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Convincing yourself something "is not that important" when it is -

Perhaps you've been longing to take a trip somewhere or visit a long-distance friend, but your unconscious says, "It's not that important."

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Convincing yourself something "is not that important" when it is -

If you have the urge to do something, repressing it by trying to convince yourself it's not really that important will backfire when those emotions come back to the surface.

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Saying "I can do it" when you already have too much on your plate -

Sometimes we have an unconscious need to feel needed, or capable, which fuels taking on more than we can handle in practice.

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Saying "I can do it" when you already have too much on your plate -

Overcommitting at work due to people-pleasing tendencies or a need for validation can lead to stress and anxiety, which sabotages well-being and happiness.

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Deciding "I can't afford it" -

While no one is encouraging people to spend recklessly (and buying things to give your self-esteem a boost isn't viable in the long-term), everyone deserves to splurge from time to time.

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Deciding "I can't afford it" -

If you are constantly scrimping and saving, without cutting yourself any slack, it can really take a toll on your happiness. A little treat that's within your budget can be good for you.

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Telling yourself "I'll do it next year" -

Perhaps you've got the journey of a lifetime on your mind, you'd like to return to education, or move somewhere new. If you have this desire, it's probably not going anywhere.

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Telling yourself "I'll do it next year" -

But if you keep putting whatever is tugging at your heartstrings off, telling yourself, "I'll do it next year," but it never happens, it can sabotage your enjoyment of life and your happiness.

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Thinking "I'm not good enough" and comparing yourself to others -

This unconscious belief that "I'm not good enough" means that when you compare yourself to others, you feel you don't measure up. 

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Thinking "I'm not good enough" and comparing yourself to others -

This can cause you to give up on your projects before they're complete, which in turn sabotages your happiness in the long run. Let where you're at be enough.

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Ruling things out because "I don't need it" -

Once our basic survival necessities are met, we do not technically "need" many things. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the frivolities of life.

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Ruling things out because "I don't need it" -

Taking an impromptu road trip, attending a concert, or trying a new nearby restaurant aren't things you'll survive without. But it's ok to enjoy them anyway.

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Deciding "I forgive you" but holding onto resentment -

In personal relationships, our unconscious behavioral patterns play out. They become most obvious during conflict, especially when we argue with those closest to us. 

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Deciding "I forgive you" but holding onto resentment -

If someone betrays your trust and you decide to forgive them but continue to hold onto resentment, this will taint your ability to feel happiness over time.

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Telling yourself "I don't like change" -

Telling yourself, "I don't like change," is setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness, unfortunately. It's usually because they need routine to feel secure.

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Telling yourself "I don't like change" -

However, the uncertainty caused by change is necessary for growth. Being pushed out of your comfort zone is harder the more you resist it. 

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Believing "I might fail," and not making a change -

What's worse than deciding you cannot succeed before you even begin? If you self-sabotage this way, it has a big impact on your happiness.

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Believing "I might fail," and not making a change -

Humans are in a constant state of change and movement. Give yourself permission to be a beginner at something new and take things slowly. You might just find a hobby or pastime that brings your life deeper meaning. 

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Talking yourself out of something because "it's not productive" -

Are you a slave to productivity? It's held up as one of the greatest virtues of the modern age. But the constant quest to be productive can leave you burned out and exhausted.

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Talking yourself out of something because "it's not productive" -

Making time for things that are "unproductive"—such as reading a fiction novel, watching a new TV show, or enjoying a night of revelry with friends, can help you recharge and feel much better than you did before.

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Turning things down because "I'm too busy" -

Do you regularly find yourself turning down invitations from friends, opportunities to attend new events, or try a class because "I'm too busy"?

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Turning things down because "I'm too busy" -

If there is absolutely no room in your life for spontaneity, it can really sabotage your happiness. There's usually a good reason why something has sparked your interest and the small joys of life are worth making time for.

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Break free: build awareness -

The problem with unconscious decisions is... they're unconscious! A lot of the time, we don't realize why we keep repeating the same patterns in life.

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Break free: build awareness -

The first step to breaking free from these unconscious beliefs and decisions is to build awareness about what we're doing and why we're doing it on a day-to-day basis. 

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Practice mindfulness: journaling -

A practice like daily journaling can help you to examine your actions (or inactions) and to go deeper, examining the thoughts and emotions driving them.

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Practice mindfulness: meditation -

For others, sitting in stillness can help to gain insight. Meditation helps to create a dialogue between the conscious and unconscious parts of the mind.

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Practice mindfulness: meditation -

As meditation reveals the unconscious, some people find it highly effective in helping to break behavioral patterns that were automatic in the past.

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Talk to someone -

If you need help addressing your happiness-sabotaging tendencies and don't know where to begin, it might be useful to talk to someone.

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Prioritize long term contentment -

After bringing these unconscious decisions to the surface, you can commit to working on your happiness long-term. It's a journey! 

Sources: (YourTango) (Verywell Mind)

See also: Insights from the most extensive study on happiness

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