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Start with a positive mindset -

Student-teacher conferences can be extremely beneficial for both you and your child. You must go into the meeting with an open mind and positive attitude to foster a collaborative environment.

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Remember teachers are partners -

Teachers are not the enemy. In fact, they should be your biggest ally and teammate. Teachers are there to educate your children, believe in them, and aid them as needed.

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Prepare in advance -

Before going into the conference, ensure you have reviewed your child's current grades, assignments, and communications with the teacher. Additionally, preparing some questions could help facilitate the conversation.

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Arrive on time -

Respect everyone's time and show up at the hour you agreed upon. Being on time or even a few minutes early shows you're serious about the meeting and are aware that the teacher's time is important.

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Stay calm and civil -

Even if there are issues you disagree on, try your best to approach the discussions in a calm, positive manner. Avoid blaming, shouting, or getting angry as it won't help anyone involved.

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Get curious -

You never want to blame the teacher for something your child has done. It's much better and far more productive to frame questions or concerns as opportunities to learn.

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Do more listening than talking -

Teachers are the ones who spend a ton of time with your child in potentially stressful situations. They can likely offer insights you haven't had a chance to gain at home. 

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Seek specific examples -

If you have doubts or are even just unsure about something your child's teacher says, ask for specific examples. This can help you understand their strengths as well as areas of improvement.

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Clarify expectations -

You can help your child achieve by ensuring you and the teacher are aligned on expectations between home and school life. Ask the teacher what they need and want from your child in terms of academic and behavioral performance. 

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Avoid criticizing teachers in front of your child -

You want your child to have a positive view of the person they're learning from. Avoid criticizing the teacher in front of your child during the conference (if they're there also), as well as in private.

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Express gratitude -

Teachers usually put in a lot of time, effort, and energy to help your child succeed academically and in general. Be sure to thank them and show your gratitude, it can go a long way.

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Focus on solutions -

Inevitably, some challenges will arise at one point or another. Try to shift the conversation to possible solutions versus dwelling on the problems at hand.

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Stay objective -

Base any concern you have on facts and observations instead of emotions. This will help you have a more productive conversation with the teacher and ultimately empower your child's success.

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Ask open-ended questions -

Using open-ended questions during parent-teacher conferences can help facilitate a better, more thorough discussion. Consider asking things like, "How is my child participating in class," or "What strengths and weaknesses do you see in my child?"

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Discuss learning styles -

The learning style of your child might not be aligned with their teacher's style. Have an open conversation with the teacher about how they feel the way they teach matches the needs of your child.

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Address behavioral concerns -

If your child is having behavioral challenges, discuss this with the teacher. Together, the two of you can talk about strategies and develop a plan to help.

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Encourage two-way feedback -

Show the teacher you're open to doing your part at home to help your child succeed. Be willing to share how your child is behaving and performing scholastically at home to paint a bigger, more telling, picture.

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Talk about social interactions -

During the conference, and as regularly as possible, talk about how your child is interacting with their peers and adults.

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Request additional resources -

Your child's teacher is often a wealth of knowledge. Ask him or her for some recommendations to help your child. Books, apps, or even strategies for at-home learning can help enable your child's success.

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Take notes -

It can be tempting to just have the parent-teacher discussion and move on with life. However, taking notes can enable you to later recall points of interest on how to best help your child.

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Frame challenges positively -

Go into the meeting expecting there to be some challenges your child is experiencing. When you discuss them, have a positive, growth-oriented mindset and take it as a challenge for your child versus something wrong with them.

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Ask about progress -

Ask the teacher if your child's progress is in line with developmental milestones, and if they're not, find out how you could all work together to get them on track. 

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Be specific about concerns -

It's best to use specific examples when describing concerns. Avoid vague statements like "My child isn't doing well." Instead, focus on specifics of where, how, or why the child isn't performing.

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Avoid comparisons -

Focus on your child's specific growth versus comparing them to other children or classmates. This is much healthier and can be less stressful for your child.

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Model civility -

Show respect and kindness during your parent-teacher conference. It's important to be a positive example for your child, especially in more professional or academic settings.

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Be open to suggestions -

Be flexible and open to suggestions from the teacher. They may suggest trying different things with your child when they're at home to help them improve when in the classroom.

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Set follow-up goals -

Establish actionable goals and timelines for any concerns raised or discussed during the parent-teacher conference.

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Ask about teacher support needs -

During the meeting or at the end, ask the teacher if you can help in any way, related or not to your child. Sometimes volunteering or providing supplies can be a huge help.

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Stay flexible -

Recognize that proposed solutions might need adjustments from the school and home sides. Be willing to put in the work to help your child and be flexible about how.

Sources: (CNN Health) (Nemours)

See also: Comparing homeschooling and traditional education

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