and let people walk all over you, especially if you think they will like you as a result. Being a people-pleaser, you are often disrespected by others and do nothing about it. 

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You engage in negative self-talk -

Your mind is in a loop of negative self-talk. This is usually a sign of poor self-esteem, which makes you the center of all your negative thoughts.

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You blame yourself whenever something goes wrong -

Not everything that goes wrong in our lives is our fault. Emotional masochists, however, can't help but blame themselves first and foremost. 

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You are always complaining -

Complaining can be tiring, for you and for those around you. It's not that you shouldn't express a genuine concern, but doing so excessively is draining and indeed charged with negativity. 

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You point out the small imperfection in the perfect picture -

The glass is always half empty. You always spot something wrong in a seemingly perfect scenario. Emotional masochists always focus on the downsides. 

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You point out when people make mistakes -

Pointing out when others do wrong is also a sign of emotional masochism. This does nothing for the wellbeing of either person or their relationship, but the emotional masochist does get a somewhat righteous boost of confidence.  

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You blame luck when good things happen to others -

You can't conceive that people actually achieve things by their own merit. Because emotional masochists don't believe good things happen to them, they don't believe it can happen to others either. And when good things do happen to others, they blame luck. 

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You can't live without drama -

Do you love gossip and thrive on drama? That might be a sign you're an emotional masochist. 

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You hold grudges -

Holding grudges will only make make yourself feel bad, but the pain and negativity is something emotional masochists are fueled by.

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You engage in petty arguments -

Disagreeing just for the sake of it and arguing about petty things is a waste of time and energy, unless you're an emotional masochist. 

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You start fights with your partner -

Your partner becomes an easy target if you're an emotional masochist. Fighting will quickly bring up emotions such as anger, which is something familiar to this kind of person. 

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You end healthy relationships -

Because emotional masochists thrive on toxic relationships, they sometimes don't recognize or appreciate when one is healthy. This is usually because negative emotions are not triggered as often, which is unfamiliar. 

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You go back to the same toxic lover -

And once you're done with the healthy relationship, you go back to that person who you already know is not good for you. 

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You think about reasons to feel bad when you're well -

You may call it pessimism, but emotional masochists have a hard time being okay. The feeling doesn't last long because they will look for ways or reasons to feel bad again. 

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You watch depressing media -

From sad songs and movies, to tragic news stories and fear-inducing social media posts, you try to get your fix of indignation, fear, and sadness, whenever you can. 

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You let bad experiences define you -

Dwelling on bad experiences is not good, but letting them define you as a person is even worse. If you do so, you might be an emotional masochist. 

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You don't believe you can follow your dreams -

You settle and quit easily because you don't believe you deserve to reach your full potential. Following one's dreams is just something other people do, not you. 

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You ignore solutions that may be beneficial to you -

You might know what to do about a situation, either because you figured it out for yourself or someone offered you good advice. Yet, you still choose to continue in the unpleasant situation. This is emotional masochism. 

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You convince yourself that you can't change -

Beliefs like these can be really destructive and they can stop you from ever being happy. Perhaps you're just so attached to pain and suffering that you believe it's who you are. 

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You reject help from friends -

Emotional masochists often reject support from friends. Anything that would help solve the problem and make them feel good is not welcomed because, ultimately, it would make the negative feelings subside. 

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You quit healthy habits -

Maybe you started eating healthier or started working out, only to quit shortly after because it's too hard. Or perhaps it's just another failure you can add you can add to the misery. 

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You don't think you deserve to be happy -

This is the rationale many emotional masochists use to explain why they are so unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness, including you!

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You self-sabotage your happiness -

When things start to go well, you have a tendency to self-sabotage your happiness. If this sounds like you, then you might be an emotional masochist. 

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You were raised by toxic parents -

Emotional masochism can have its roots in toxic parents. If you grew up being told that there is something wrong with you or that you fail at everything, you might just end up believing it. 

Sources: (Coaching-Online) (InStyle) (The Mental Health Update)

See also: Signs you had an emotionally abusive parent

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