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Ryan Reynolds - "I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She a human Denny's all day long."

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Catherine Zeta-Jones - "For marriage to be a success, every woman should have their own bathroom. The end."

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020) -

"In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf."

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Justin Timberlake -

"We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she's getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her own way in everything. And, so far, it's working."

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LeAnn Rimes -

"A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked."

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Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) - "Husbands are like fires. They go out when left unattended."

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Elizabeth Taylor (1932-2011) -

"I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too–for being married so many times."

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Kristen Bell - "I'd like to publicly thank my husband for changing half of the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day."

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Will Ferrell -

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."

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Paul Newman (1925-2008) -

“Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other…You can’t spend a lifetime breathing down each other’s necks.”

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Albert Einstein (1879-1955) -

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they are both disappointed.”

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Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) -

“Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.”

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Joan Rivers (1933-2014) -

“When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now…once he opened the car door for me in the last four years—we were on the freeway at the time.”

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David Bowie (1947-2016) -

“You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.”

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Cher -

“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”

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Winston Churchill (1874-1965) - "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me."

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Julie Andrews - "Marriage is like a graph–it has its ups and downs and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!"

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Katy Perry -

“First and foremost, self-love, and then give love away.”

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Cate Blanchett - “Someone once said to me, and I think it's quite true, that if your bodies actually fit together when you're sleeping in bed—I'm not going to get into too much detail—you're in good stead. When you can spoon with someone, then you're OK. Because you might not vote the same way, you might not have the same politics, but sometimes that works for people."

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Amy Schumer -

“I love love, and I'm very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone's mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it."

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Chrissy Teigen -

"I think a good rule of thumb is to never play 'f**/marry/kill' between other couples you are currently sitting with."

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Conan O'Brien - "Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon called '50 Shades of Just OK.'"

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Richard Pryor (1940-2005) - "Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings...and lawyers."

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Jim Gaffigan -

"My wife had us register for fine china because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a US$200 plate."

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Mae West (1893-1980) -

"Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."

Sources: (Glamour) (Good Housekeeping) (Everything Zoomer) (PureWow)

See also: Celebrity last words and deathbed quotes

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chris rock -

"Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

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