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"I have no clean clothes" -

This really isn't an excuse if you're an adult and you do your own laundry. If this happens for real, maybe you should rethink your priorities in life.

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"It's too cold" -

Okay, could we all use this one once in a while? Surely, many of us have felt like it's too cold to leave the house.

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"A cow broke into my house" -

As they do... Now you can't go to work because you're waiting for your insurance contact, and, of course, for someone to come and remove the animal from your home!

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"I accidentally got on a plane" -

This one is just brilliant. We wonder what else you can accidentally do? Perhaps stumble across a vacation and end up on the beach? Crazy, right?

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"My mother was attacked by a a chicken" -

The dangers of country living are real. Luckily, you came to her rescue.

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"My car was surrounded by a swarm of bees" -

How can one possibly get into a car surrounded by bees, right?

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"I woke up at this place and I don't know where I am" -

Sure these things can happen. When you're not working the next day, at least.

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"I thought it was Saturday today" -

We've all had that feeling at least once in our lives, but then the alarm goes off, and we get up to go to work.

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"My girlfriend threw all my stuff in the dumpster" -

She found out you were cheating and threw all your stuff away, just like in the movies. It's only fair that that you skip work to retrieve all you belongings from the dumpster.

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"I poked myself in the eye while combing my hair" -

How tangled was your hair, and how much force did you apply to your hairbrush that it ended up hitting your eye in a way that rendered you unfit to work, really?

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"I injured my little toe" -

How can one possibly work with a an injury as serious as this one?

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"There’s a 'hit' out on me" -

Okay, maybe you've upset the wrong people and need to watch your back. But why is a hitman looking for you today, specifically?

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"I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball" -

Don't you hate it when you go to the bowling alley and that happens?

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"My psychic told me not to go to work" -

When the universe tells you not to go to work, you should listen. Especially if the message is channeled through your psychic...

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"There is a stranger asleep on my couch" -

Because that's what burglars do, right? Who's the random stranger anyway, and how did this person fall asleep on your couch? A complete mystery.

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"I slept in a bad position and now I can't move my arms" -

Waking up with dead limbs is pretty upsetting. How you managed to pick up the phone to call in sick is pretty amazing though...

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"I ran out of dog food" -

This goes for any other pet. Of course, you had to go to the pet store to get some food.

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"I went to a party last night and something upset my tummy" - Yes, it's called alcohol. And you're suffering from something called a hangover.

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"There’s a bird in my house and I don’t know what to do" -

Come on, who can go to work and leave a bird loose at home?

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"I fell out of bed and knocked myself out" -

Fair enough. There is no way on earth this person would have heard the alarm clock.

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"I ate cat food instead of tuna and now I’m sick" -

It's usually pets that eat human food, not the other way round, in case you haven't noticed.

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"My house is haunted so I’ve called a priest" -

Obviously, you can't go to work when you're waiting for a priest to exorcise your home's demons.

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"I dreamed that my cat died..." -

"...and now I'm afraid to leave him." As dedicated as that sounds, this is not quite a viable excuse to skip work.

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"A fox stole my car keys" -

Don't you hate it when that happens, especially while you're asleep?

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"I got stuck in the blood pressure machine" -

Sounds legit. You really can't get to work if you're stuck. At least you're monitoring your blood pressure!

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"It’s a secret. If I tell you, you’ll be in danger" -

This is a pretty good one. The manager may or may not be impressionable. If he/she is, then it's fair game.

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"My girlfriend threw a Wii remote at me and chipped my tooth" -

Surely, you can't go to work with a chipped tooth, right? Especially after being assaulted by your loved one!

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"I woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it" -

Sometimes, honesty is not the best policy. Still, this is a clear sign you need to change your job.

Sources: (Reader's Digest) (Forbes) (Insider) (Coburg Banks)

See also: Celebrities' most ridiculous excuses

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