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Common experience -

Studies suggest that jealousy is a relatively common experience in relationships. 

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Jealousy data -

A 2017 study published in the Taylor & Francis Psychiatry and Clinical Psychopharmacology journal, which examined married couples in relationship counseling, found that 79% of men and 66% of women admitted to experiencing jealousy.

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Intense inspiration -

Jealousy has inspired countless works of art, including Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 novel, 'Rebecca.' This classic tale follows a young woman who struggles to cope with her husband’s deceased first wife’s enduring legacy.

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Pop culture -

In 1940, Alfred Hitchcock brought the tale to the big screen. Judith Anderson (1898-1992) portrayed the intimidating housekeeper still loyal to the late Rebecca, tormenting the anxious Joan Fontaine (1917-2013) as the new wife.

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Pop culture -

In 2020, Netflix released a remake of the classic, starring Lily James as the newlywed battling the shadow of her husband's first wife.

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Rebecca syndrome is born -

Dr. Darian Leader, a psychoanalyst and founding member of the Centre for Freudian Analysis and Research in London, drew inspiration from the novel and coined the term "Rebecca syndrome" to refer to retroactive jealousy.

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Definition -

In a recent analysis, psychotherapist Toby Ingham describes patients with Rebecca syndrome as those who become "fixated" on their partner's ex-partner.

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It can happen to anyone -

Despite its name and the fact that the main character of the story that inspired the syndrome was a woman, the syndrome can affect people of all genders and sexual orientations.

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Different types of jealousy -

While "regular" jealousy typically arises from a perceived threat to the present relationship, people with Rebecca syndrome experience jealousy related to past relationships and situations that occurred before their current one.

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Obsessive behavior - While everyone can experience jealousy, some individuals become obsessive, spiraling into anxiety even at the mere thought of their partner's ex.

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Rebecca syndrome vs. regular jealousy -

But how can one spot the signs of the condition and differentiate it from "normal" levels of jealousy?

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Signs -

People suffering from this condition may find themselves comparing their appearance, intelligence, and intimacy level to their partner's former lovers.

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Signs -

Rebecca syndrome can make people feel insecure, causing them to question everything about their relationship.

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Out of hand -

This fixation can escalate into obsessional neurosis, a condition characterized by intrusive, compulsive thoughts that dominate the mind, as detailed by Ingham in an online essay.

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Spike in cases -

Ingham highlights that he's seen an increasing number of people inquiring about Rebecca syndrome since 2018.

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Spike in cases -

He believes the rise in inquiries is due to increased online searching and self-diagnosis of an"obsessional problem," which he strongly advises against.

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Social media's role -

A 2018 interview-based study published in Sage Journals suggests that social media may contribute to retroactive jealousy by making it easier to access details of an ex-partner's past relationships.

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Jealousy's roots -

What triggers such an intense reaction? A 2017 systematic review of 230 studies on romantic jealousy found that it often stems from low self-esteem and past experiences of infidelity.

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Childhood trauma -

However, Ingham explains that rather than stemming directly from relationships, retroactive jealousy often has its roots in childhood experiences, which is why the term Rebecca syndrome is also used in child psychology. 

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Childhood trauma -

"While these early problems are unique to each individual, they may, for example, stem from feeling overlooked by a parent who favored a sibling," Ingham told MailOnline.

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Childhood trauma -

Feeling unimportant or excluded within our birth family can also trigger the sentiment. "The problem is that we tend to lose sight of these early experiences and instead project these issues onto our current relationship," he explains.

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Alternative reality -

As some people become too absorbed in their projections, they end up feeling vulnerable and excluded, even when they aren't.

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How to tackle it -

If you suspect you may be experiencing Rebecca syndrome, specialists suggest a few strategies to address it.

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Look inward -

Consider whether your anxiety and intrusive thoughts about your partner's ex might stem from your own past, rather than your current relationship.

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Look inward -

Activities like journaling, meditation, and breathing exercises can help you reconnect with yourself and begin to heal past trauma.

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No stalking -

Avoid scrolling through your partner's old social media profiles or their ex-partners' accounts. This can trigger unnecessary emotional turmoil.

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No stalking -

While it may be tempting to look back at old pictures, including those with their ex, this can exacerbate feelings of jealousy and make it easier to fall into negative thought patterns, Ingham warned.

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Do you really need to know? - Ingham also advises against asking too many details about your partner's past that you may regret learning. "Oversharing at the start of a new relationship often comes back to haunt us," he said.

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Seeking support -

Talking to a therapist can also help address insecurities stemming from past trauma and develop a tangible plan for managing triggers that perpetuate the behavior.

Sources: (New York Post) (Daily Mail)

See also: Obsessive love disorder: When love becomes dangerous

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