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Why siblings are special -

Often acting as our best friends and confidants, siblings play a special role in our lives. The bond we forge with them is often different from those with our parents, other relatives, and even our own children.

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Sibling loss doesn't get much attention -

Not much research has been devoted to the special relationship siblings have, or how death impacts siblings. It's often outshone by the loss of parents or children, which are also tragic events. But keep in mind that the outliving sibling will often be the one having to take care of funeral arrangements, not allowing them time to grieve. This can be extremely burdensome.

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Emotional reactions -

Emotional reactions and the grieving process will vary by the individual. They can include shock, denial, anger, and distress. However, your pain and your feelings are unique to you.

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The effects of a sibling death -

Whether through a prolonged illness like cancer or a sudden death due to a car accident, the loss of a sibling isn't easy. Beyond grief, it can have multiple other effects on you.

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Changes in the family dynamic -

Roles and responsibilities may get shaken up. For instance, if your brother was the family leader, who will take on the role now? The uneasiness can add more stress to your grief.

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The loss of a close relationship -

Because siblings are often deeply connected, you may have lost both a sibling and a best friend. This can leave a big void in your life.

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Profound guilt -

If your brother or sister passed away, you may be feeling guilty for surviving. The guilt could be about childhood fights, or if you were distant as adults, you might feel bad because you didn't reconnect before the passing.

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Dealing with unhelpful friends -

Some friends may avoid you as they don't know how to deal with someone's grief. Others may say the wrong things, like "she's in a better place" or "let me know how I can help." If you're not feeling it, tell your friends that they don't have to talk about it. You can invite them over to just hold your hand or bring you food.

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Fear of developing the same illness -

If your sibling passed away from cancer, for instance, then you might now need to get tested. Added to your grief, you might develop a new fear of getting diagnosed with the same deadly disease.

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How long is too long to mourn? -

There's no rule for the amount of time to grieve someone. As time passes, the sadness should ease. But that doesn't mean the grief or sadness disappears completely. It simply means you'll begin to find happy and joyful moments in your daily life again.

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Complicated grief -

However, for some, feelings of loss are so intense that they become debilitating. This is known as complicated grief, or persistent complex bereavement disorder. People with this are incapable of resuming their lives in a healthy manner. They need therapeutic help.

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Coping with grief after the death of a sibling -

For those bereaved, there are ways to help you cope with the grief and find a way through your loss. However, some are suited for earlier in your grief journey, and some for later.

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Connect online -

Social media can help you out when you're suffering the loss of a sibling. By having access to a group of friends, family, and virtual strangers, you'll always have someone available online to listen and offer advice.

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Join a support group -

Sometimes you might not feel comfortable opening up to someone who isn't going through grief as well. By joining a support group, online or in person, you'll find others who are going through what you are. You'll have a safe community in which to mourn.

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Say your last goodbyes -

You may not always have a chance to say your goodbyes before they die, but you can find ways to get closure and move on with your life. One way is by writing a letter to your sibling, telling them all the things you wished you'd have said before they died.

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Attend the funeral -

It might be challenging to attend the funeral, but going is a sign of respect for your loved ones. Funerals can be a supportive space, which helps to bring peace and closure to the death of a loved one.

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Give a eulogy -

A nice way to honor your sibling is by giving a eulogy at the funeral. However, this may not be the right time to air out your grievances.

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Host a memorial service -

If you want to do something to memorialize your sibling, ask your family if you can pay for and host a memorial service in their honor.

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Rest and sleep more -

The bereaved may feel more exhausted physically and emotionally. Give yourself more time to rest and sleep. It will make each day a bit better.

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Be kind and gentle with yourself -

You're learning that grief is a winding process. Be kind, and have patience with each stage of this difficult journey.

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Don’t skip over feeling pain -

It's never good to bottle up your emotions. Allow yourself the time to hurt, so you can move through that. Otherwise, you'll build up more anxiety and anger, which can have a negative impact on your mental health.

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Spend time with family and friends -

It's natural that you might want time alone. But don't remove or completely isolate yourself. Your family and friends are there for you.

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Do small things that make you happy -

By doing the things that make you happy, you'll integrate small pleasures back into your life. This could be taking care of your plants, reading a book, or even playing games on your phone.

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Focus on spirituality and creativity -

During these hard times, it's important to focus your energy on things that bring you joy. Take the opportunity to tap into your creativity. You could write poetry, paint, or even play an instrument.

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Allow yourself joy -

You might feel guilty or ashamed if you enjoy a meal or dance to a song that you both liked. Don't! Allow yourself to feel joy.

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Create a ritual in your sibling’s memory -

For example, if your sister passed away from breast cancer, participate in a marathon for breast cancer research. You'll be contributing to a good cause while honoring her memory at the same time.

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Do something to honor your sibling’s life -

If your sibling loved a specific neighborhood park, donate a bench as a memorial. It's a beautiful way to honor their memory.

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Return to a routine as soon as you can -

When something sad and tragic happens, our routines are automatically disrupted. Try to get back to it slowly. You can do so by eating regularly, going for a walk, and heading back to work.

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Share stories -

One of the beautiful things about death is that it tends to breathe new life into old and forgotten stories. Try recalling a few of your own with your sibling to your family. It will be an emotional, but loving, gathering.

Sources: (Verywell Mind) (Cancer.Net)

See also: Foods that help combat stress, anxiety, and depression 

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