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Young people are hitting the "pandemic wall" -

Developmental psychologists use the term "pandemic wall" to describe the deep fatigue in our minds and bodies after having been in this state of disturbance, which we thought would be temporary, for over a year now.

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Disappointment overload -

Children don’t have a full capacity to process disappointment, nor can they easily identify or deal with their feelings, Jaleel K. Abdul-Adil, associate professor of clinical psychology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, told CNN. In this constant state of disappointment, they are overwhelmed with emotions they aren’t equipped to handle.

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Their experience of time is different -

Kids usually experience time through events and activities like practices, recitals, birthday parties, and so on, Jennifer Kelman, a clinical social worker and family therapist, explained to CNN. Since those things haven’t happened normally for a year, many kids feel stuck in this endless limbo of time.

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Their natural hope has been dimmed -

Children tend to have an easy optimism about the world, but many parents are reporting that their kids, who used to be excited about things like school, now lack motivation and are appearing increasingly lazy.

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They might be stuck in the grief cycle -

Citing the well-known five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—Kelman suggests that kids, while grieving the normal life they’ve lost, might be stuck in the anger or depression phases.

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Temper tantrums -

Children, especially those under the age of five, are reportedly experiencing longer, louder, and more inconsolable tantrums than ever before.

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Academic stress -

Kids are falling behind on their studies, and the stress of being expected to "catch up" with extra studying, tutors, or summer school is not helping either. Plus, many children are feeling unmotivated, which may affect their attitude towards school as a whole.

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Children with disabilities are suffering -

The pandemic has taken away the ability of teachers to be extra attentive to students who need it, and the one-size-fits-all style of online education is actually proving to be disastrous for children with disabilities.

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Delays in development -

School was not just a place to learn, but also a place for children to develop social skills, practice language and problem-solving skills, and learn how to act around other people. Now, kids are showing delays in speech and language as well as trouble being in groups, Direct Relief reports.

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They aren’t learning to share -

In fact, kids are being taught not to share and touch the same things, and because of their heightened awareness of germs they’re telling on each other for not washing their hands, according to Stacey Scarborough, head of the Venice Family Clinic children’s center. Sharing is a vital skill, and this could affect their development in, say, the workplace.

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Increased depression and anxiety -

In one study out of China, researchers in Hubei province examined a sample group of 2,330 schoolchildren for signs of emotional distress after having been locked down for an average of 33.7 days, which now seems relatively short. After that single month, 22.6% of kids reported depressive symptoms and 18.9% were experiencing anxiety, Time reports.

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Lack of exercise -

Experts are predicting an increase in obesity rates and heart disease due to the combination of financial struggles, which can mean less healthy food options, and a lack of exercise. Kids aren’t building the habit of fitness while stuck indoors.

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Financial struggles -

Millions of children depend on free school meals, and in the US alone there are an estimated 17 million children in danger of not having enough to eat during this pandemic. Plus, many studies have found that when families struggle financially, kids’ mental health suffers.

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We might feel the ripple of this for some time -

Barbara Duffield, an advocate for homeless children in the US, told NBC that the socio-economic impact of the pandemic on families means, "Higher rates of depression, addiction, mental illness and physical disability, particularly for young children who are growing and developing right now. They’ll face more developmental delays leading to deficits in their education as they grow."

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Increased divides affecting their adulthood -

The struggles of children who already faced greater obstacles in terms of race, economic status, and other inequities will only become more pronounced, David Hinojosa, director of the Educational Opportunities Project at the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, told NBC.

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The effects are comparable to natural disasters -

Many experts are finding similarities between children in the pandemic and children who have survived natural catastrophes like earthquakes and tsunamis. One big difference is that with natural disasters, people could gather to heal and support one another.

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How adults can help -

Surprisingly, the best thing is not to try to distract kids’ attention from the situation, but rather to address it head on—and without any sugarcoating. Parents should share their own disappointment, but there’s a vital next step...

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Make space for their disappointment too -

You want to encourage them to verbalize their disappointment as well. It’s not enough to acknowledge that the situation is hard, Kelman said. You have to ask how it’s hard specifically for them.

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Don’t shy away from reminiscing -

Another perhaps surprising tip is to encourage children to reminisce about their favorite parts of pre-COVID life. Instead of heightening disappointment, this often bolsters kids’ hope and excitement for the future, giving them something to keep their sights on.

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Start a food drive -

Getting kids involved with helping other kids is an amazing project that will help build soft skills like empathy, and fight off feelings of helplessness. It can ease the burden on other families, too. 

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Schedule regular check-ins -

Informal, 15-minute breaks a few times a day, where parents give kids their undivided attention, can keep everyone focused and happy.

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Exercise at home together -

Release stress, get good endorphins flowing, and establish a habit of fitness from an early age.

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Dial back the news media -

If you’re a household that constantly has the news channel playing on TV, or you’re constantly reading updates out loud, children are absorbing all of that negativity and risk feeling demoralized. Just turn it off or check the news privately.

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Ask them what (they think) they know -

Sometimes children can get an exaggerated idea in their head, or they can perceive a situation falsely, and that can be the source of a lot of fear or anxiety. It’s important to correct them when they’re wrong and validate their fears, as psychologist Robin Gurwitch of Duke University Medical Center told Time.

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Plant something -

Seeing time pass by watching the physical growth of a plant can make it easier for kids to feel less stuck in limbo and more grounded in the present, while also giving them something to look forward to.

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Let kids lead the way -

So much of the pandemic is about restrictions and rules, so giving kids the chance to pick which books to read in school, what to have for dinner, or what song to put on in the morning can facilitate their interest and motivation, and give them some sense of creative freedom again.

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Have patience -

The problems won’t magically end when schools and facilities open again, and children are going to need all the understanding they can get. Give them the time they need to get back to their passion and motivation.

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Make use of the tools available -

Everyone needs some extra help during this time, and though things like yoga and meditation often seem reserved for adults, children can benefit just the same from them! Get kids involved in mindfulness and body awareness, and teach them the tools too many of us only learn later in life.

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Try children’s wellness podcasts -

There are numerous sources that have popped up in the past year to help children process what’s going on, but also generally to get them more in touch with their emotions and imagination. A podcast called 'Emotion Motion,' for example, is a child-oriented digital audio narrative that helps kids explore emotions through storytelling.

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Connect with other parents -

Everyone is going through this pandemic together, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help. One idea is to swap kids over Zoom for an hour so they get a break from their parents and learn something new from someone else.

Sources: (CNN) (NBC) (Time) (Direct Relief) 

See also: Back to school amid the pandemic

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