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Let the cat come to you - Research done in 51 Swiss homes showed that when humans focus on something else, like a book, a cat is more likely to approach you.

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Play hard to get - Another study showed that interactions with cats are longer and more positive when the feline both initiates and ends it.

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Approach a cat as if you are a cat - Cats usually greet each other nose to nose, so you can mimic that by offering a non-threatening finger tip at their nose level, a couple inches away.

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Get on their level - Bend down, don't hover, and gently extend your hand. If the cat walks up and sniffs your finger, or rubs into it, you've succeeded.

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Pet them where they like it - Cats tend to have certain spots where they like to be pet. A 2002 study showed that cats respond positively (purring, blinking, kneading paws) to petting on the forehead and cheeks.

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Avoid the tail area - In the same study, cats reacted more negatively (hissing, swatting, swishing tails) when pet in the tail area.

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Got some negative feedback? - From hissing and biting to flattening their ears and twitching their tails, there are many signs that a cat doesn't like your actions and you should back off.

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Give them space - You can’t force a cat to like being held, but when they see you respect their terms, they'll be more likely to come to you when they're ready.

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Make sure they have a place to hide - Cats need somewhere to go when they get stressed, and allowing them to leave their scent there will make them feel more secure in the house.

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Don’t overfeed them - Many think that their pet will hate them if they withhold food, but a study of obese felines showed the opposite is true, at least for a period of time. 

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Keep them healthy - You should always keep your cat healthy so they can ward off problems like diabetes and joint pain, and then they'll be in a better mood with you too.

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Play with them more - Not enough people recognize that cats need just as much exercise as dogs, and many feline behavioral problems stem from boredom and a lack of routine playtime.

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Get the right toys - Cats are most drawn to humans with interactive toys, specifically a wand-style toy with feathers or other prey-like attachments that bring out their predatory behavior.

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Bond even when you’re not cuddling - Playing with your cat every day is the best way to bond with them when they’re not in the mood to cuddle.

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Train them to associate you with good feelings - If you want the cat to spend more time with you, make sure you associate yourself with positive outcomes, like fun games, special treats, or a good forehead rub.

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Use treats strategically - By leaving treats out at a distance, then progressively closer to you, you can make your cat more comfortable around you. Talk to them while they eat so they associate your voice with joy.

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Keep them indoors - A study in Italy showed that cats who stayed mostly indoors (they had one hour of access to a small garden per day) were more in tune with their owners than cats with free access outdoors.

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Get them on your schedule - Keeping indoor cats active during the day means they will also sleep alongside you at night.

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Socialize them when they’re young - With kittens, many studies show that even just a few minutes a day of positive handling by humans helps them grow up to be friendlier. Fostering kittens is a great help for shelters and future owners!

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The love and time pays off - One 2008 study found that shelter kittens who had been given a lot of attention, affection, and play were, a year later, more affectionate and less fearful than kittens from the same shelter.

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But pick appropriate times - Just like you, sometimes cats need space. Don't pet or move your cat when they're washing, eating, drinking, or sleeping. It may scare, stress, or annoy them, which they could associate with you.

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Don’t punish them - Yelling at your cat or spraying them is more likely to get them stressed and unhappy with you than the misdeed.

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Instead, focus on encouraging alternate behavior - To cats, our rules are totally arbitrary, so if they’re jumping on the table, for example, try to instead lure them off with a treat on the floor.

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Try brushing them - This is a hit or miss technique depending on the cat, but if yours loves it, it’s a personal interaction that will bond you two for many more cuddles.

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Consider the cat’s personality - Trying to adopt an older cat? Get to know them at the shelter first, as many adopters have confirmed that it made a difference on their decision to keep the cat.

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Foster a cat first - Shelters can be stressful, so the best way to get to know a cat is when they're in your home. Each cat can have its own rules about interactions they will accept.

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Don’t judge a cat by its fur - A study with 189 participants showed that people often assign personality traits to cats based on fur color, like orange with nice and white with aloofness. Of course, those assumptions are wrong.

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Consider your own personality - If you’re outgoing and active, you should get a playful cat, whereas if you prefer cuddling on the couch, you should opt for a more mellow feline.

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Observe their behavior - Keenly observe how a cat responds to your actions, even things as small as content eye-blinks or irritated ear twitches. Learn their cues and how to tell what they're feeling.

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Adjust accordingly -

Observation only works if you act accordingly. Remember that your cat does not solely exist for you to cuddle, so treat them with respect.

See also: These breeds make the purrfect house cats.

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