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Murphy's philosophy -

Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

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Murphy's general laws -

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

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Murphy's general laws -

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

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Murphy's general laws -

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

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Murphy's laws of love -

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

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Murphy's laws of love -

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute, they find someone else.

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Murphy's laws of love -

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

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Murphy's laws of love -

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

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Murphy's laws of love -

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

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Murphy's laws of love -

All the good ones are taken.

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Murphy's laws of love -

If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.

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Murphy's military laws -

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

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Murphy's technology laws -

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

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Murphy's technology laws -

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book, or even what book.

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Murphy's technology laws -

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the light of an oncoming train.

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Murphy's technology laws -

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

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Murphy's technology laws -

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Work smarder and not harder, and be careful of yor speling.

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Murphy's technology laws -

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it probably needed to be replaced anyway.

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Murphy's technology laws -

If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

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Murphy's technology laws -

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

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Murphy's technology laws -

We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.

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Murphy's technology laws -

When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Murphy's technology laws -

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

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Murphy's technology laws -

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

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Murphy's general laws -

Smile—it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Sources: (Carnegie Mellon University) (ThoughtCo) 

See also: Conspiracy theories that turned out to be true

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