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Weight-restricted murder -

In 2006, Edward Ates drove up the East Coast of the United States from Florida to New Jersey to kill the man who had recently divorced his daughter. Once the deed was done and Ates was back in Florida, he was quickly picked up as the police's prime suspect.

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Weight-restricted murder -

The defense argued that Ates was physically incapable of committing murder or even driving that far, due to his struggles with obesity and his alleged inability to accurately fire a gun. Unfortunately for Ates, the prosecution's proof of Google searches on his computer regarding how to kill someone proved more convincing to the jury.

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Diet anger -

Life in the army can be tough and unforgiving, but you never expect to be harmed by one of your own. Unfortunately, that was exactly the fate met by Master Sergeant Pedro Mercado in 2009.

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Diet anger -

Staff Sergeant Rashad Valmont, a subordinate of Mercado's, shot the master sergeant six times in the chest before turning himself into the police. Valmont attempted to blame his behavior on dehydration and hunger caused by an intensive diet he was on. Predictably, the court was less than sympathetic, and Valmont was sentenced to life in prison.

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The Twinkie defense -

The tragic assassination of American politicians Harvey Milk and George Moscone captured the attention of the nation, but the murder trial that followed proved to be just as appalling.

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The Twinkie defense -

In what is now known as the "Twinkie defense," assassin Dan White's lawyer argued that White wasn't entirely responsible for his actions because his unhealthy diet of junk food, such as Hostess Twinkies, made him severely depressed. The only thing more outrageous than White's defense is the fact that it successfully convinced the judge to drop the charge from first-degree murder to involuntary manslaughter. White spent eight years in prison for the double murder.

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Affluenza -

In 2013, the attorneys for wealthy teen Ethan Couch claimed that he couldn't be held responsible for the deaths of four innocent people on account of his severe case of "affluenza." In other words, Couch was too rich to know that what he was doing was wrong.

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Affluenza -

While driving drunk on his way from a party, Couch drove through oncoming traffic, dodging cars with no regards for anyone's safety. Couch ran headfirst into an SUV that was stalled on the side of the road, killing four and injuring many more. In a horrendous display of injustice, the affluenza defense worked, and Couch was sentenced to only 10 years of probation with zero jail time.

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Narcotic preoccupation -

In 2013, Alan Bienkowski was charged with murdering a man with a hammer. In a last-ditch attempt to find his way out of the charge, Bienkowski went with a lesser-of-two-evils strategy.

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Narcotic preoccupation -

According to Bienkowski, he was too busy using and seeking out heroin to have murdered anybody. Unfortunately for him, forensic evidence said otherwise, and Bienkowski lost his case.

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Stuck in the Matrix -

Tonda Lynn Ansley, a resident of Cincinnati, Ohio, allegedly began suffering from delusions in 2002 and started to believe she wasn't really in Cincinnati, but was, in fact, stuck in the Matrix.

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Stuck in the Matrix -

This confusion turned violent when Ansley began to fight with her landlady, and decided to kill her, thinking there would be no real consequences of her actions. While Ansley was tried for murder in the real world, she successfully pled insanity.

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A cursed love -

Florida native Amanda Lopez fled to New York to distance herself from her ex-boyfriend, but still felt his presence around her in the worst of ways. Lopez began to believe that her ex-boyfriend had cursed her, and she wouldn't be free until he was dead.

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A cursed love -

And so, in an act of what she considered self-defense, Lopez returned to Florida and stabbed the man 10 times in the chest. Despite her plea of self-defense, Lopez was charged and convicted of first-degree murder.

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Murderous sleepwalking -

Sleepwalking is a common, and usually disregarded, excuse for committing heinous crimes. Sometimes these claims are legitimate, but most of the time they're nothing more than lazy excuses.

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Murderous sleepwalking -

One of the laziest cases concerns a man named Stephen Reitz, who blamed sleepwalking for him not only throwing a flower pot directly at his girlfriend's head, but also for then proceeding to stab her in the neck. Needless to say, the court didn't buy it.

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Too smart to kill -

Hans Reiser, a reclusive computer programmer commonly described by those who knew him as a "genius," came under police scrutiny in 2006 after the disappearance of his estranged wife.

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Too smart to kill -

As the evidence had piled up, it became clear that Reiser was to blame. However, even on trial, Reisner tried to prove using mathematics that the probability of him killing his wife was equal to that of his wife fleeing to Russia. Reiser even went so far as to write a thesis on people's perception of reality and submitted it as evidence in his favor. The defense lawyer, as well, tried to claim that the chosen jury was unable to properly judge Reiser, because they weren't on the same intellectual level. The evidence against him, however, spoke louder than his theories, and Reiser was found guilty.

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The parrot defense -

According to Rasp and his defense, Max had been heard at the scene of the crime yelling the name "Richard" and "don't shoot." Rasp's attorneys tried to put Max on the stand to get the truth out of the bird, but the judge didn't allow it. With his star witness out of the picture, Rasp was convicted of murder.

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The Tupac Shakur snipers -

News outlets for decades have blamed music, movies, and video games for the growth in violent crimes among youths and young adults, although many of these theories have been debunked or abandoned. In 1994, however, two teens tried to use this argument to their advantage.

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The Tupac Shakur snipers -

Two teens in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, orchestrated and executed a sniper attack on an armed police van that left one policeman dead. Their defense in court was that they were brainwashed by violent rap lyrics, namely those of Tupac Shakur. The court quickly dismissed their defense and sentenced both teenagers to life in prison.

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Clinical lycanthropy -

Clinical lycanthropy is the medical term for someone who believes that they're a werewolf. It's called clinical lycanthropy because it's considered a psychological condition, since, of course, werewolves aren't real. That didn't stop one man in Ohio from blaming the beast within for his drunken outbursts.

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Clinical lycanthropy -

After drinking himself silly and starting fights all over town, Thomas Stroup was finally found passed out in his trailer by the police. When he awoke, Stroup began to growl at the officers. Later, once again lucid, Stroup explained that on a trip to Germany he had been scratched by a wolf, and ever since he would change form and embark on reigns of terror. The police decided he was simply an angry drunk.

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Thanks, Obama -

Pamela Downs was caught trying to purchase items with an obviously counterfeit five-dollar bill in 2015. Once the authorities were alerted, they found around US$50,000 of counterfeit cash in her apartment, all sloppily printed on regular, white copy paper.

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Thanks, Obama -

When asked what on Earth had made her think her plan could ever work, Downs explained that she had read online that then-President Barack Obama was allowing all citizens with a fixed income to print their own money. The article in question turned out to be from a satirical news site, and Downs proceeded to be charged and convicted of counterfeiting.

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Which twin is the evil one? -

The tale of the evil twin is older than time itself, and has been used frequently, although almost always unsuccessfully, in weak defense cases. Once, however, in 2009, it saved two brothers' lives.

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Which twin is the evil one? -

Sathis and Sabarish Raj, two Malaysian brothers both in the drug smuggling business, were both put on trial for smuggling massive quantities of marijuana and opium into the country. If they were found guilty, the punishment was mandatory execution.

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The parrot defense -

California resident Gary Joseph Rasp was arrested for the murder of his business partner, Jane Gill, in 1991. His defense rested heavily on one star witness: a African gray parrot named Max.

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Which twin is the evil one? -

The problem for the prosecution, however, is that they didn't know the two Rajs were twins; they thought they were only dealing with one person. Each brother adamantly blamed the other for the crime, and since neither the police nor the prosecution could definitively identify which brother was caught smuggling drugs on camera, it was impossible to prove the guilt of either and they both walked away free men.

Sources: (Listverse) (Ranker)

See also: The worst crimes in history

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