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Try a casual conversation -

If you predict that a certain situation or idea is likely to cause tension with a particular individual, try to broach the topic first in a casual conversation.

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Try a casual conversation -

Remember that you are trying to improve the relationship (or to prevent it from deteriorating), so try to go into the conversation with an open mind and no judgment.

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Talk in private -

Tension is always awkward, but it’s important not to avoid it as this will only allow it to grow. Instead, you should try to face it head on to reduce its power.

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Talk in private -

Communication is, of course, two-ways, so why not ask the person with whom you are experiencing tension to discuss the issue in private, away from people likely to listen in.

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Be direct -

Skirting around or doing your best to ignore bad behavior makes for a toxic workplace environment, and it should be avoided.

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Be direct -

Both managers and employees should feel free to approach and challenge one another. Remember that you can be direct and professional at the same time and strive for it.

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Use examples -

If you need to challenge a particular individual who is causing tension, be sure to use concrete, work-related examples of their behavior and the tension it causes.

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Use examples -

Preface the conversation with an explanation of the reasons you value your working relationship and of your desire to find a mutually-beneficial solution.

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Keep them in the loop -

Tension sometimes arises when there is one individual who cannot let go of control. A handy tip to handle someone like this is always to keep them “in the know.”

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Keep them in the loop -

Someone who finds it difficult to relinquish control will often feel better and more able to accommodate change if they are given regular and informative status updates.

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Be understanding -

As with any human relationship, it is easier to understand a colleague’s tension-causing behavior if you understand their motivation.

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Be understanding -

Only once you have understood why a person is behaving in a certain way at a certain time can you hope to get through and diffuse that tension.

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Take notes -

If there is someone on your team whose behavior is toxic and brings everyone else on the team down, you may wish to take a note of their behavior.

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Take notes -

Try to record instances of bad behavior and the way it impacted the team. You may find that this encourages the person to reflect on their behavior and the tension it causes.

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Vary communication -

When trying to diffuse tension it is important to communicate clearly and effectively. Don’t be afraid to try different channels (email, text, IM, etc.) until something works.

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Vary communication -

An important part of this is to persevere and remember that a person’s behavior in the workplace is most often not personal and has nothing to do with you.

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Difficult boundaries -

When dealing with a person behaving in a toxic way, it can be very helpful to define personal boundaries and enforce them when the person crosses them.

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Difficult boundaries -

For example, if someone tries to intimidate you, call them out on it. Very often it will stop the behavior, since the person probably won’t want to own up to it.

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Difficult vs. toxic -

It is important to remember that toxic behavior is different from difficult behavior and the two should be addressed in different ways when causing tension.

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Difficult vs. toxic -

Difficult behavior can almost always be addressed by clear communication, whereas toxic behavior may need further attention or even HR intervention.

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Trust the process -

There is no shame in trusting the HR process and in fact it’s the best way to go in many cases. Do not be afraid to take up a person’s behavior with HR if it is causing too much tension.

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Trust the process -

Assuming that the situation is salvageable, your HR team should assess the behavior in question, have a conversation with the people involved, and monitor progress.

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Listen to both sides -

If you find yourself having to deal with two other people experiencing tension between themselves, be sure to speak to both people separately to get their perspective.

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Listen to both sides -

Be sure to ask each person about the timeline of events and facts that led to the tension, as well as the emotions that the person is experiencing.

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Come together -

Once you have heard from both parties, it is a good idea to get those people together in the same room to hash things out.

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Come together -

Ask each person to take it in turns to relay their version of events. Often both parties will both bring up facts or events that the other party was unaware of.

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Find common ground -

Finding common ground between the two parties is extremely important, as it is this that will enable you to build bridges and find a solution.

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Find common ground -

In reality, finding common ground sounds much more difficult than it actually is. More often than not, both parties will have at least one concern in common.

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Compromise -

Always encourage the parties to reach a compromise. This can be difficult and you will often start from a position in which people seem like they won’t budge.

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Compromise -

However, it is important that people experiencing tension open themselves up to the possibility of compromise, as only this will move the situation forward.

Sources: (Forbes) (Entrepreneur)

See also: Celebrity parents discuss work-life balance

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