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Group cooperation -

One study published in the National Library of Medicine found that social emotions like shame developed alongside cooperative social groups, because as our tribes grew we developed moral and legal systems of order—and the reward for those who functioned well was reproductive success, while the “punishment” for not conforming to social order was embarrassment.

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Maintaining social order -

Mild embarrassment can thus be a healthy and self-regulating way of maintaining social order. It reinforces unwritten social codes so that people don’t feel free to overly offend others without consequence.

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Judge of character -

The researchers concluded that embarrassment helped us distinguish between “good” people, AKA those willing to cooperate, and “bad” people, AKA those who’d take advantage of others. In other words, shame is an indicator that you have a good conscience.

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Humanizing and instructive -

This is particularly true in regards to the figures of modern society whom we all too often praise as if they were godlike instead of just celebrities. Their embarrassing moments not only humanize them, but also serve as teachable moments for the masses.

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Helps us make good decisions -

Oftentimes the threat of embarrassment is enough to deter us from making bad decisions like cheating or stealing.

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A sense of trustworthiness -

People who feel and express embarrassment are more likely to be trusted and forgiven than those who don’t, says Susan David, a Harvard Medical School psychologist and author of 'Emotional Agility.' The physical expression of embarrassment signals to others that you know and care about your actions.

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More approachable -

At the University of California, Matthew Feinberg conducted an experiment where he showed participants pictures of people with various expressions, and asked them a series of questions like whether or not they’d ask this person to join their study group. People who looked a little embarrassed or flustered were more likely to be included than those who looked cool and calm.

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Deepens relationships -

When someone shows you their embarrassment, they are entrusting you with it, which can feel like a privilege. The same goes for when someone accepts our own embarrassment, and we feel grateful for their recognition and acceptance of it (and hopefully their efforts to soothe it). This mutual trust of such shame deepens the bonds of any relationship.

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Inviting empathy -

This mutual acknowledgement and entrusting of such a vulnerable state as embarrassment is also the basis of empathy, and empathy is the backbone of a healthy relationship, household, office, and society at large.

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A networking tool -

One 2011 study called ‘Flustered and faithful: embarrassment as a signal of prosociality’ found that embarrassment fosters trust and indicates the embarrassed person’s commitment to form social bonds, which then evokes an almost reflexive response that manifests as a desire to trust and affiliate with the embarrassed person—something that proves surprisingly useful in situations like professional networking, where it was otherwise thought that cool confidence was key.

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Leveling the hierarchy -

In systems of hierarchy, like in an office, having the bosses experience mild embarrassment can make them more approachable, relatable, and trustworthy to their employees while still maintaining professional roles.

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Encourage teamwork -

When done correctly, embarrassment can connect people instead of isolating them. That’s why many team-building activities often involve silly tasks that require everyone to feel slightly embarrassed together.

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Building character -

Self-deprecating humor is just one example of the entertaining traits that can come from accepting embarrassment into your daily life. Embarrassment builds character because it involves a total awareness of yourself (and your limits) in relation to others.

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Spur motivation -

Because embarrassment is such a powerful emotion that tears through our bodies at the moment (and oftentimes again repeatedly afterwards), it can be a great tool to improve your skills. You’ll obviously dread that embarrassment happening again, and so you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn’t.

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Great stories for parties -

While we might want to drop dead with shame in the moment, the most embarrassing experiences often make for the best stories. What’s 10 minutes of excessive sweating compared to a lifelong tale that always guarantees a laugh?

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Discipline -

There’s a reason teachers call out high schoolers in front of the whole class, and, whether it’s conscious or not, they’ve learned that a little bit of embarrassment goes a long way when it comes to instilling discipline.

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Bringing the private into public -

Of course, there are things we can and should keep private, but there are some things like, for example, menstruation that carry a lot of shame and embarrassment around it. When that embarrassment occurs and is picked up by another person, it opens up an opportunity for people to talk about the burdens we unnecessarily carry by ourselves.

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Combating fear -

Fear is the thing that usually holds us back from going after the things we want. In a paper published in Psychology Today, career coach Marty Nemko writes that, even more than our fear of failure, our self-actualization is most inhibited by our fear of being embarrassed.

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Combating fear -

Unlike the fear of failure, which comes with a certain degree of reasonable thought in terms of weighing the cost of actual failure, the fear of embarrassment is caught up in worrying about what other people will think of you (i.e. sounding awkward when asking someone on a date, sounding like a loser when asking around for job leads, etc.).

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Imagine your own embarrassment -

It may go against the positive-thinking practice, but the principle Nemko suggests is really quite simple: if you focus on imagining situations in which all the things you're afraid of actually happen, you'll most likely realize that they're not so bad, and they're probably useful—granted that these situations aren't destructive or illegal.

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Preparedness -

If, for example, you’re fearful of giving a high-stakes presentation and having someone throw a difficult but valid criticism at you, imagining the embarrassment of this situation will not only minimize its perceived gravity, but you’ll also be able to prepare yourself to react in a better way than getting flustered. This way you’ll probably think harder about the content of your presentation as well.

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Embarrassment shows us what we value -

The concept is akin to a quote from Seth Godin, who says, “Dance with fear. As you dance, you realize that fear is, in fact, a compass—it’s giving you a hint that you are onto something." The things that hold the most potential embarrassment for you are the things you really care about, and therefore indicators of what you should being running full-speed towards.

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Highlights where you need to grow -

Instead of thinking of embarrassment as a kind of shameful shriveling up, you can think about it as pouring water on the parts of yourself that need a little help growing. Embarrassment indicates where our existing skill sets end.

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A chance to show courage -

In Joshua Clegg’s study ‘The Importance of Feeling Awkward,’ published in Qualitative Research in Psychology, he says most of us react to embarrassment in one of two ways: avoiding it, or addressing it. The better strategy is the latter, and it’s a chance to use a bit of humor to make fun of the situation, which then makes you look confident and courageous.

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Reducing the “spotlight” effect -

We tend to overestimate how much attention people are paying to us, which is why we fear embarrassment so much. But once actually embarrassed, more often than not you’ll realize that people really don’t pay us as much attention as we feared.

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A chance to practice self-compassion -

In order to move on from embarrassment, you have to practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness. It’s a reminder that you, like everyone, are an imperfect being who makes mistakes and that no one expects otherwise—so you shouldn’t either!

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Improved quality of life -

When you get to a level of self-awareness and acceptance of the inevitable—something which comes by not running away from embarrassment but rather fearlessly into it—you will increasingly enjoy your life instead of wasting time fretting about it.

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Embarrassment is often unnecessary -

For all our worrying about and fixating on embarrassment, most of the time it’s still completely unnecessary. But one upside to being embarrassed frequently is learning much more quickly just how unnecessary it really is!

Sources: (BBC) (Fast Company) (Psychology Today) 

See also: Things we should stop feeling embarrassed about

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