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The origins -

The term was originally coined by TikTok user Caitlin MacPhail (@itscaito) in 2022 to describe signs that someone is “probably very boring.” The video went viral and people were inspired by the list of beige flags she gave, and began to contribute their own. MacPhail even created an “R U BEIGE?” series on the app, where she rated dating app profiles on their beige-ness.

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Lots of material to work with -

Anyone who has spent time on dating apps or sites will have noticed that most profiles have a bad habit of using meaningless platitudes that might at first glance seem like some semblance of a personality but actually reveal the opposite.

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Saying you hate the word “moist” -

Hating the word "moist," for example, became a strangely popular opinion that many included in their profiles as though it were quirky and interesting. Much of the beige flag concept is based in using empty traits to try (and fail) to differentiate yourself.

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Limited space, high stakes -

This level of dissection and judgment of profiles emerged from the limited space one has on a dating profile and the limited time there is to stand out from the sea of other options before someone swipes and moves on.

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Limited space, high stakes -

From which photos you choose to the prompts you answer, you have very little space to showcase your personality in what feels like a high-stakes elevator pitch. That’s perhaps why when people fill that precious space with meaningless fluff, it has earned the term “beige flag.”

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Opinions on well-known controversial trivia -

Hating coriander or cilantro, debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza, and asking whether ketchup belongs in the cupboard or the fridge are all examples MacPhail gives. “It’s not important,” she says. “No one cares.”

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References to mainstream sitcoms -

Any references to extremely mainstream sitcoms like ‘Friends’ or ‘The Office’ are also a beige flag. If someone is looking for the Pam to their Jim, the Ben to their Leslie, the Monica to their Chandler, etc., you can assume that’s as deep as they are going to get when it comes to romance.

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Using puppies to hide your lack of personality -

If you only have photos of yourself with puppies on your dating profile, that’s a beige flag that many view as a way to hide your lack of personality.

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Searching for someone who can “handle” your banter -

 It is apparently popular for men to write in their dating profiles or to even say out loud that they are looking for someone who can “handle” their banter or jokes. Implying that most people don't get your jokes means they're probably not funny.

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Looking for an "adventure buddy" -

If you’re “looking for someone to go on adventures with,” it might seem exciting, but according to quite a few people it’s backfiring on you. MacPhail joked that the so-called adventures are probably like “trying a slightly spicier Nando’s sauce.”

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Being into crypto -

To people who aren't into crypto, this can come off as a major beige flag. While investing money may actually be a desirable dating trait, it’s a known stereotype that crypto people will talk your ear off about it, boring you with this so-called hobby.

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All selfies -

If your dating profile is only selfies, it may read as though you don’t have any hobbies or interests, or any friends.

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Putting your height -

Many men specifically put their height on dating apps because they know that they will have a better success rate, but making your natural physical stature stand in as a personality trait is classified as a beige flag.

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Loving food as a personality trait -

Chefs and critics aside, while many people are indeed self-proclaimed foodies and may very well be looking for other foodies to date, many others view including food as a personality description to be generic and beige. Most people love food.

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Needing someone who can “keep up” -

The beige flag here comes from the not-so-subtly exaggerated version of your life that you’re trying to boast by claiming that most people can’t keep up with. Usually these people's lives are nowhere near as fast as they're trying to make it seem.

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Too much beer -

Whether it’s listed in your hobbies—and a hobby it is not—or all your photos are of you and friends drinking beer, this is a beige flag that indicates you probably don’t know how else to have a good time.

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Being obsessed with 'Harry Potter' -

While this may have perhaps once been an interesting trait that indicated you also love to read, now it’s regarded as a beige flag because it’s one of the most widely read stories. Instead of making you stand out, it makes you more like the masses.

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Being a “plant parent” -

Keeping a plant alive may be a feat for a few people, but for most others it’s nothing to write home about, and being so proud about successfully watering a plant is a beige flag that doesn’t really differentiate you and sets the bar quite low.

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Caring about the Oxford comma -

Some people make a point to express their support for the Oxford comma as if it’s a quirky addition to their dating profile, but many others find it to be a sign that you are very boring.

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Too much gym content -

Unless you’re an athlete, going to the gym is considered a very generic interest, so when a dating profile is all gym photos or looking for a “gym buddy,” it may reveal that there’s not much else going on.

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Being overly competitive -

Wanting to win at all times is a beige flag because it indicates that your interests lie in merely beating your romantic partner at various things, and your insecurity is likely going to be a bore to deal with.

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How to avoid being a beige flag? -

Try to think a little longer about what makes you unique. Put something in your profile with real substance that gives people an actual idea about what your personality or life looks like.

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The other beige flag definition -

On the other side of the “beige flag” discourse, the term has taken on a different meaning for people who are already in relationships. They use the term to describe a partner’s trait that is a little strange and annoying but otherwise inconsequential and easily overlooked.

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More beige than red or green -

These “quirks” are more of a true center between a red flag and a green flag because instead of giving a "yes" or "no" signal, they just sort of exist and indicate no action.

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Some examples -

TikTok user @sam_the_snack said her boyfriend’s beige flag is that he attaches his socks by safety pins when they’re in the drawer and in the laundry and only unpins them when he’s wearing them. "He’s never lost a sock," she wrote, in all fairness.

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Tearaway undies -

TikTok user Bronte Crawley made one of the trend's most popular videos, amassing over 10 million views in under a week, in which she describes how her boyfriend purposely wears underpants with holes in them so he can surprise her by tearing them off suddenly and leaving only his waistband standing. "He calls it the 'grand reveal' and it always happens when I least expect it," she wrote.

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Tech trust issues -

Another user, Cassandra Palumbo, said her boyfriend’s beige flag is that he doesn’t put his phone on silent through the night because he’s scared his alarm won’t go off, even though she has explained it to him and showed him several times.

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What to order -

User Hadar Zaid said her boyfriend’s beige flag is that without fail when they go out to eat at a restaurant, “he will always ask the waiter what to order” and blindly order it no matter what.

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Spoiled surprises -

Another user, Emma Thomas, said her girlfriend’s beige flag is that every time she tries to plan a surprise she gets way too excited and accidentally spoils it, but then gets upset to the point where she may even cry.

These beige flag stories are quite the opposite of boring, but both meanings of the term are evidence of our microscopic lens trained on dating in the modern world.

Sources: (The Guardian) (Indy100) (Elite Daily) (Distractify) (InsideHook)

See also: Signs you're forcing a relationship

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