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“We’re over!” -

Threatening the end of a relationship is not okay. And even if your partner is indeed serious and wants to end the relationship, this is certainly not the way to do it.

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“It’s all your fault!” -

It goes without saying, in a relationship it’s never all anyone's fault. Pointing fingers and playing the blame game is not healthy.

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“You’re crazy!” -

Your partner shouldn’t make you feel like there is something wrong with you. If you start questioning your own sanity, maybe you are being gaslighted.

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“You’re imagining things!” -

The same applies for this one. Your partner probably just doesn’t like something you say, do, or believe.

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“You’re overreacting!” -

Are you, really? Maybe you are, but maybe you’re not. Your partner cannot control your emotional response to things. If you feel it’s a big deal, then it's a big deal; at least to you.

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“You’re too sensitive!” -

This is just another way of shaming you for reacting in a way that is uncomfortable for your partner. But you should be able to express whatever is bothering you.

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“You’re too needy!” -

Okay, maybe you are a bit needy. Neediness, however, is a symptom of something else, possibly linked to an unmet need or, indeed, trauma. Regardless, if your partner feels you’re too needy, then you should talk about it calmly; they shouldn't use it as ammo in an argument.

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“I told you so!” -

If your partner tells you this, you are likely going through a bad experience. The last thing you want is someone rubbing it in your face just to feel good about being right.

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“You can’t do anything right!” -

Saying this is totally unacceptable. This sentence not only hurts you, but will also make you feel like a complete failure. Do you want to be with someone who makes you feel worthless?

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“What’s wrong with you?” -

This is yet another degrading comment that will make you doubt yourself and question your self-worth. This is not only an attack on your confidence, but also on your mental sanity.

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“Are you that stupid?” -

If you listen to this often enough, chances are you may end up not saying or doing certain things in front of your partner so you won’t look stupid. This is mean and conditioning behavior, which is totally unacceptable.

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“Don’t wear that...” -

The only people who could tell you what to wear were your parents. But this was when you were not old enough to decide for yourself. As an adult, however, you are totally free to wear what you like and want.

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“My ex would do that for me...” -

Being compared to an ex is not acceptable in any way, shape, or form. If the ex is so much better than you, why is he/she an ex in the first place, right?

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“You make me want to slap you right now!” -

The threat of physical violence should be taken seriously. It’s never okay to feel like your partner can use it. Ever.

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“If you loved me, you would…” -

This is a highly manipulative thing to say. Most likely, your partner is trying to make you do something you don’t really want to do. Watch out for this one, as it can be subtle.

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“You complete me!” -

You are not a puzzle piece and surely won’t complete anyone. If your partner tells you this, they are either being ultra romantic, or they may have some attachment issues to resolve.

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“That’s just the way I am...” -

This is a lousy excuse for unacceptable behavior. Your partner is responsible for his/her emotions and actions, and dismissing it as a personality trait is just reductive.

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“You never…” or “You always…” -

These are absolutes, and absolutes have no place in life, let alone in relationships. It’s very unlikely that you always or never do something.

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“Remember the last time?” -

This usually precedes a bad situation, something that went wrong, and it’s usually a way to use past events as a way to get to you and make you feel guilty and ashamed.

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“Grow up!” -

Even if you are behaving in a more emotional way, you are an adult and should not be told otherwise by another adult. Dismissing your behavior as childish can also happen, and it’s equally unacceptable.

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“Can’t you get a real job?” -

This is hurtful and can really shake your confidence. If your partner doesn't value your job choice, then he/she doesn’t validate or respect your decisions. No one should make you feel bad about your career choices.

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“What do you do all day?” -

This is related to the previous one. This implies that you don’t really work. It’s a dismissive and nasty thing to say.

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“I wish I had never met you!” -

This is a very hurtful thing to say to a partner. Plus, it’s likely not true. Your partner can be mad at you, but there's no need to attack you. These words will pierce your heart.

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“Getting involved with you was my biggest mistake!” -

This implies regret, and you are the subject of that regret. Such a sentence can make you feel like the worst person in the world, and that is not okay.

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“I wish you could be more like…” -

We’ve mentioned comparisons with exes, but comparisons with other people are also unacceptable. You are you. You are not someone else, nor will you ever be.

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“That’s probably why your ex left you!” -

If your partner tells you this, the only intention is to hurt you. And, indeed, this is a very hurtful thing to say.

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“I don’t have time for this!” -

Well, your partner should have time for “this.” If “this” is important, then it deserves attention. Shrugging it off as something unimportant is not okay.

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“I hate you!” -

Hate is the opposite of love. This is usually said from a place of anger, but, still, it’s a powerful and hurtful thing to say to a loved one.

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“I can’t stand you!” -

Again, this is just something your partner shouldn’t say to you, regardless of how angry they are. It may not be as strong as “I hate you,” but it’s equally painful to listen to.

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“Your friend looked hot tonight!” -

The last thing you want to worry about is your partner feeling attracted to your friends. Sure, your partner can compliment how your friend looked, but not in a sexualized manner.

Sources: (A Conscious Rethink)

See also: Common double standards in relationships (and how to deal with them)

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