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Fragile couples -

The most fragile couples tend to be, quite paradoxically, very optimistic about love. They expect that their relationship shouldn’t be difficult, full of conflict, and tedious.

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Strong couples -

Strong couples recognize that arguments and conflict are the reality of living so closely with another person, rather than proof that they are with the wrong person.

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Fragile couples -

Individuals in fragile couples will tend to not be the best at understanding how they are feeling themselves, and therefore stand little chance of being able to communicate their needs to their significant other.

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Strong couples -

Individuals in strong couples tend to have a better ability to zero in on exactly what seems to be the matter. By zeroing in on the issue, the couple will be able to work on the problem.

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Fragile couples -

Shame plays a big role in the life of someone in a fragile couple. Because of whatever may have happened in their past, they may feel unworthy of being heard, and undeserving of happiness.

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Strong couples -

Rather than sulking, the individuals in strong couples will feel deserving of happiness and be able to speak up when they feel like they’re being unfairly treated.

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Fragile couples -

Couples tend to be more fragile when one member of the couple is too proud to be able to take criticism from their partner about things that might seem small or insignificant.

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Strong couples -

On the other hand, stronger couples will be able to complain to each other about certain things without one of the partners feeling like it’s an attack on their character.

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Fragile couples -

Members of more fragile couples will tend to not understand that vulnerability, if approached in the right way, is a virtue in a relationship.

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Strong couples -

Individuals in stronger couples will realize that they and their partners may be easily hurt and almost childlike at times, and that it’s okay. They communicate that, for example, they might feel hurt that their partner didn’t hold their hand, as petty as it may seem.

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Fragile couples -

Fragile couples may be made up of individuals who are disadvantaged by not having witnessed difficult conversations between early role models working out, and so didn’t learn how to do it from a young age.

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Strong couples -

Members of stronger couples may have, more often than not, witnessed role models in their formative years have difficult and heated disagreements that morphed into mutual understanding and sympathy.

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Fragile couples -

The fragile couple can often be in an uneasy position if acceptance of each other is low.

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Strong couples -

Strong couples accept the need for tolerance for each other in their relationship and know that nobody is perfect. They will be able to express to the other person constructively when something is bothering them, but will pick their battles.

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How strong couples refer to themselves -

Strong couples tend to refer to themselves to other people with the pronoun “we,” instead of “me” or “I,” for instance.

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Couples that use "we" -

Researcher Robert Levenson and his colleagues at the University of California, Berkeley found that couples who use the pronoun “we” are happier, calmer, and more satisfied with their relationship.

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Strong couples -

Strong couples, much like healthy individuals, will have high levels of gratitude in their lives for what they have. Stronger couples will focus on what’s right in a relationship rather than what’s wrong. Members of fragile couples can be constantly at unease when one of the partners shows very little gratitude for the other person or the relationship in general.

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It's not supposed to be endless good times -

The healthiest of relationships are not just defined by a couple that has mostly good experiences together.

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Friction is a sign of healthy communication -

It turns out that couples having only good experiences together is not exactly a good thing. Couples will become bored and it’s also generally a sign that they are not communicating efficiently.

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Strong couples -

Humans love novelty. Strong couples will endeavor and sometimes succeed to keep the novelty in a relationship alive.

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Fragile couples -

More fragile couples tend not to keep the novelty in a relationship alive by doing new activities together.

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Strong couples -

Strong couples understand each other’s need for space as being something innate to humans and not some sort of representation that the relationship is somehow failing.

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Fragile couples -

In a fragile relationship, one half of the couple may not understand that the other needs space, and the person in question may not be able to communicate their need for said space.

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Space is vital -

This can lead to one or both partners feeling smothered, feeling like they have lost their sense of individuality, that they’re trapped, and so on.

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Physical affection -

Physical affection isn’t often lacking in a strong relationship. It has many benefits for members of a couple, including physical benefits like reduced blood pressure and the increased release of happy hormones.

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The benefits of physical affection -

A healthy level of physical affection is associated with higher relationship satisfaction. Strong couples may often touch, kiss, and hold hands.

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Other characteristics of strong couples -

As well as all of this, strong couples tend to have their rituals (coffee in the morning, for example), are more thoughtful when speaking to each other, are more supportive (compliments and so on), set goals as a couple, and fight fair.

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Don't panic! -

None of the factors mentioned that are part of a fragile couple’s anatomy means that the couple will break up. However, over a long period, the aforementioned states in a relationship, like not communicating with a partner, are the type of things that put strain on a relationship.

Sources: (Psych Central) (Bustle) (The School of Life)

See also: Dating advice from professional matchmakers

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