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Think, rethink, and then think again -

You’ve been married before, so it’s normal that you’ll find yourself analyzing the possibility of remarrying over and over again.

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Think, rethink, and then think again -

Mental health counselor Amy Sherman suggests asking yourself this question: "What are the red flags that got you out of the marriage in the first place?"

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Watch out for red flags -

Speaking of red flags, what are the things you definitely don’t want in a relationship? Is this new love really everything you want in a partner for life?

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Don’t rush it -

It’s very important that you take the time to heal and organize yourself, and that you are in a good place emotionally, physically, and financially, before you consider a second marriage. This will only increase your success rate.

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Don’t rush it -

Equally important is to take the time to get to know your new partner well.

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Are you healed from your previous relationship? -

A divorce is tough and it can indeed be very hard to go through and heal completely. Do you have unresolved matters and feelings that need to be addressed and dealt with before remarrying?

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Have you spent some time on your own? -

It’s important to stay single for a while after divorce, before you jump headfirst into another marriage. Have you spent some time on your own, have you dated other people, are you okay being in your own company? These are questions you should reflect on.

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Are you marrying for the right reasons? -

Some people really don’t want (or know) how to be alone. It’s important that you are not marrying over the fear of being alone, either in the present or the future.

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Are you marrying for the right reasons? -

But fear of being alone is not the only bad reason to get married again. Others include doing it for money or even to make your ex jealous.

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You might end up marrying the same type of person -

We are creatures of habit, so it’s very likely that you will feel attracted to someone who feels familiar. This may or may not be a good thing, but think about this before you tie the knot with your ex-spouse 2.0.

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You won’t replace your old family dynamic -

Family dynamics are unique to the couple and children (if there are any). You won’t be able to replicate your family life, and you might end up longing for it. Accept things are different and you won’t go back to that familiar place of comfort. This doesn't mean the new dynamic is bad—it’s just different.

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Your partner might call you the wrong name occasionally -

And you might do the same, too. This is normal, especially after long relationships. Our brains make a number of connections, and sometimes the wrong name might come out. How will you deal with it?

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You’ll likely take your marriage quite seriously -

Marrying for the second time means that you are giving the concept of marriage another chance. This means you believe and respect it. It means that you will consider all the different elements of a marriage seriously. Does your partner feel the same way?

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Touching might not come as naturally as it once did -

You might not be as tactile as you were in your previous marriage. You’re not young and naïve, so you might not feel like always being physically connected to your partner. This is not the same for everyone though, and the opposite can indeed happen, too!

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You'll put in more effort -

You really want to make it work this time, right? So you’ll likely put in more effort in your second marriage, compared to your first one.

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You will compare your second marriage to your first one -

This is normal. You have a past, and that past is part of you. You will make comparisons between the two and try to avoid the same mistakes.

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Your expectations might be a bit too high -

Sure, you expect your second marriage to be a success, but by setting your expectations unrealistically high, you might feel let down.

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Your expectations might be a bit too high -

"People have unrealistic ideas that a change of scene is going to make an enormous change," says marriage and family therapist Linda Charnes.

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There might be jealousy -

From both you and your spouse, about your previous marriages. Sometimes marriages end, but people do have a great connection, and they might share children. You might end up feeling jealous of your new spouse’s ex, and vice versa.

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Your new family might be hard work -

Marriage will bring two families together, and anything can happen when other people are involved. "The family members may get too involved in the relationship and the spouse feels like they're getting ganged up on," points out therapist Courtney Geter.

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Blended family -

Do you or/and your new spouse have kids? If so, you should consider all the complexities of having a blended family. Take into account that you are joining different people, with different personalities, who are not getting together by their own choice. There are emotional, logistical, and financial decisions to be made.

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Blended family -

If you both have children, it’s important to define what your roles will be to each other’s kids. The relationship between stepparents and stepchildren can make or break a marriage, so these things should be thoroughly considered.

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Your sex life will be different -

People are different. The routines and preferences you had with your previous spouse will be different from the ones you will now have with your new partner. This might be a good or a bad thing, depending on how well you satisfy each other’s needs and wants.

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Consider marriage counseling -

Before and after getting married. Yes, couples counseling is not just to fix relationship conflicts after they surface. These things happen for a reason, so it’s a great idea to find a good therapist and avoid more complicated problems down the line.

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You will probably want a prenup -

Yes, marriage has a huge impact on finances, and you will probably want to get yourself protected by a prenup in case your second marriage doesn’t work out.

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Check the law -

Before you decide to walk down the aisle again, check your local laws and regulations. Can you and your partner legally remarry? E.g. is there a required waiting period after divorce before you can get married again?

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Discuss name changes -

Do this in advance. Name changes can be a sensitive topic, especially following a divorce. Are you or your partner changing names? Are you doing this for the first time, or have you done it before? Do you want to go through it again? It’s important to discuss this early on.

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The odds are not in your favor -

Yes, second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first marriages. In some countries, the divorce rate for second marriages is as high as 80%, so the odds are definitely against you.

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You can make it work -

Still, some people have beautiful and fulfilling second marriages, so why can’t you be one of them, right?

Sources: (Relish) (Midlife Rambler) (Best Life)

See also: Celebs who married the same person twice

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