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"How to Behave in a Restaurant" -

An issue of Woman's Own included a guide that advised its readers on the best ways to get through three courses without running into an etiquette disaster. Prepare yourself for some bizarre rules...

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The man always orders - Whether he’s your father, brother, or boyfriend. In addition, the woman can never independently ask the waiter for anything.

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Don't drop your knife - If you do drop your knife, you must ask the waiter for a new one (unless, of course, you're a woman, in which case you have to ask a man to ask). Do not, under any circumstance, pick it up.

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Don't order fruit - Apparently it's "embarrassing."

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Do order celery - It can "quite correctly" be eaten with the hands, provided that it has been cut up into "reasonably small pieces" beforehand.

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Don't order fish - It is apparently too "difficult to manage."

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Wipe lipstick marks from your glass before leaving - It’s in bad taste to leave lipstick on a glass or a napkin. But do wear lipstick!

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Certain foods require entirely different manners - For instance, you should never use a fork and knife with asparagus.

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Certain foods require entirely different manners - Cherries, however, should be "put into the mouth whole and the stones carefully placed on a spoon."

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Spare chairs are not for your use - Neither your coat, hat, handbag, nor gloves should be placed on the totally empty chair serving absolutely no purpose. Instead, your coat goes on the back of your chair, and the rest on your lap.

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If something is spilled on the table, don’t clean it - Call the waiter to do it. Unless, of course, you're a woman, in which case you must ask a man to call the waiter.

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If the waiter spills something on you, don’t react - Because it’s humiliating for them, and you wouldn't want to make them feel bad for spilling scalding soup on your favorite outfit.

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Always tip your soup plate away from you - "Tipping it towards you is the height of bad manners," as is scooping the spoon towards you as opposed to away from you.

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Cheese should never be eaten with a fork - You must always cut off a small piece and "place it carefully on to a small piece of bread," with a constant emphasis on the "small."

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Keep elbows off the table - Somehow putting an elbow on the table is on par with combing your hair at the table.

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The woman leaves the restaurant first - She just has to trust that the man is following behind her.

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Don’t be sentimental -

Parade magazine also offered some advice in 1938, like warning women to never try to get a man to say something honest and true "by working on his emotions." Lest we forget, of course, "men don’t like tears, especially in public places."

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Wear a bra - But, surprisingly, only on the condition that you need one.

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Don’t use the rearview mirror for makeup - "Man needs it in driving, and it annoys him very much to have to turn around to see what’s behind him."

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Don’t sit in awkward positions - It should be noted that the magazine's example of awkward was a woman with her legs uncrossed and her arm resting on the armrest. How "mannish" and awkward!

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Never look bored - It adds, "even if you are."

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Do your dressing in your boudoir - Why? "To keep your allure." Makeup must also be applied in privacy, so as to keep the illusion that your lips are actually that red.

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Don’t give anyone else a moment of your time - "Don’t be familiar with the headwaiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve your entire attention," and they couldn’t bear the thought of you having a life without them!

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Meet the parents on the first date -

Getting introduced to your partner's parents can be a pretty big step in a relationship. In the '50s, however, it was customary for girls to introduce all dates to their parents first.

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Guys should wear a watch - When meeting the parents before a date, guys were supposed to ask them when they wanted their daughter back home. Wearing a watch was both practical and a marker of responsibility for those looking for a second date.

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Don't talk about clothes - Because all men apparently hate clothes, and a woman should "please and flatter" her man by talking about the things he wants to talk about.

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Don't talk while dancing - "For when a man dances he wants to dance."

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Don't talk about yourself - In her 1939 book 'How to Win and Hold a Husband,' Dorothy Dix puts it bluntly: "Don’t talk too much and, above all, don’t talk about yourself, ever. Men have a horror of girls who babble on forever and ever like a brook. Men like to talk about themselves and what they want is an intelligent listener."

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Men must walk closest to the curb - Their lives must always be put more at risk should danger ensue.

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Absolutely no public displays of affection - Any show of affection is in bad taste and will embarrass or humiliate him—because men hate being touched, right?

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Don’t call a guy during business hours -

Dix’s book also says that if you call a guy during work, "he will hate you for it, because you are jeopardizing his job. … There is no surer way for a girl to make herself unpopular with men than to be a telephone hound."

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If you have no luck in your country, go to another one - Dix adds: "Before succumbing to the inevitable she might give herself one more chance by making a change in her environment. Many a girl who is a social failure at home is a success abroad."

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Only go after men after you hit 30 - Dix advises women over 30 to do the courting themselves. They should "pick out the particular men they desire to have for husbands and go in for a whirlwind campaign. Virtually any woman can marry any man if she will just go after him hard enough, provided she never lets him suspect that she is being the aggressor."

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Don't drink too much - This is still pretty standard today, but the reason ruins it: "A man expects you to keep your dignity … drinking may make some girls clever, but most get silly."

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Men always pay - If a woman tried to pay for a date, it would be humiliating for a man.

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The last straw? - Don't pass out from too much liquor! "Chances are your date will never call again."

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Fake it till you make it -

A 1938 article in Mademoiselle magazine reportedly advised college freshman to create an image of popularity, going as far as to get your mom to send you flowers and shutting the lights when you’re in your dorm at night so it looks like you’re out.

See also: Shocking celebrity age-gap relationships.

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